Not Gonna Lose You
by GeminiSanzo
Summary: Things seem to be going all wrong for the SanzoIkkou it's one problem after another! Gojyo blames himself, Sanzo and Goku blame the kappa for a lot of the things going wrong.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (possible Sanzo x Goku...maybe if I can talk my friend into it )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: Gojyo's spending his time in the room while Goku and Sanzo hit the baths. Hakkai arrives 'home' early with hardly any supplies...It's days until their next town. Hakkai experiences something he hasn't before, and somethings bothering the hell out of him...Gojyo tries to help.

* * *

Hakkai stared at Gojyo who was sulking on his bed. He closed the door gently behind him and set the groceries down on the floor.

"Gojyo, what's wrong?"

Gojyo looked up at Hakkai shaking his head slightly placing a hand onto his neck rubbing the back of it.

"Ah, It's nothin' really. I was just fuckin' bored is all." He replied while his eyes glanced to the bags wondering if there was anything to snack on. He swore to the heavens that he was slowly turning into that monkey.

"You're back early though aren't you?" He added placing his arm back by his side. Hakkai smiled.

"Not too early. I couldn't find half of the things on the list." He pulled the offending piece of paper out of his pocket and stared at it in concern. "This town is rather small."

"That'd explain it then. It looked big at first!" Gojyo sat up more on his bed bringing a leg up more to his chest to rest his arm on as he leaned up against the headboard.

"How far is it to the next town if you couldn't find half the things on the list?"

"Maa," said Hakkai with a smile. "Days." He dug in a bag and produced a carton of Hi-lights.

"Days eh? That'll please Mr. High Royal Pain in the Ass to no end." Gojyo mused looking up at the pack of Hi-lite

"I found these, but they didn't have any of Sanzo's brand. I think I'm in trouble." He threw the carton to Gojyo.

"Aw, thanks man." He caught the carton and set it next to him. "Ah screw that monk, it's not your fault if they didn't have his precious brand." He added with a grin. Hakkai gave a laugh.

"I'm not too worried. But he does get rather...er...cranky when things don't go his way." His smile said he wasn't concerned with Sanzo.

"That he does, but then he's cranky just about every minute of the day anyway." Said Gojyo with a shrug.

"How was the day?" Hakkai asked as he looked around. "Where are Sanzo and Goku anyway? In the baths?"

"Sanzo and Goku...yeah I think they went in not too long ago...as for the day? Guess you could say the usual. Daily whacking over the head sessions with the fan obsessed monk, and arguing about food with the chimp. You have a better day in the town?" muttered the kappa looking at the ceiling thoughtfully for a moment. Hakkai's smile fell and he sat on his own bed taking his monocle off he gave it to Hakuryu to play with then rubbed his face with his long hands.

"I had a little girl scream and run away from me for no apparent reason...other than that? Standard fare."

Gojyo turned around on the bed facing him now when he saw that smile falter. He watched the white dragon for a brief moment before turning his crimson gaze upon Hakkai again, a brow raised slightly.

"Scream and run? That's unusual...Maybe she mistook you for Sanzo." He said adding a laugh to his words. Hakkai's smile came back at that appreciative of the effort.

"I don't know what it was. I just smiled at her and she took off." He scratched the back of his neck. "I've never had that happen before."

"Yeah, perhaps it was one of those one time things?" Gojyo suggested, his expression turning into a frown, though he was thinking a little. He smiled a minute or so later at him. "Ah, I wouldn't let it worry you Hakkai."

Hakkai gave a little smile, "I suppose not." He reached out and touched Gojyo's hand.

"I think I could use a bath."

"Yeah? Same here in fact…we could always go join the other two, or one... depending on if the monkey's still living, although not hearing any gunshots or yells could be considered a good sign." Gojyo smirked amused with the thought.

"Maybe we could...find an empty one..." Hakkai said quietly. "I don't think...I can't smile around them right now."

Gojyo stayed quiet for a brief moment and nodded a small look of concern written over his face at his remark. "Sure we can." He said eventually now placing a hand onto his shoulder. "Be honest with me 'Kai. Is it bothering you? With the kid I mean."

Hakkai gave a small huff of a laugh through his nose. "I'm that obvious am I?"

"I can read you just as well you can read me..." The kappa stated matter-of-factly as he straightened up to stand looking to him. "But yes, you are sometimes." He gave a small smile to him. "Come on, you need the relaxation time more than any of us."

"I suppose I do." Hakkai sighed as he took the robe from next to the door and handed Gojyo another. "Care to join me?" He asked as he began to unbutton his tunic.

"Sure, I'll join ya'" Gojyo replied, taking his shirt off and discarded it to the side of his bed. He took the robe from him with a widened smile. "Thanks."

Hakkai turned his back to give himself some privacy and stripped pulling the robe over his skin he turned with a sigh to the dragon on the bed.

"You want to come too Hakuryu?" The dragon mewled and put his head down on Hakkai's pillow. Hakkai laughed.

"Tired are we?" He reached down and scratched the dragon behind the ear.

"You stay. We'll be back soon." He looked at Gojyo. "Ready?"

Gojyo had slipped off the rest of his attire quickly and placed the robe around him. He looked over his shoulder at the tired dragon briefly before turning back to tie the sash around his waist. He looked back to Hakkai with a nod. "Yep!"

Hakkai gathered their shower things blinking a little as his false eye blurred. Gojyo reached for the door handle after he walked the short distance to it.

"Hey, there should be one other free next to the one the monk and his pet are using now that I think about it." The kappa turned to his best friend not liking the sudden silence lingering in the air. "Oi, Hakkai?"

"Hmm?" Hakkai shook out of his thoughts. "Yes that sounds lovely."

"You wanna talk about what's bothering you?" asked Gojyo opening the door. "If you wanna' that is." He added as an after thought.

"It's...it warrants more consideration on my part before I share I think." The healer said walking through the door.

"A-Aa, gomen." Said Gojyo, shutting the door behind him, he knew better than to push on at something. He walked on ahead towards the baths humming a small tune to himself as he went.

"This one's empty by the looks of it..." Gojyo said opening the door turning to look at Hakkai.

"Cuties first, ne?" He commented adding a playful wink and grin. Hakkai snorted lightly and entered.

"Hardly cute Gojyo." He took his robe off and turned on the shower water, letting the hot water run down over his face and head. He made no move to clean himself, but just enjoyed the feel of the water as it washed his headache away. Gojyo had stayed silent when following him in, and closed the door gently behind him. He followed the brunette's actions, taking his robe off and going to stand under the water.

"Hmm, I wouldn't say that, 'Kai..." He said as leaned his head back a little letting the water run over him.

"We've lived together for over three years. I'd say you're probably a little biased." said the healer raising his head from the water long enough to answer. Gojyo shrugged sub-consciously and shook his head, shifting a little to answer him.

"You never know." He said running a hand through his hair once before reaching over for some shampoo, applied some and retreated back under the water to lather it into his hair. Hakkai's legs suddenly didn't want to support him anymore and he went down slowly onto his knees, holding the wall in front of him for support. He found himself crying, his false eye burning with effort. He shook and held his head and let the warm water touch him gently on the back.

"'Kai?" Gojyo twisted to the side seeing him out the corner of his eye sliding down to his knees. He let the water rinse through his hair removing some soap from it before he decided to go over to him, kneeling down next to him and placed a hand on his back gently.

"Hakkai? What's wrong?" Gojyo asked as Hakkai shrugged out of his touch gently. "I'm tired of it."

Gojyo decided to withdraw his hand figuring he shouldn't try to push on at him ...at the moment.

"Tired...of what?" He asked gently, wondering if he was referring to earlier.

"This trip, the cleaning up after everyone, the killing..." He didn't look up. "I'm so tired."

Gojyo didn't know what to really say to that, he was as guilty as the other two for leaving him to all the cleaning up. As for the trip he guessed none of them could be bothered with it...as for the killing, well they had said it was kill or be killed...and yeah sometimes it did get a bit much.

"Hakkai...I..." He started, stopping in mid though, the hell could he say? There was only really one thing he could say he was sorry for...oh well, he didn't figure it'd help much but..."I'm sorry,"

Hakkai sighed and stood, "It's not your fault dear Gojyo." He said putting a hand over the kappa's scars. "It gets harder to smile every day. But you're not the cause of that."

"I know it's not but..." Gojyo replied standing up as well slightly flinching at the touch but forced himself to bear with it for now. "I'm partly guilty to leaving you to clear up after the three of us..." He added. Hakkai's smile was soft and real.

"My dear friend. That is a fraction of the problem. It's not fair of me to blame it on any of you." He removed his hand. And reached for the shampoo.

"Aa, I know, still counts though..." Gojyo went back under his side of the water, letting the water rinse out the rest of the soap from his hair.

" Just, don't scare me like that again, ne?" He commented a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Hakkai stared at him a strange look on his face. "Yeah..." He continued to wash his hair and moved over to the bath letting himself down into the scalding water with a sigh.

Gojyo turned after the soap was all out, not seeing the strange look and followed him over.

"So, ya' feel any better?" He knew it was probably a stupid question but it was always nice to ask right? The healer lay his head back against the edge of the tub, "I'm on my way."

"Aa, s'always a good start... wonder what those two are up to, there's not been any noise since you went to get things and came back." He said after thinking about it. "Maybe the monkey got Sanzo to go get him something to eat ne?"

"Maybe they're asleep already. God I can only hope." Hakkai's green eyes slipped closed.

"Yeah maybe they are. It'll be a peaceful night for us either way." Gojyo laughed. "Come to think of it, have you eaten?" the kappa asked looking over to his friend seeing his eyes close.

Hakkai's green eye cracked open and he looked at Gojyo with a concentrating look..."Not since...the village two days ago."

"What?! You haven't?! Damn it Hakkai you shoulda' said... If you want to we can go get something later on?" He asked, looking back into his emerald coloured eye. His own eyes told him he was going to be stubborn and rather determined on making him eat something so he wasn't likely to faint or something. Hakkai gave him a little smile.

"You'll have forgotten by the time we get out." His arm rested on the edge of the deep tub his long fingers played over the top of the water languidly.

"Are you saying I'm forgetful or something?" Gojyo raising a single brow at him although smirked a little. He knew it himself it was true but he wouldn't forget this time. "I won't forget."

"I'm saying that I'll have changed the subject enough that you won't remember what it was you weren't supposed to forget." Hakkai had a whimsical smile on his face.

"Oh? I bet you won't, although you're quite welcome to try me." Gojyo said with a grin. He shifted a bit getting comfy determined that he wasn't going to let that happen. He'd remember by the time they got out.

"Gojyo...what's our record at our card games?" Hakkai opened one emerald eye again. "You aren't very good at winning against me...never have been."

"Gah...Wellllll..." He started looking to him. "I can always hope Lady Luck's on my side every now and then can't I?...Or..." He looked away, looking thoughtfully at the ceiling. "...just a lady? Hmm."

Hakkai's smile turned strained. "Ah yes. I suppose..." He left the sentence unfinished as his stomach gave a sharp pang. He winced.

"Yeah, I planned to go out later, buuuut," Gojyo said stretching slightly. "I can leave that for the next town we go to I think." He hadn't taken note of that wince.

Hakkai sat up and waved his hands, his usual fake smile well in place.

"No, no Gojyo not on my account. I wouldn't want to rob you of your fun."

"Naaaah, it's fine 'Kai. I'd already been warned off by his royal pain in the ass about going out anyway. I was gonna' do it to just to annoy the hell outta him." The kappa sniggered.

"It's fun to annoy him at times...until he draws that goddamned gun out and nearly hits." Gojyo added as an after thought. Hakkai sighed and felt his headache return at the mere thought,

"Dear lord, you three are..." His stomach twinged again and he drew his knees up this time as the ache kicked him in the chest.

"Us threeeee are?" Gojyo questioned turning to him again, his eyes widening with worry. "Hey, Hakkai you all right?"

"No I don't...think so." Hakkai said his voice strained.

"Why, what's wrong?" Gojyo asked sitting up and leaning over to his side a little.

"It's..." the pain ebbed again and Hakkai relaxed. "It's nothing."

"Nothing my ass, 'Kai...It's something..." He replied giving him that rare look of 'Don't gimme' that shit.'

"I...I'm just..." Hakkai fumbled for an excuse. But none came. "I'm..."

"Hmm? You're what?" His look softened a little reaching an arm over to place a hand on his shoulder. "You can tell me...ya' know that." Hakkai shook his head at him however. The kappa narrowed his eyes into a serious glare.

"Hakkai…"

"No Gojyo. It's a bother. You just..." He gasped and pushed hard against Gojyo's hand as the pain in his stomach threatened to consume him. Gojyo withdrew his hand after it'd been pushed at. He ran a hand through his red tresses letting a small sigh slip through. "Damn it 'Kai...If it's bothering you then you can say it...whatever it is. I'm always there to listen and you damn well know it."

"Not this..." Hakkai put his hands over his scar and hung his head as his stomach protested, "This I can't tell you..." Gojyo sighed gently at the healer and raised both his hands a little giving into him.

"Okay, I won't push on at it." Lowering his hands back to his sides he let his glance lock onto the brunette from the side. Hakkai blinked a few times his vision blurring dangerously.

"I...I should get out." He put his hand on the edge of the tub and went to push himself up but his arm gave out and he fell back into the water in a very un-Hakkai show of clumsiness.

"Huh?" Gojyo winced inwardly, seeing him fall so...easily? He knew that wasn't like him at all. He got up and out helping the healer, not caring if he went to push away from him again... not that he'd let him after that little 'trick'. "Geez Hakkai..."

"Thank you Gojyo." Said the healer as he leant heavily on his friend, his head was light and his footsteps faltering.

"Aa," He replied, supporting him upright. Damn it that had been scarier than what had happened earlier.

"You...wanna go lie down for a bit? Eat maybe?" He said adding the second part deliberately looking to him. Hakkai laughed a bit at this.

"You win..." His smile fell to a wince of pain, "I want...I want..." He looked at Gojyo with more longing than the Kappa had ever seen. Hakkai wanted so desperately to say what was on his mind. Gojyo continued to look at him, giving him his full attention, also noting the longing look.

"Hmm? What is it that you want?"

Hakkai opened his mouth about to speak but dropped his head again. "I can't..."

"So say it when you're ready...c'mon I say we go get something to eat." Gojyo said kicking himself, damn he had to think of a better way of bringing it up. Hakkai nodded took one step and collapsed completely.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (possible Sanzo x Goku...maybe if I can talk my friend into it )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: After Hakkai faints, Gojyo needs to search the town for the local doctor. Goku has to ask the kappa to calm down, he's scary as he grabs Sanzo by the robes. Sanzo's catching on that somethings wrong and feels that Hakkai going to the hospital is all Gojyo's fault.

* * *

Gojyo had moved that quickly to catch Hakkai before he could fully hit the floor, he hadn't noticed it. "...or not," He muttered pointedly, a hand placing itself on the healers head...he didn't feel hot or anything...not to him anyway. He looked down at him scanning him over quickly.

"Oi, Hakkai?? Can ya' hear me?"

"It's my stomach. Gojyo...I think...a doctor...would be a good idea..." said Hakkai weakly.

"Sure... hell after not eating for as long as you've said...maybe your stomachs trying to tell you something by eating you...and of course you realise our ever loving monk is gonna have my ass for this..." He said trying to add a bit of humour to his words. He held the healer to him while grabbing one of the robes to throw around him then grabbed his own slipping it over him, having dried off a little first helped. He turned the door handle, opening the door.

"And guess what... you're not gonna be walking back." He said as he went to lift him -bridal style of course-. "And don't bother telling me off, you ain't got a freakin' choice."

"You are too good to me Gojyo." Hakkai smiled and didn't protest.

"Yeah well," He said, smiling at him a little. "You're gonna have to put up with that for quite a while." When he got back into the room he placed the healer on his own bed not wanting to disturb the little dragon, he needed his rest as well.

"You can stay put." He added in after thought looking to him.

"The doctor Gojyo. Please..." Hakkai said his eyes heavy.

"Shit...yeah, just try get some rest...I'll be back soon." He turned to leave the room shutting the door behind him with some accidental force.

"Damnit...I say that...yet I haven't a fucking clue where to look..." He muttered to himself not bothering to disturb the monk or monkey for help...not that he'd get it.

After a good while, Gojyo fortunately -eventually- found the doctor after asking around the towns people, managing to plead him into coming to check up on Hakkai. When they reached the Inn again he was panting heavily, letting the doctor into the room and attending to the healer. Hakkai was staring at the ceiling in meditation, trying to drown out the pain.

The doctor neared the healer and checked him around the area the red-head had described eventually coming away from the youth. Gojyo looked to him sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Well? What's wrong with him."

"It'd seem your friend has developed a stomach ulcer. I'd suggest you get him to a hospital." He said. Gojyo's face tripped a little, was it that bad?!

"No hospital sir. I've things to take care of here." said Hakkai.

The doctor looked at Gojyo, "What kind of strain has he been under? Anything severe?"

Well didn't Gojyo felt like just dying of guilt now. "Well... I guess he's been really stressed out with things that's been happening...he does pretty much everything without me or the other two helping…" He looked to Hakkai though unable to look at him in the eye. "Shit, don't tell me stress caused it to come on..."

The doctor nodded simply." I'm afraid so, he'll be in a bit of pain until you're able to get him to the hospital."

"Shit..." This time he looked at the brunette in the eye. "Don't gimme any of that 'I'm not going' crap either."

"I'm not...it's nothing that bad." Hakkai said and looked to the doctor. "Give me some medicine and I'll be fine."

The doctor shook his head, "It won't be enough you need to remove the stress if you're to heal." Hakkai sighed inwardly and looked up at the kappa, "That's not going to happen."

Gojyo had to force himself to stay in his spot, he sighed out of feeling extremely guilty. "I promise I'll help out..."

Hakkai broke eye contact as his face showed shame. "That's not the problem."

"It ain't?" Gojyo asked not taking his own eyes off him. "Then...what is it?" He asked his voice turning gentle for a moment. Hakkai's eyes fell to the floor.

"I...I can't say."

Gojy's expression turned to a frown this time, what was stopping him from just saying? He gave up again, not going to push on at him with the doctor here. The man looked between them.

"I'll excuse myself for a moment." He stepped out and left them in silence. Gojyo waited until he heard the door shut over before advancing a little closer to Hakkai.

"Hakkai...tell me."

"I...I love you..." the man said quietly as he stared at his hand.

"Y-You...wha?" The kappa questioned, he had to make sure he heard that right. Hakkai sighed, terrified of the answer, "Don't make me say it again."

Gojyo smiled slightly at the reply, so he had heard that right. "Is...that what was bothering you earlier?"

"for years..." Hakkai said. "It's just...gotten worse is all."

Gojyo blinked at that, "Years?" He sat up a little slight tinge of pink spreading across his cheeks. "Damn," He ran a hand through his hair looking to him slightly, he couldn't help a small smile still tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"You can tell me how disgusting I am now...but please...say something..." Hakkai couldn't look at him. Gojyo shook his head slightly, shifting to him again and placed a hand to his cheek gently.

"How about I tell you differently? You're not disgusting at all, Hakkai." The kappa said quietly. He hated it when the healer spoke of himself like that. Hell, he'd been developing something for Hakkai over a period of time and it only took him recently to realise it, he'd been to afraid of losing him so never said anything to him, though maybe now would be a good time perhaps. Crimson eyes softened a little as he looked up at the healers face, Hakkai looked like he might cry.

"I don't deserve you."

"Hey, don't say that. Of course you do...and before you say anything...I said so." Replied Gojyo, he sounded like he was telling him off for being so negative.

"I..." Hakkai's face relaxed and he fell back onto his bed unconscious.

"Hakkai?!" He said, his voice sounding panicked, he soon reached his hand up to stroke at his hair, after realising he'd just falling unconscious before standing and heading to the door to let the doctor back in. "Hey, uh…sorry… he's passed out on us."

"Do you have any other friends here? We'll need as much help as we can to move him to the hospital." The doctor asked slipping back into the room.

"Y-yeah, just a sec...Hakuryu, up." Gojyo called to the little dragon hoping it'd be enough to stir him awake, meanwhile he headed to Sanzo and Goku's room rapping a fist off the door. "Hey you two get the fuck out here, now." He shouted through the wood.

Sanzo appeared first looking bedraggled. He had clearly slept with his hair wet as it was fuzzy and sticking up at odd angles. He looked as surprised as Sanzo ever did to see gojyo and Jeep at his door. "What the hell do you want?"

Goku appeared next to Sanzo rubbing at his eyes sleepily. "Huh? Breakfast time already...?"

"Ch' Just shut the fuck up and move your asses..." Gojyo bit at them, more than he would have dared to, especially towards the priest knowing there could be a bullet flying in his direction. He turned and walked back over to the other room. Sanzo was curious at this and pushed Goku out ahead of him.

"What..." he stopped as he saw Hakkai. "What did you do?" he asked Gojyo menacingly.

"Ow, hey! Not so rough Sanzo!!" Goku exclaimed as he was pushed quickly padding behind the kappa stopping when he saw Hakkai as well. He looked up at Gojyo when Sanzo asked him the question awaiting an answer from the half-breed.

Gojyo shot Sanzo a glare. "Shut up priest," He couldn't exactly say he did nothing, he felt like the main cause of the ulcer.

"All you need to goddamn know is he has to go to the hospital...and..." He said edging just that little closer to him, bypassing Goku so he could grab at the monks robes. "Whether you fucking like it or not, it means another delay on this stupid trip, got that?"

"G-Gojyo? Calm down will ya'?" Goku asked placing a firm hand over the kappa's not wanting them to get into a fight. He figured that this certainly had to be bad if Gojyo was royally getting pissed off…more than or as bad as Sanzo would…and threatening the priest.

Sanzo searched the red eyes of the kappa for a long tense moment.

"Tch. Whatever." He finally said looking away. Gojyo let the monk go, sighing a little in relief.

"So...we just needa get him to the hospital now right..."

Goku looked up to the blonde monk with confusion written in those bright golden eyes of his. "What's gotten Gojyo so scary looking?"

"It's his fault..." Sanzo said under his breath. He moved to help the others lift Hakkai's dead weight.

"How's it his fault? He wouldn't hurt Hakkai...would he?" Goku said back to him, his eyes turning to the hanyou for a moment.

"I don't know yet, but he's guilty." said the priest also turning violet eyes to look at the kappa suspiciously.

"Do you have a vehicle of some sort?" asked the doctor of Gojyo.

"We do..." Gojyo looked to the dragon, almost pleading with the dragon to turn into the jeep outside to help. Thankfully with his mind occupied he wasn't listening to the other two at all, otherwise ther'd be an outbreak.

Outside?" asked the doctor. Little Hakuryu cooed and rushed outside ahead of them to wait. Gojyo turned his head back to the doctor, nodding.

"Sorry spacing out...Yeah uhm...outside, shall we then?"

"Oh...how can you tell if he's guilty then...if you don't know?" Goku asked raising a brow to him, his voice raised a little to making Gojyo turn his head towards them for a moment.

"It's the way his eyes don't quite meet mine..." Sanzo said fiercely, loud enough for Gojyo to hear. Gojyo growled a little at the priest in return after his ear caught his words, though he done it quietly and proceeded with narrowing his eyes at the monk.

"Ch' the hell do you know..."

"Oh...I don't think he hurt Hakkai...at least...I hope he didn't." Goku cut in, hopefully stopping them from going into another possible fight and looked up at the kappa for a second turning away as quick as he'd looked when Gojyo's irritated fiery red eyes turned upon him…he was scary.

"If it's an ulcer it was probably...all of us..." sanzo admited shortly loading Hakkai gently into the Jeep.

"O-oh..." Goku said gently looking at the healers face, a slight pang of guilt spreading through him. He looked up to Sanzo again questioning him with those innocent golden eyes again.

"Sanzo? What's an ulcer? and who's gonna drive Jeep if Hakkai can't?"

"An ulcer is something you get when you have an annoying monkey yelling for food all the time so you don't get any yourself..."

Wha? really?" Goku asked blinking. Gojyo came up behind the monkey ruffling his hair gently, and of course resulting in the younger youth batting his hand away and cursing at him. The kappa looked at the priest. "Is it that hard for you to fill him in on something ya' stupid monk." He asked grinning a little trying to act his normal self. "You wantin' to take the wheel or will I?"

"Tch..." said Sanzo. "I'm not going."

"Tightass..." The kappa muttered shoving the monk with his shoulder roughly as he walked by him hopping on into the drivers seat. "Do whatever the fuck you want." Gojyo added. "You do that anyway…"

"Sanzo? Why don't you wanna go?" said the monkey ready to hop into the back of the Jeep, but stopped himself to find out. Sanzo lit his cigarette and didn't say anything. Nor did he meet their eyes.

"Well...I'm gonna' go...is that okay, Sanzo?" the monkey asked turning to Gojyo.

"Goku you can stay with the cold hearted asshole, I don't need any of your help." Gojyo muttered, loud enough for the sentence to be heard by the monk.

"But..."

"No buts! Just stay here... I can always send Hakuryu to you if I need to."

"Aa, okay. If you're sure." replied Goku letting go of the Jeep to go back beside Sanzo, watching the kappa start the Jeep and head off to the hospital.

"Sanzo, do you think Gojyo's acting...weird?"

"Not anymore than usual." He looked down at the boy. "Afraid Hakkai's gonna die?"

"He's not gonna die! Is it that serious?!" The boy exclaimed.

"People don't die from ulcers don't e stupid."

"Then why did you ask me if I was afraid that Hakkai was gonna die? Aren't you worried about him Sanzo?"

"Tch..." said Sanzo. He was worried of course but he said nothing. "Let's go inside."

"Okay, ...ummm Sanzo?" Goku said sheepishly looking up to him, a hand covering his stomach. "I'm hungry."

The monk pushed him toward the door. "Let's go."

"Ack! Hey! All right already 'am goin'" Goku whined going back inside the inn. Ah well he guessed getting pushed towards the door was better than being shot at or getting hit with the fan.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (possible Sanzo x Goku...maybe if I can talk my friend into it )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: Hakkai's awake, Gojyo's by his side without Sanzo or Goku. Gojyo options to stay with the healer while he gets some rest, promising him he'll still be there when he wakes up. After Hakkai wakes up Gojyo needs to go over what happened...Hakkai tells the kappa something which sends Gojyo into a frustrated mood making him utter hurtful things. It's his fault again...

* * *

Hakkai saw Gojyo's worried face when he woke. "Gojyo..." He tried to reach out to touch that face but his arms didn't work. Gojyo smiled gently seeing him wake up, knowing that there'd probably still be an element of worry visible on his face he grinned making it look like he was fine.

"Hey 'Kai." He ran a finger across his forehead, moving a few stray strands of hair back into place. "How d'ya feel?"

"I'm...tired..." Hakkai said. "You...will you take care of them for me?"

"Them? You mean Sanzo and the other two?" the kappa raised a brow, what was he talking about…taking care of them?

"Yes. Goku will be hungry." The healer knew he was drugged, and not making much sense. "You should...make sure they're fed."

Gojyo would have badmouthed the priest and monkey right about now, but forced himself to keep quiet, simply nodding to him and agreed with what he was saying for now.

"Yeah sure thing. I can do that for ya." He forced a wide grin to form on his lips, Hakkai reached over and grabbed his hand. "You've got to take care of Hakuryu too. When I'm gone."

"Hakkai, don't talk like that will you?!" said the kappa, a little more bark in his voice than he had intended to have, panic getting the better of him he hadn't expected Hakkai to come away with something like that of all things, hell it was painful to even hear him speak like that. He sighed to calm himself and placed his other hand over Hakkai's. "Listen to me, Hakkai…you're not gonna fuckin' die or anything..."

Hakkai gave him a drugged smile. "Someday."

"Yeah, well, we all will someday...and then yeah I will." He tried giving a better smile back hoping it wasn't faltering as he thought it was. "You just need rest, and you'll be better in no time, ne?"

"I love you Gojyo." The healer blurted out with a silly looking smile. Gojyo's smile altered itself into a truer looking one. "I..." He could feel slight heat crawling over his cheeks. "Love you to, Hakkai."

Hakkai could have kissed the kappa just then, but he was feeling very drowsy and still couldn't make his arms work. Gojyo shifted to lean over him a little, brushing the side of his face with his fingers. He brought his head down to connect his own lips with Hakkai's kissing him gently, withdrawing his head a moment later to a short distance to look down at him, a smile still placed on his face.

"That's not fair..." said Hakkai grabbing at Gojyo's hand.

"Hm? What's not?" He smirked lightly, a little amused with the response he'd got.

"I can't touch you." said the healer simply.

"Aw, the drug will wear off soon." He replied not really getting what the healer was meaning by that…although technically he should, the smile on his face grew a little not noticing he was intertwining his fingers with Hakkai's.

"I can't...touch you..." Hakkai repeated feeling his eyes drifting shut. Gojyo looked to him brow raised a little wondering if he'd misunderstood the meaning of that. "Just rest..." He muttered to him, his free hand going to stroke at his hair gently.

"Yes...I think...but what if I don't wake up..."

"Don't think like that. You will wake up..." Gojyo assured him shaking his head lightly wishing the healer would just rest and stop talking like that.

"You'll be here?"

"Of course I will. S'not like I can go anywhere ya know, and even if I could, I'd still stay."

"You've got to feed Goku. He's not eaten in 500 years..." Gojyo couldn't help but laugh a little at that.

"Relax 'Kai, Sanzo's got the card, and the saru will bug him to get something, you don't need to worry. He'll get fed."

Hakkai's eyes drooped, "but he's so...hungry."

"Hakkai, get some sleep already." Gojyo said smirking a bit. "I'll take care of it ne."

"Yes Gojyo..." Hakkai said and his eyes fell shut finally.' Gojyo watched him and waited for Hakkai to fall asleep, untwining his hand from the healers to get a chair and drag it over to the bed, sitting at it and propped his head on his arm after he placed it on the sheet while his other hand went back to intertwining itself with Hakkai's again. He watched him sleep for a bit, his own eyes closing shut and fell into a nap.

Hakkai woke with a scream this time sitting bolt upright in his bed. The drugs had pulled out his sad memories and mixed them all together into one dozy of a nightmare. Gojyo got woken up from the scream as a result, crimson eyes turning to the healer a little sleepy still.

"Mmm...Hakkai?" He started bringing himself up a little. "What's the matter?"

"Kanan..." said the young man with a crazy look in his eye. "And you...I killed you...where..." he looked around. The kappa didn't say anything at first, instead he got up off the chair he sat on and sat himself on the bed, best he could anyway and embraced the brunette trying to comfort him a little.

"Hey, it's all right...looks like you just had a nightmare, ne." He went to rest his head against his shoulder. "You're still in the hospital."

"Still...wha?" Hakkai was panting as he leaned into Gojyo's touch. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?" Gojyo brought himself back up again to look at him. " You nearly...well you did collapse at the baths...then you asked me to get a doctor. He said you got a stomach ulcer...and then we came here...only that bastard monk said he wasn't gonna come, and I told Goku to stay...annnnd here we are...pretty much."

Hakkai looked at him fuzzily. "I don't...remember much past getting in the bath. I hope I wasn't too much of a bother."

Gojyo shook his head gently and glanced up to him, curiously. "You weren't a bother at all, Hakkai you never are ...you sure you can't remember much else?"

Hakkai's eyes went distant as if he was trying very hard to remember. "No I don't..." He looked to the Kappa. "Why did something happen worth noting besides the obvious?"

"Well..." Gojyo turned his gaze away for a moment, his mind telling him not to say anything.

"Oh dear, I said something didn't I?" Hakkai asked able to read the expression on his face.

"Aa," Gojyo nodded confirming that and looked back up to him. "It wasn't anything bad though." the kappa added with a small smirk. Hakkai looked at him suspiciously. "I said something hurtful."

Gojyo shook his head a small strained laugh escaping him. "Nah, with the stress you were carrying you had every right to say that we all left you to deal with everything. It wasn't hurtful...to me anyway...but," He smiled a little better now. "That's not what I was really meaning."

Hakkai put his hand over his mouth. "Gojyo, what did I say?"

Once again his mind was 'advising' him not to say anything, what if he didn't remember that? Not that he was going to listen to his mind at the moment, his minds doubt made that smile falter a little into an uneasy one. "You said...that...you...loved me."

"I said WHAT?!" Hakkai exclaimed as his green eyes grew wider.

"You heard," Gojyo retorted not going to repeat himself again.

Hakkai's face went red and he put his face in his hands. "I'm sorry."

Gojyo knew that the doubt his mind was sensing now was bad, maybe it was one of those one off things or something. "What for?"

"I wasn't meant to tell you..." Hakkai felt like he could die of embarrassment his chest felt tight. "Not like that."

The response brought a small laugh out of the kappa. "Not like that ne? You said you'd been keeping it to yourself really for years."

Hakkai's fine eyebrows showed him to be in great distress. "Oh Gojyo. This is...was...not supposed to happen."

"Hey, it's fine." He muttered, hugging him a bit, reassuringly then stood, hand running through his crimson hair again, eyes darting about to look at the various objects in the room turning back to Hakkai as he spoke.

"It's really not fine..." Hakkai's head fell further. "This could ruin our friendship forever."

Gojyo shook his head a little. "No it won't..." He turned to look at him leaning down a little to lift his head towards his. "It won't ruin anything."

"It's...meant to go on as it always has..." said Hakkai achingly.

"I'm gonna guess that you didn't remember what I said earlier, just before you decided to go to sleep, or what I did for that matter."

Hakkai stared at him not remembering in the slightest as to what had been said. "What's that?"

The kappa couldn't help but smirk at him playfully. "You reallllly wanna know?"

His question and actions had caused Hakkai to blush. "I really wish I didn't...but yes I want to know."

"I said... that I love you." said Gojyo, dipping his head down to kiss him gently withdrawing his head after a minute to look at him again, his cheeks had a little colour in them from his own blush. "Then I did that..." He added. Hakkai's mouth hung open ever so slightly. "You..." he touched his own lip. "You kissed me."

"Yeah."

"Oh my..." said the healer.

"Hmm?" Gojyo gave the healer a questioning look feeling his features faltering again, or beginning to falter. "Nani?"

Hakkai shook his head. "We can't do this Gojyo. I've been in one forbidden love all ready. I couldn't bear it..." he couldn't finish the thought and he touched Gojyo's arm gently.

Gojyo took Hakkai's words the wrong way and winced inwardly it felt like he'd just been painfully stabbed a dozen or so times. He felt a rush of anger and hurt wash over him, making him frustrated it was his turn to shrug away from the touch this time, and turned so that his back was to him.

"Why's that? Is it because I ain't female? Or… has it something to do with me being a child of taboo…or is it a bit of both?" He asked, not fully aware that his voice sounded a bit harsh and he walked to the door opening it. "I'll be back..." He said quietly, not bothering to wait for any reply from the healer and closed the door behind him, with a gentle click. Damn it, he knew he shouldn't have said anything.

Hakkai felt tears overwhelm him and he brought his knees up to his chest and sobbed. His stomach gave a sharp kick and he wailed in pain but let it hurt. He deserved it for what he had done to his friend.

Gojyo returned a while later, the scent of cigarette smoke lingered around him, he'd end up needing to borrow off the monk if he hadn't been careful. He kicked the seat, making it turn to the side a little. He never sat down though instead he went to embrace the healer tightly. He'd heard him from outside the room but had been in too much of a mood to come back straight away he'd only have yelled in frustration at him and he didn't want to do that.

"Fuck...I'm sorry Hakkai...I didn't mean to say that..."

"Don't talk to me..." said Hakkai wetly from under his blankets.

"Hakkai?..." Gojyo spoke, backing off before he done something else wrong. "shit...I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Please leave."

"But..." He started, he didn't want to leave. Not now that he'd been the cause of this to.

"Get out Gojyo. You've said enough."

Gojyo sighed in a defeated manner eventually nodding at his request, perhaps it was better to leave him be for a while.

"Fine...I'll leave Hakuryu with you...ne?...and I understand if you hate me now." He said before leaving the room, the little dragon flying into the room settling on the bed. He shut the door and headed out the hospital. It didn't take that long to get here, so he could walk back no problem.

'Goddamnit…way to fucking go you good for nothing moron! You've really done it now haven't you!' Gojyo's mind scolded him, someone or something had to do it. The kappa sighed his mood darkening as he made his way back to the inn in silence completely blanking the random female that tried t grab his attention along the way.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (possible Sanzo x Goku...maybe if I can talk my friend into it )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: After Gojyo gave into leaving the healer on his own, he heads back to the inn hoping that he can have some quiet time to himself...only that's not the case. (Sanzo and Gojyo fight) There's worse news for Hakkai, Gojyo is beginning to hate himself for being the cause of what's happened.

* * *

Eventually reaching the inn Gojyo treaded up the stairs just hoping the monk or monkey wasn't around to see him like this. Not that he was in the mood to even hear them anyway never mind see them.

"The bastard returns..." said Sanzo mildly from where he stood at the head of the stairs watching him with those cold violets. "What did they kick you out?"

Gojyo narrowed his eyes dangerously. He was seriously not in the mood to deal with this holy prick-a-saurus of all people. The monk could go fuck himself.

"Shut the fuck up monk..." He growled warningly as he reached the top step.

"HE kicked you out?" said Sanzo a little surprised reading the look on the kappa's face.

"I said…SHUT UP!" Gojyo yelled going for the priest, he grabbed the monk by the collar of his robes and shoved him against the wall roughly with a fair bit of strength in his hold.

"If you really must fucking know, he asked me to leave he never kicked me out!"

"What did you do?" asked Sanzo coolly, watching the kappa's every move from where he was being held in place..

"Ch' And just why the fuck would you care?!" The red-head asked harshly then snorted after he thought about it quickly. "Oh yeah that's right, so you could fucking rub it in...it's exactly what you'd do, seeing you despise me that much."

"I don't despise you but you are so very stupid." Sanzo stated calmly.

"Is that so...well gee you got a fucking funny way of showing it, stupid prick...why would you care about what I've done anyway?" He questioned again, eyes still narrowed. "There's fuck all you can do..."

"You're a bastard. I hope he leaves your ass." Sanzo spat at him harshly, causing Gojyo to erupt into a higher level of anger altogether. Gojyo would have just carried on and dropped their little conversation but that had seriously struck a nerve in him. He'd stepped back a little just so he could strike the monk hard in the face with his fist.

"The fuck did you say?! What the fuck would you know about it?!"

"I said you're a fucking half breed idiot who doesn't deserve a man like Hakkai."

"You fucking holy prick..." The kappa growled dangerously before lunging at the priest, flooring him, his knees either side of the monk's waist while his hands went straight for the monk's throat.

"I really fucking dare you to say that again!" Gojyo snarled, baring his teeth just a little, he was clearly more than just extremely pissed off knowing everything was his fault also knowing that Sanzo was managing to read him like a fucking book...and that pissed him off even more.

"What you going to do idiot? Kill me? That won't make him love you."

"Shut up..." Gojyo felt the anger beginning to leave him suddenly, his grip began to weaken on the monk. Sano snorted at his pathetic excuse for an answer.

"Kill me fucker. You don't have the balls."

"You fucking bastard...shut up." Gojyo muttered his hands coming away from his neck, the other two wouldn't forgive him if he was to do it. He continued to stay put sitting on the priest's stomach, his head lowered in complete guilt.

"I fucked up...again. There, are you fucking happy now?!" Gojyo asked standing and turning as though to continue down the corridor to his room.

"You're a fucking cold hearted bastard so why not go ahead and gimme shit for it, you're gonna fuckin' do it anyway right?" He muttered to him then walked forward after giving the monk a sharp backwards kick to the monk not caring where he hit. Maybe he should have just beat the living crap out of him there but it wouldn't be fair to not have a fair fight now would it.

"What did you do?" asked Sanzo quietly as Gojyo was walking away. "What did you say to him?"

Gojyo stopped glancing back to the monk over his shoulder. "I told him that I...wait… the hell would you understand anyway."

"Fine, go and pout. It's always done you so much good before." Sanzo stood holding his stomach where Gojyo had kicked him.

"Ch' Fine..." Gojyo sighed heavily and turned to face him. "I told him that I loved him..." He was just waiting for the monk to lay into him with whatever he could think of to say. Sanzo shook his head.

"I don't give a damn what you said. It's not me you should be talking to. Deal with this like an adult Kappa and you might be surprised what comes of it."

"Yeah right, s'if he ever wants to talk to me again after what happened after it." Gojyo snorted rolling his eyes at the priest, he should have known better than to even try and talk to the moron.

"Well you won't get him to talk if you're here will you dumb ass?"

"You ass, he's the one that asked me to leave, and the one that asked me not to speak to him...I seriously doubt he'll fucking listen to me at the moment."

A man came up the stairs and he was recognisable as the doctor. "Your friend is in trouble. He's gone into a coma. We've got him on life support but I don't understand what's wrong with him. Please come see him before it's too late."

"Shit..." Gojyo felt a pain in his chest not like the one he felt earlier, it was much worse. Panic gathered into a tight lump in his throat… that hurt as well. He gave the monk a look that clearly said 'Don't even say it, I know I'm an ass for leaving him there.' before he broke into a reasonable paced run downstairs and outside before breaking out into a full sprint towards the hospital.

Goku came out of the room, looking to Sanzo. "Sanzo? What's going on?? I heard Gojyo ...at least I think I did..."

"We're going. Hakkai's dying..." said Sanzo simply and moved to go down the stairs.

"WHAT?!! Why? HOW?! What's happened?!" Goku asked his voice full of worry for Hakkai even more as he followed the priest.

Gojyo panted reaching the room Hakkai was in, he didn't want to go in, he didn't want to believe that Hakkai had gone into a coma, but he had to accept it. Opening the door slowly he froze staring at the machine the healer was hooked up to.

"Hak...kai?" He forced his legs to move over to the chair and sat on it.

"I didn't say anything before." Said the doctor from behind him. "Your dragon there came and found me." He moved to the side of the kappa and rolled down the bedding so Gojyo could see the bloody bandage wrapped around Hakkai's middle. "I don't know where he got the razor from."

"R-razor?..." He glanced at the bloodied bandage then to Hakkai's face. No.Fucking.Way did he try to...then again...he took a wild guess that he'd been the one to cause this to. He looked away pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes. Of all times for Sanzo and Goku not to be there, how was he gonna tell them this one?

"He was...dead when we found him. He's lost a lot of blood." The doctor pulled up the covers. "He didn't seem suicidal when we brought him in. I don't understand it."

The kappa stared now, into the blackness of his mind, he wasn't going to believe that Hakkai done this...though he had...evidently.

"Fuck...I..." He trailed off not knowing what the hell to say. Shaking his head he stood excusing himself from the room, he needed a moment and walked outside the room unable to bear it the other two were gonna have more than his ass this time. "Goddamnit Hakkai..." he muttered angrily leaning up against the wall. The doctor followed him out into the hall, putting a hand on the man's shoulder.

"If he lives the night he'll be out of the woods. I don't know...if he'll be the same. But he'll be alive."

Gojyo simply nodded. "Yeah...thanks," This would no doubt set the monkey off...maybe even get him smacking him one in the face. The doctor nodded. "Are you going to be okay here alone?"

"Yeah, I will. I doubt the other two would even bother their asses to come." He snorted lightly at the last part shaking his head a little again.

"Just make sure to talk to him and don't give up." said the doctor straining a small smile to the half-breed.

"Yeah," Gojyo replied moving off the wall to go back into the room, sitting back on the chair looking at the healer with saddened eyes. A hand absently reached out to touch the healer's slightly tousled hair.

"Fuckin' hell Hakkai...If I knew you were gonna pull a stupid ass stunt like this I wouldn't have left." He moved his hand to stroke at the strands a little. "I swear to the gods you better not leave me..." He added looking over his figure sadly. The hiss of the respirator was his only answer. Hakuryu curled up on Gojyo's lap, clearly distressed, his little ears twitching. Gojyo petted the dragon on his lap, only way of knowing how to comfort him.

"You better wake up or else..." He said as if the healer could hear every word. "You're an idiot for even thinking about doing that let along being one for actually doing it...though, s'my fault isn't it? In fact everything seems to be have been because of me...damn you...I thought you were just wanting some of that 'me time' the stupid monk has because of what I had said to you... "Gojyo stopped in mid sentence as he could feel something crawling down his scarred cheek, he reached upto it with the back of his hand wiping the escaped droplet away.

"Fuck...I truly didn't mean to hurt you damn it! And I guess what that stupid monk was right...I'm an idiot, ne?" He paused for a moment looking back at the healers face.

"And I bet the asshole would be rubbing it in too if he were here... Goddamn it...please don't leave me alone, I love you..." He added after a moment of silence...or the almost silence, staring at Hakkai as if he was just going to spring back to life at any moment and forgive him. The respirator just hissed slowly. Hakkai's face stayed slack his mouth open as if in sleep his pallor about three shades lighter than it should have been. Sanzo chose that moment to open the door quietly and silently crossed the room to stand behind Gojyo watching the healer on the bed shifting his gaze to the sulking kappa silently.


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (possible Sanzo x Goku...maybe if I can talk my friend into it )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: Sanzo and Goku arrive at the ward, Gojyo blaming himself again for the state Hakkai is in.

* * *

Gojyo had heard the door opening, yet he hadn't bothered to turn to see who it was. With the silence of the person who'd entered he was determined it was the monk.

"Go ahead and say it." He muttered. "It's my fault...entirely that he's like this..."

"Shut up." said Sanzo simply. "Goku...get your ass in here."

"You both came?" He asked a little surprised. "Of all people I thought it would only a'been the monkey."

"I'm here damn it..." Goku answered closing the door after getting snapped out of his thoughts coming to stand beside the monk. "…and I'm not a monkey..."

"Tch..." said Sanzo. "We care about Hakkai just as much as you do."

"Aa, I know that ya' stupid fucking priest."

"Is he gonna be okay?" Goku asked looking sadly between the two then to the small dragon then to Hakkai and the machine. Sanzo looked to Gojyo. "Well?"

Gojyo hesitated for a moment. "The doctor said if he lives through the night he'll be out of the woods but he doesn't know if he'll be the same…but alive...and yes I know it's my fault before either of you state the fucking obvious."

Goku was silent just staring at the healer in disbelief the spark in those golden eyes had suddenly gone and turned a bit dull, now they were full of sadness. Sanzo put his hand on Goku's head. "It's no ones fault."

"Don't gimme that shit monk. If I hadn't left him when he asked me to then he wouldn't have done this...right?"

Goku looked up at Sanzo briefly questioningly, his eyes a little teary-filled and looked back down after casting his gaze to the kappa quickly.

"Shut up Gojyo." said Sanzo quietly. "Wait...done what?" The priest added, he was missing something… Goku turned his head towards the water sprite again.

"Gojyo? What did he do?"

"He...went fucking suicidal...he got hold of a razor and lost a lot of blood...tell me now that it's not my fault." He replied to them in a quiet manner, though harshness slipped through.

"It isn't your fault he's a moron." Said Sanzo quietly.

"Shut up monk, you don't know what even happened before it." Gojyo snapped back, sending the priest a hard glare. Goku didn't answer for a moment, he just continued to stare.

"But...what...happened that he'd do this?" he questioned looking straight at the kappa's head.

"I...I hurt him." Gojyo replied simply not explaining it further than that.

"We hurt him..." Sanzo corrected him.

"Baka... not in the same way I freakin have." Gojyo shook his head. "I just want him to wake the fuck up." Sanzo took Goku's shoulder. "Come on Goku..."

"Wha? Why? Shouldn't we stay here? "Goku asked turning to look at him.

"If he dies...it's because he's weak and I don't need you around that." His tone was not harsh. "Come on Goku."

"Wh-...okay." he replied padding away from the two heading out the door to wait outside for him.

"He won't die...Sanzo..." Gojyo said half turning his head to look up at him.

"That's up to him then isn't it." said Sanzo shutting the door softly behind him.

"Ch' If he doesn't want me chasing after him so I can kick his ass then he'd better pull through this." Gojyo muttered to the air, eyes turning back to watch him. "C'mon Hakkai...wake up."

The doctor came in seconds later. "Is he any better?" He asked Gojyo going to check the machine.

"I dunno, I'd hope so." the kappa replied resting his head on his arm on the bed as he had done much earlier.

"His heart is beating stronger..." said the doctor. "You're doing him good being here."

"It is? I'll stay for a while then." He said feeling a little sleepy now, not that he'd be able to fully sleep until he'd woken up.

"I'll bring in a cot for you," said the Doctor quietly.

"Nah, you don't needa do that...I'll be fine like this." Gojyo closed his eyes deciding on taking a short nap, keeping alert to anything that would wake him up. A knock on the door woke him as a nurse came in with a cot. "This is for you sir."

The kappa turned his head to the nurse eyeing the cot. "Aa, thanks miss." he gave a small tired smile to her and turned to look at Hakkai after the nurse left, and ran a hand through his hair gently...placing a quick kiss onto his forehead. "I'll be over here," He said quietly going to the cot to lie down on it, drifting back off to sleep rather quickly.

There was no change during the night but morning found Hakkai still breathing. The doctor woke Gojyo with his entrance to the room to check the machines.

"Oh I wish you'd wake Mr. Cho. Your friends are waiting..." he said the comatose man.

Gojyo woke up, stretching a little looking over. "How's he doin'" He asked twisting his body round so he was sitting on the edge of the cot.

"He's no better no worse. The longer he stays this way...the less is the hope he'll be your friend when he awakes."

"You gotta' be shittin' me...you telling me there's a chance he might lose his memory?"

"He may loose more than that..."

"Like ?" He regretted asking that the second he said it, a list of possibilities ran through his mind.

"He may...not be intelligent as he was. We don't know how long his brain was with out oxygen. He may be a complete child...he may be completely normal."

"Shit...I bet the monks just gonna' love to hear that news."

"We have facilities to take care of him should the worst happen..." said the doctor gently.

Gojyo nodded, he'd like to think that the worst wasn't going to happen at all, if it did he wouldn't be able to leave him

"I'll get you breakfast...what does your dragon eat?"

"I fine really, and I think he eats just about anything, so anything'll do him."

"Okay I'll be right back."

Sure." He nodded, striding the short distance over to the other bed. Truth was he couldn't eat, having the fear that he might bring it back up for some reason. It must've been due to the shock and such.

"Mister Gojyo?" asked the nurse with a knock. "Can I have a moment alone with Mister Hakkai please? He needs his bath."

"Wha?" He turned looking at the nurse leaving the healers side. "Oh right, uh...yeah sure." the kappa strained a smile heading out the room and out the building for a long forgotten morning smoke. Hakuryu followed riding on his shoulder his head resting on Gojyo's own. The dragon hadn't slept much and he felt a little ill like Gojyo did.

10 minutes later…

Crushing out the last of the cigarette with the heel of his boot, he'd finished that one a little quicker than he usually would have. He turned to the small dragon. "I sure hope he wakes up soon, ne? Think we should head back in?"

: Hakuryu didn't answer except to roll his neck around Gojyo's own as if seeking comfort

"Ya' poor lil guy," He said quietly, reaching a hand up to pet the dragon. "It'll all turn out okay...I hope...come on let's go in and wait." Gojyo added heading back inside.


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (possible Sanzo x Goku...maybe if I can talk my friend into it )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: What's this? Hakkai's woke up already? That does seem a little quick for his condition...yes, there's just a little catch to his life being saved by a single wish from the kappa. Not all goes well either.

* * *

Gojyo knocked on the door a little later to see if the nurse was in the room. He couldn't see her which had obviously meant that she'd left. He entered the room closing the door and turned his head up towards the healer…his eyes widened a little as Hakkai's green eyes shone at him like gems from his bed.

"'Kai?" asked the kappa leaning against the now closed door. He forced his body to respond to his wishes and go over to him. "You're awake?"

Hakkai stared at him dully. His eyes from this angle lacked any lustre they had ever had. Gojyo pouted slightly wondering where his spark was, he looked….dead, though he wasn't.

"When did you wake up?" He stared down at him hoping he was gonna reply to him. Hakkai's eyes did not move at the words. He didn't look like he had even heard him.

Gojyo sat down on the seat again, continuing to look at him. His hand had risen yet again to sort chocolate strands into place and even though he knew he was probably listening -hopefully anyway- he tried talking again.

"I'm not mad with you Hakkai." He said in an almost whisper. The healer did not move a bit but his eyes gave a slight twitch to meet Gojyo's. They were still dull and showed no understanding. Gojyo couldn't help but smile very slightly at him.

"Just so you know, ne."

Hakuryu gave a short kyuu from where he perched himself on the kappa's shoulder. Hakkai's eyes now shifted to look at the dragon but he didn't seem interested.

"...I hope the other two don't show up while you're like this, I don't think I could deal with them both at once...you still mad at me? After all I'm cause of it. Even if the monk says I'm not...I am." He spoke gently bringing his hand down to stroke at Hakkai's face.

Hakkai just watched him his eyes glazed and his face uncomprehending. Gojyo was doing his damndest to not think negatively about the current situation, though he knew this wasn't at all the Hakkai he knew, non-responsive and that dull uninterested look he knew something wasn't right, of course he mentally went through some possible reasons he just didn't know which one was the right one. He turned his gaze away cursing lowly at himself, if only he hadn't gone off. "Damnit..."

"Go...jyo..." Hakkai managed to breathe.

"Hakkai?" Gojyo looked back to him not to sure if he'd just imagined that. The healer swallowed hard. His mind was too scattered to remember much or put together a thought, but he knew the face in front of him. "Go...jyo..."

Gojyo took a guess he was remembering, it brought somewhat of a smile to his face at least.

"Gojyo..." Hakkai said again quietly.

"What?" Gojyo canted his head a little as he questioned him.

"Gojyo..." it was all the healer could say. Words escaped him. All thought escaped him. But he knew that name. And it made the red head talk. And even though he didn't know what he was saying...He liked his voice. Hakuryu gave another chirp although it sounded like he was questioning the kappa. Gojyo glanced to him.

"Beats me Hakuryu...I think he's lost part of his vocabulary." The dragon must've understood that to an extent as he replied with a more saddened kyuu.

"Gojyo..." he felt so frustrated. Tears fell from those now dull eyes. "Gojyo."

"Shit, Hakkai…don't cry..." Gojyo said startled by the sudden tears, he scooted a little closer to him, his hand moving to wipe away the tears that fell.

"Gojyo" Hakkai's tears got worse. He had done something to hurt this man...he couldn't remember what it was. Gojyo cursed again under his breath, he didn't want to move him with the injury he carried, and with him saying only his name made him wonder if he was trying to remember anything else. He tried stroking at his hair again thinking it may have helped. Maybe talking to him would help to…maybe. He was so never hearing the end of this from the priest or monkey.

"It's ok..."

Hakkai sobbed. He couldn't remember anything and the words of this man were comforting but he didn't know what they were and he felt jumbled. The kappa didn't really know what to do. Maybe he should say some words...but what...

"Sanzo..." he watched for any signs at all that he recognised the name. Hakkai just shut his eyes against the strange word. Gojyo raised a brow, okay maybe not…what else…

"Goku?" he tried that instead, hoping that something he was saying may help trigger his memory. The young man shook his head. He wished Gojyo would stop but he didn't have to words to ask. It was frustrating beyond compare. He owed this Gojyo something he knew... "Gojyo..." he moaned. Luckily Gojyo caught onto the shake, he smiled a little. "Sorry Hakkai. Thought I was helping."

The healer blinked at him slowly glad the irritating names have stopped. The doctor chose that moment to come in.

"He's awake!" said the man happily. "How is he?"

"He seems to be...okay...besides the part where isn't looking himself and that he can only say my name." Gojyo replied with a hint of guilt in his voice.

"Oh dear." said the doctor looking crestfallen. He walked to the healer's side.

"What's your name son?" Hakkai just stared at him dully. "Oh dear..." said the doctor again.

"Hakkai." Gojyo muttered quietly looking at those lifeless emeralds before turning to the doctor, a hopeful look in his eyes told him to tell him he was going to be okay. "Guess this will take a while ne?"

"It could never happen." said the doctor. "As I said I've no way to know how long he was with out oxygen or if all the damage is repairable or how bad it is."

"Kuso...Hakuryu...go find Sanzo and Goku and bring them back..." He looked back at Hakkai, his eyes showing a saddened look. The small dragon nodded and left to get the others wanting to help his master just as much as the red-head did.

"Isn't there something we can do though..." Gojyo asked quietly.

"You can talk to him and keep him company. He may get better, but I've never seen anyone come completely back from this severe of an injury I must be honest."

"Okay, I can do that if it might help him along." The kappa nodded a little and traced the outline of the healers jaw with a finger.

"Hakkai," he said gently trying to get his attention. The healer looked at him more for the touch than the word which didn't mean anything to him. Gojyo knew the word probably never meant anything to him but he was determined to repeat his name as much as possible. He even tried pointing at the healer and repeated his name. Slowly the line was drawn in Hakkai's damaged mind.

"Hakkai..." the healer repeated. Gojyo gave a nod to the healer; it was a start at least. The doctor looked impressed.

"I'll leave you be..." He gave Gojyo his breakfast on a tray. "We'll leave him connected to the equipment for the time being. His body is still weak."

Gojyo glanced to the side eyeing the breakfast for a moment, maybe he could try and eat something now he was awake.

"Sure, thanks." He gave a small smile to the doctor before looking back to the healer in front of him. The doctor put a hand on his arm.

"I'd keep your friends arguing to a minimum. It might upset him."

"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind." Replied Gojyo glancing up to him.

"Good luck...I'll be around if you need me." said the doctor quietly as he went to exit the room.

"Thanks, I'll give ya' a shout if I need ya'" He replied, wondering if the other two would really come at the same time...well he guessed Goku would come over with or without the monk.

Sanzo pushed in the door at that moment.

"Goku stayed at the inn..." he said by way of greeting. "I couldn't get him out of bed..." he made a strange noise when he saw Hakkai's green eyes staring at this beautiful newcomer.

"He did? Didn't you use his favourite word of all time?" Gojyo asked jokingly.

"No...he's torn up about..." he pointed at Hakkai. "Who's not all with us as I can see. What did the doctor say?"

"Ah, I see, well I suppose it'd better if he stayed...for the now ne? He said Hakkai might get better. So far he's only been able to say two things..."

"Tch..." replied Sanzo angrily. "Fucking idiot did himself brain damage."

"Sanzo..." said the kappa in a warning tone, sending a glare in his direction, he'd say something more than his name but he wasn't wanting to risk upsetting the healer.

"What?" asked Sanzo harshly, "That's what it is isn't it?"

"Yeah I know that…" Gojyo bit back lowly. "…just don't start." He added and looked in Hakkai's direction again petting at his hair again. The harsh tone didn't upset the healer who now knew himself as Hakkai. This man came with that tone. It meant he cared.

"Sorry, guess I'm just...overly worried?" He said quietly. "Ne, why don't you try talking to him as well?"

Sanzo stared into the emerald eyes with sadness in his own. "He never had much going for him but his intelligence." He said quietly to himself.

"Aa, you think he'll get better?" Gojyo asked absently, his stomach growling at him harshly. He ignored his stomachs demand for food.

"I think he's luckier than he's ever proved himself to me if that happens." Said Sanzo.

"Yeah, guess so. He better eventually remember what happened...I wanna know exactly what the fuck possessed him to attempt what he did." Gojyo muttered, loud enough for Sanzo to hear. There was guilt in his voice again and so there should be.

"What did you fight about exactly?" Sanzo asked leaning against the wall.

"...You'll just call me an idiot." Gojyo sighed shaking his head, adding a sarcastic laugh knowing he was one already.

"Maybe, but I can probably give you a reason why he cut himself open..." Sanzo stared at him.

"To get away from it all, perhaps?" The kappa muttered turning in the chair to fully face him.

"He...couldn't remember much after we got him to the hospital and had a sleep...so I went over what happened and I'd done something...he asked and I told him..." He smirked slight just visualising the response already.

"Then he said we couldn't do it, that he'd been in one forbidden love and couldn't go through with another he wouldn't be able to bear it...and then I said something to him and walked out to catch a cigarette...went back in a while later and he asked me to leave...and fuck, I didn't leave the first couple of times he asked...gave in and left and I'm a fucking moron for doing it."

"What did you say to him? When he said the whole...'forbidden love' thing?" asked Sanzo coolly. Gojyo winced inwardly, he had really hoped that Sanzo wouldn't have asked that.

"I can't remember exactly really I wasn't thinking when I said it...but it was something along the lines of 'is it because I'm not female or because I'm a child of taboo...or both' I hurt him by saying that."

Sanzo rolled his eyes. "So the one person he wanted understanding from took his feelings and took them personally and shoved the right back in his face...Ever think maybe he was worried about keeping you safe?"

Gojyo looked up at him, his eyes slightly widened. He hadn't thought, he'd just taken it the wrong way instantly and said what he'd said and went. He placed his face into his hands wincing inwardly again cursing himself while he shook his head a little.

"Shit...I hadn't...fucking idiot...I'd say shoot me but..."

"Tch." Sanzo uncrossed his arms and went to look Hakkai in the face. "I'd say you've caused yourself enough pain for a lifetime."

"Heh, yeah. So...what was your reason?"

"My reason for what?" asked Sanzo brushing that stubborn stray of hair out of Hakkai's face.

"Why he cut himself open or should it be obvious?" He felt his eyes narrow slightly at the monks actions trying to not make it obvious though.

"I told you..." Sanzo said. "He wanted to save you from being Kanan...save you from himself, because it is himself he blames for her dying. His only mistake was that he went for his belly and not his heart." he said softly

"Yeah...heh maybe it'd be better for him to remember everything but that then right?" Gojyo asked, leaning an elbow on the bed.

"I'm sure we don't have a choice in the matter. I'd settle for him knowing why he's this far west. And how to drive the damn Jeep."

"Yeah, true we need him for this journey. And I guess you were right...as usual."

Sanzo didn't say anything to that..."Hakkai you'd better get better soon." he said to the healer who looked about to fall asleep. He turned to Gojyo. "I'm going to feed the monkey."

"Hm? Oh, right. Okay... tell the squirt I said hi, ne?" The kappa strained a smile as his stomach growled at him again. He was so determined not to eat still.

"Eat..." said Sanzo. "If you faint...I'm not paying for you to stay in this place."

"Hah, you'd need to feed me if you want me to eat pretty boy. I'm not up for eating anything at the moment. I won't faint." Gojyo snorted "I'm just gonna stay here for a while. Will you be comin' back later?"

"Yeah I'll bring the monkey..." Sanzo opened the door and Hakuryu flew in. "Help him...or I'll kick your ass...or let Goku do it for me." He left and shut the door behind him. Gojyo laughed slightly.

"Yeah...like hell you will." He turned his crimson gaze to the healer.

"Gojyo?" asked Hakkai quietly reaching out a hand for him.

"What is it, Hakkai?" replied the kappa while he brought his own hand up to touch the healers. The healer moaned quietly. "Gojyo..." the voice was pleading now. Gojyo had a feeling that this wasn't going to be easy, trying to figure out what he was wanting and all. He canted his head to the side and looked to him questioningly. The healer's hand stretched further the fingers splayed. Hakkai's eyes looked frustrated. "Gojyo."

Gojyo leaned closer in to the healer just so he was in reach. His hand now tracing small patterns over his skin soothingly trying to calm that frustrated look he could detect in those pretty green eyes of his.

"Hmm? What is it Hakkai?" He tried repeating his words.

Hakkai smiled and looked at their hands. "Gojyo..." he said as happily as he could. Gojyo looked down to their hands too, so that was it? He brought it down so his palm was resting up against Hakkai's, giving a small smile of his own. Hakkai didn't want this man to leave him. He grasped the hand in his weak grip. He looked to the food and back to Gojyo anxiousness in his eyes.

Gojyo let him grasp at his hand and followed his glance to the food...hmm okay he thought he was catching on It had to be one of the two things he was thinking of. "Do you...want me to eat?" He asked.

The young man smiled and tightened his grip on his hand. Gojyo smiled gently, happy that he was able to understand what the healer was wanting this time but shook his head a little.

"I'll eat later; I'm not too hungry at the moment...okay?"

Hakkai gave a very Hakkai-like frown and again looked between Gojyo and the food, this time more pointedly. Apparently Gojyo hadn't understood him. The kappa gave a small laugh. How could he argue against that look exactly? He reached over to the tray taking a bit of toast from it turning back to him and took a small bite of it. Hakkai grinned at him as he watched the Kappa eat.

"Want a bit?" Gojyo asked offering it too him with a small smile. He couldn't really finish it but would if it kept him happy.

Hakkai raised his hand that had an IV drip in it. He seemed startled himself by the motion. He moved his head to look up at the bag of fluid they had hooked up to curiously. He didn't know what this was...but he was fairly certain he wasn't hungry.

The kappa watched the healer look up at the bag curiously, damn he couldn't very well explain that one now could he? Hakkai quickly lost interest though renewing his staring at the forgotten toast in Gojyo's hand.

Gojyo decided to finish the toast off and then moved to take the drink from the tray taking a sip of it, he was overall thirsty more than he was hungry leaving the other slice of toast alone on the tray.

Hakkai's chest moved slowly as he drew in air through the hoses stuck up his nose. His stomach hurt, and he wondered why. He felt exhausted suddenly and his eyes drooped.

Gojyo placed the drink back on the tray, tightening his grasp on the brunettes hand slightly.

"Tired, Hakkai?" He asked quietly and reached his other hand up to trace small patterns over the side of his face. The healer made a tiny groan that definitely sounded tired.

"Go to sleep." Gojyo said gently giving him a small smile again. "I'll be here." He added, knowing he probably wouldn't understand him. Hakkai didn't want to sleep in case his new friend left him. But the man's hand was so warm and his eyes were so heavy. He drifted off to sleep and the nightmares reached up and consumed him. Gojyo placed his head down on his arm bringing his hand away from the healers face closing his own eyes. He really needed to catch up on some sleep himself, he kept himself alert as well just incase.

Gojyo woke up with a start after a long while; he'd had a bit of a nightmare, dreaming that the worst had happened. His eyes came to a stop on Hakkai's chest a sigh of relief when he saw he was breathing.

The young man was twitching slightly in his sleep. His heart monitor showed him to be in some sort of distress, his heart beating quickly as he panted for air.

"Hakkai?" He said quietly, eyes looking to the monitor with concern.

"Shit...what the hell's goin' on..." muttered the kappa as he looked back to Hakkai. He lifted himself onto his feet just enough to look down at him. "'Kai?" Gojyo placed his hand on the healers shoulder gently and shook him gently as he could trying to stir him awake.

Hakkai's breathing became strained. "Kanan..." he groaned. His stomach was in agony. "Gojyo..."

"Fuck...Hakkai, wake up already..."

The healer gave a cry and tears began to leak from the corners of his eyes. "I didn't mean to..." came more words. "Help me Gojyo..."

"Shit…shit…Hakkai…" muttered the kappa staring down at him. Right now he felt so helpless. Gojyo reached for his hand, grasping it gently, he hadn't a clue what the hell to do. "Hakkai...come on. Open your eyes..."


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (possible Sanzo x Goku...maybe if I can talk my friend into it )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: Gojyo goes back to the inn to try and talk to the other two, Goku being the only one up for conversinf dully with the kappa of course. / Weeks have passed and Hakkai slowly but surely improves. The Sanzo ikkou are stuck in town until Hakkai makes a full recovery.

* * *

The doctor slammed open the door, his alarm being set off by the erratic beating of the heart monitor. He pushed Gojyo out of the way as he uncapped a syringe. he took out the tube from the iv and pinching it off he handed it to Gojyo to hold. He put the needle in the plastic opening that lead to Hakkai's bloodstream. Gojyo took the tube from the doctor watching the situation with a great amount of worry for the healer. He gripped the tube in his hand watching the needle getting put into plastic opening. 

"Is he gonna' be okay?"

"It's just the pain, he's going to be fine."

"Just pain eh? It sounded like he was having a freaking nightmare." Gojyo muttered looking from the doctor to the healer.

"Possibly. I noticed the new cut was over an old wound, it's possible the pain is bringing back whatever trauma caused that."

"Yeah...I can guess what's being brought back." Gojyo said with a small sigh. He continued to stand, watching the healer. "I take it I'm gonna be waiting a while for him to wake up?"

"This will put him into a deep sleep so he won't dream. You will be waiting a while yes."

Gojyo nodded a little.

"Okay, I'll head back to the inn for now...might as well check on the stupid monkey." He said quietly turning for the door a small kyuu stopping him in his tracks he turned to look back at the dragon.

"Oh...if you need to get a hold of me or anything send the dragon." With that Gojyo continued on out the room and hospital, back to the inn.

He took a path straight to the room where the monk and monkey should be, knocking on the door lightly. "Oi, you idiots in there?"

"What do you think?" came Sanzo snap of a voice from the other side of the door.

"Bastard!" Gojyo snapped back opening the door and letting himself into the room. "Like fuck if I'm gonna' know if you're in here or not."

"Where else would we be?"

"Ch' Maybe the monkey coulda harassed you to get him food making you leave the room...speaking of the chimp is he any better?"

"Ask him yourself," said Sanzo as Goku came out of the bathroom. Gojyo looked over to Goku placing his usual grin on his face. "Oi saru!"

"I'm not a monkey! Erogappa!" Goku barked at the redhead plopping himself down on the edge of the bed sending a glare to the kappa before laying back.

"If you're worried about Hakkai, then he's doing...okay." Gojyo said a strained smile now placing itself on his face.

"That sounds ominous..." said Sanzo. "What happened?"

"Well," the kappa began with a small smirk of amusement. "I guess in a way you could say he made me eat that breakfast I was given...then he slept and went into a nightmare...he spoke more words then, than when he was awake."

"That means he's better than we thought." said Sanzo nodding in approval.

"Yeah, though whatever he was dreaming about set off the alarm...or whatever it is the doctor hears… he was in within a minute or something giving Hakkai something to send him into a deeper sleep."

"So...why are you here?" Sanzo asked glancing up at him.

"Stupid me thought maybe you two would be of some company while waiting for Hakkai to wake the hell up." Gojyo shrugged a little.

"Take the monkey," said Sanzo flipping the page on his newspaper. "I'm not interested."

"Ch, yeah that doesn't surprise me one bit...why the fuck would you be interested in anyone or anything other than yourself? You're one royal pain in the ass, monk." Muttered coldly in reply.

"Wasn't that a little harsh...Sanzo?" asked Goku, turning his head slightly.

Tch," Sanzo said. "Just get out of my sight."

"Ah, the hell you'd care..." Gojyo muttered turning to leave the room and head to his own.

"Sanzo? What's buggin' ya? " Goku asked, raising his voice slightly

"Why? What do you want me to do coddle them? This is their battle, I'm not part of it."

"Their battle? Wha?" Goku said sitting up to look at the monk with a confused glint in his eye. "What do you mean by that, Sanzo?"

"They had a fight and Hakkai got it in his head to cut himself open. It's Gojyo's fault, he knows it, so let him deal with it."

"Oh... right…I didn't know that…but Sanzo, don't you think Gojyo's a little...weird? It's like he's all stressed or something?"

"I'd hope he's stressed. Idiot."

"Hmmm, we could at least talk to him." the monkey said quietly laying back down on the bed. "You are worried about him...right?"

"No, not about him. Hakkai's the one that cut himself in half. Not Gojyo. I don't really give a damn about that idiot but without Hakkai we don't have a jeep."

"I meant Hakkai...but, is that the only reason you're worried about him? We wouldn't have Jeep?" Goku turned his head training those golden eyes of his on the priest.

"Tch," said Sanzo coldly. "Saved him from getting himself killed the first time didn't I? You decide."

"Okay, okay... you just made it sound like that." Goku shook his head a little. "I'm worried about them both."

"Then do something if you think it'll ease your conscience any."

"I mean what if Hakkai doesn't get better? or worse if he did die then Gojyo would probably be more stressed...maybe I could go with Gojyo when he goes to see Hakkai?"

"Do what you want." said Sanzo.

"Why don't you come to?" Goku questioned.

"Because it's not my affair."

"Aww, come on! Don't be such a hard ass Sanzo!" Goku whinged sitting up again on the edge of the bed this time staring hard at the priest, his brows turned into a stubborn frown.

"Get out of my room," Sanzo said with out looking up from his paper. "I don't take orders from chimps."

"It's our room! I'm not a chimp and I'm not ordering you around!" Goku said with a hint of irritation picking up his pillow and threw it at the monk, not meaning to of course. He blinked replaying his actions in his head...Oh boy, he was in trouble now.

"Get out!" Sanzo roared the vein appearing on his temple. "NOW!"

Gojyo chose that moment to re-enter the room looking a little confused with the sudden roar of the monks voice.  
"The hell you on monk? I only just came in!"

"Take the monkey back to the hospital with you..." said Sanzo standing. "I'm going to take a bath."

"Huh? Okay if you say so...are you gonna' come along later?" He asked casually watching the monkey stand and hurry out of the room, he shrugged the thought off maybe he'd said something to anger the monk...not like that was new. Sanzo just left without another word, this whole situation pissed him off.

"I'll take that as a no then, stingy bastard. Wouldn't hurt him to care for once in his life would it?" Gojyo muttered rolling his eyes then snorted at his own words. "Of course it would...stupid priests too fucking proud to do such things...ch'" He sighed and ruffled the monkeys hair. "C'mon then saru."

"Hey! Stop that…Let's just go see Hakkai you stupid pervy water sprite." Goku muttered back clearly still a little upset that Sanzo chose to stay behind.

"That stupid old monk getting' to you? Cheh, don't let him bother you, he'll come round soon enough."

"Yeah, I guess so…" Goku replied resisting a small grin from Gojyo's remark about Sanzo being an 'old' monk.

OOooOOooOOoo -

The weeks had gone past somewhat quickly and Hakkai learned quickly. He knew all their names and was much the same as before. No one would answer him as to the nature of his injury however.

"Sanzo! I'm hungry!!" wailed a certain monkey earning a smack over the head from Sanzo.  
"Shut the hell up you damned ape!" The blonde hissed still feeling slightly stressed out though he shouldn't be.

"Where is Gojyo, Sanzo sama?" Hakkai asked from his bed. "Do you know? He's not been to see me recently."

Sanzo looked up to the brunette. "He's not? Tch...stupid ass..." He shook his head slightly. "I have no fucking clue..."  
"He went out this morning." Goku said canting his head thoughtfully replaying the events that happened that morning in his head…they had breakfast and Gojyo had gone out early to go somewhere. Hakkai's long eyelashes blinked once and his smile was sad.

"I imagine he found a woman to spend his time with. I can't expect him to stay all the time."

"Probably...knowing that asshole he'll be all fucking che-"  
"Sanzo, I've not seen him flirting around with any women since we got here." Goku cut in noticing that look on the healers face.  
"This is Gojyo we're talking about you stupid chimp. He'd probably just cut it out until Hakkai got a little bit better..."

Hakkai waved his hand. "It's fine Sanzo please don't worry over it."

The priest snorted sounding rather amused at that. "Why would I? Though it wouldn't be too much for that stupid kappa to show up."

"You're angry..." said Hakkai simply. "Don't be."

"Should I go look for him?" Goku asked standing up. Sanzo shook his head and shrugged.

"Do what the hell you want..." He looked up to the healer again with a sigh. "Why the hell shouldn't I be?"  
"I'll bring Gojyo here, just you watch Hakkai." the youth grinned before running out the room to find the kappa.

Hakkai lay down and stared at the ceiling. "I thought that he loved me once...I thought I remembered that...was I wrong?"

Damn, how could he answer that one? The monk stayed silent for a moment before answering him. He had a feeling that Gojyo still loved him…even if he hadn't been visiting the healer a lot.

"Maybe you should ask him yourself. Knowing that moron he's probably forgotten." Ok maybe not the best way of phrasing it but still. He guessed Gojyo was trying not to bring it up now that he thought about it more.

"I don't...want to ask him." said Hakkai. "It's not my place. He's happy with his life."

"Tch, do whatever you want. Just don't come crying to me about it...if you want a straight answer, ask the stupid kappa. If not, shut the hell up and keep thinking about it in silence until you're driven mad from no answer...after all, you may just be wrong about that last part."

"Hm..." said Hakkai folding his hands over his stomach lightly. He felt sad like something was missing. Sanzo shifted uncomfortably in his seat, how long did it take for a stupid monkey to track down a single stupid red-headed kappa anyway. "Tch,"

Goku came to a halt again thinking he'd spotted the kappa, finding out it wasn't the kappa he was looking for and continued on.

"GOJYO! goddamnit you stupid pervy water sprite..." He called out, hoping by pure chance that Gojyo would hear him calling. Goku was determined to find him and drag him back, even if he had to break limbs before dragging him. He continued down a street filled with people and shops…now only if he'd brought Sanzo's card…no, his mission was to find Gojyo and take him back to the ward. The tall young man came swaggering out of a clinic just to his right. He lit a cigarette.

"There you are, goddamn Kappa!!!" Goku called to him catching him from the corner of his eye.

"Where the hell have you been?! I thought you were gonna' visit Hakkai!"

Gojyo coughed harshly into his hand. "Just checkin' in here to see if they had any medicine that might help him."

"It's taken you hours just to do that?" The monkey questioned, golden eyes scanning him suspiciously.

"You haven't been going around women again have you?" He asked idly, shaking his head a little after. He hasn't meant to ask him something like that.

"Anou...c'mon I told Hakkai I'd bring you back with me...And I'll drag you back with or without broken limbs if I have to!" He added grasping a wrist with his hand. Gojyo laughed and ruffled Goku's hair.

"It's all right monkey I'm comin'. Don't get your chimpy diaper in a bundle."

"GAH! I am NOT a monkey!!! and I don't wear chimpy diapers ya' freakin' pervy H20 asshole!" Goku complained swatting the hand that fluffed his hair. Gojyo just laughed as he followed the monkey back to the hospital.

"Either that stupid chimps gotten himself lost looking for a pervert or he's just taking his sweet time getting distracted by food." Sanzo snorted quietly, violet eyes trained on the door. The door cracked open about ten minutes later, Goku popped his head around the door with a wide grin on display coming in seconds later dragging Gojyo in with him. "Hey Hakkai, look what I found for ya!"

"Hello Goku," Hakkai nodded. "Gojyo." He was sitting up again. The kappa scratched his neck. "Hey ya Hakkai."

"About fucking time you got here! Damned stupid water sprite." The monk hissed lowly as he stood.

"Now that you're finally here I can go for a while..." He muttered storming past the kappa and monkey, out the door. He was away for a smoke and about time too.

Hakkai wouldn't make eye contact with Gojyo. His green eyes flicked from the ceiling to his lap and back again nervously. "How was your walk Gojyo-san?"

The kappa put his hand in his pocket and plopped down in the seat next to the healer. "You know...same old."

Goku looked between the two and blinked. They were acting weird...kind of, he grinned for a moment remembering the point when he bumped into the kappa.

"Hey, Gojyo did you get any medicine for Hakkai from that place you went to?"

Gojyo coughed a couple of times into his hand mostly at the memory of what the doctor had told him about his lungs.

"No they didn't have any...sorry Hakkai."

Hakkai smiled. "It's no problem Gojyo, don't worry about it."

Goku looked to the kappa that cough sounded harsh to his ears, though he'd leave it alone figuring he'd end up just getting shouted at.

"Hey Hakkai, ya think when ya get outta here we could talk Sanzo into takin' us out to some place and we can have a biiiiig meal!" He emphasised it by stretching his arms out to the side as far as they'd go. Hakkai smiled.

"I'd like that...I should see if I can have permission to go out for the evening. I'm feeling stronger."

"Yeah! That'd be really awesome! Gojyo what'cha say?"

Gojyo smirked. "Yeah sounds like a plan, I can go see about it you two hang tight..." He rose to find the doctor.

"Sure...If ya see Sanzo you should say to him to." He replied a wide grin on his face still. Gojyo waved an hand over his shoulder to say he'd heard. Hakkai turned to Goku when he left.

"Is that cough new?"

Goku thought about that one and shook his head a little.

"I'm not so sure, I think he was coughing like that when I bumped into him... I've only heard him do that twice."

Hakkai's eyebrows made him look worried. "I hope he's not sick."

"He probably isn't, I don't think he'd be outta bed if he was...ya know what he's like when he is sick." He replied with a small laugh. Hakkai's eyes got distant...

"No I don't remember..."

Goku looked up at him apologetically. "Oh, right...I'm sorry Hakkai. I guess I forgot you still probably don't remember everything."

Hakkai opened his arms for a hug. "Please don't be sad Goku."

Goku sauntered over to the healer giving him a hug. "Okay, I'll try notta' be." He stood back after a moment. "Hm, wonder what's taking Sanzo so long."

"Maybe he doesn't like looking at me either..." said Hakkai sadly.

"Wha?" Goku looked at him in the eye. "Hey, don't say that... why wouldn't he wanna look at you?"

"I don't know, they both look so sad when they look at me. Him and Gojyo...I did something terrible to end up here."

"You did? I don't remember getting told anything like that." Goku muttered looking like he was trying to remember anything that the two said to him...he couldn't remember them saying anything about it though really apart from one thing.

"All I remember really is Gojyo coming to wake me and Sanzo up...saying you hadda go to hospital...think you'd fainted or something?"

"That wasn't it..." said Hakkai holding his head. "There was pain..."

"There was? Sorry Hakkai, if I had been told about it I really can't remember anything." The monkey said with a small apologetic smile.

"No Goku..." He reached out one hand to put it on Goku's head. "It's not your fault. Thank you...I just...I can almost remember."

"I guess if you can almost remember then that's a good thing ne? Mou, you gonna' be okay for a moment? I wanna go find Sanzo."

"I'm fine Goku..."

He smiled widely at the healer. "All right! I won't be too long." He turned to go out the room running off to find the priest. Hakkai lay back in his bed again to stare at the ceiling. He felt like he was missing a huge part of his heart.

The door opened again, the kappa slipping back into the room after coughing harshly into his hand again. He closed the door gently scanning the room for a moment before coming to sit back in the seat.

"I'm back, did ya throw the saru out? I wondered why it was so quiet all of a sudden."

"He went to find Sanzo..." said Hakkai an arm over his eyes.

"Sou ka? Guess I just missed him then, I spoke to the doc he said he'll think about it and see how you're doing later on. " He said trailing his gaze up to the healer.

"Hm? What ya sittin like that for?"

"My head hurts...I seem about to remember...but it's like smoke..."

"Smoke? As in hazy right? You want me to get some painkillers for ya?"

"No it's just...the harder I grasp at it...the further it seems to run..." He peeked at Gojyo from under his arm. "Rather like you."

"Like me?" Gojyo questioned with a raised brow, he had a feeling he knew exactly what he was talking about, even though he hadn't brought it up. "What do you mean?" He asked looking away to the side.

"It seems the more I wish you were here...the faster you run from me."

Gojyo looked a little confused at that. "I think I get it, but hey I wouldn't run from you." He added, slipping a smile onto his lips.

"Good," said Hakkai with a smile, "Because I'm in no condition to run after you."

"You sayin' you would run after me. I bet you couldn't catch me." He said with a small laugh adding a playful wink hoping Hakkai didn't take that the wrong way. Hakkai gave a little puff of a laugh.

"I would try to come after you."

"I'll consider that as a good thing. Ne, if the doctor does letcha' out for the evening we should let you decide where to go other than one us deciding. It'd only be fair?"

Hakkai smiled at him, "Anywhere would be fine."

"Anywhere? Ya sure you don't wanna be more specific on that? Knowing that uptight monk of ours he'd end up choosing for us."

"Where would you like to go Gojyo?"

"Hmmm somewhere with a pretty lady perhaps?" He laughed after that, such a bad joke and possibly not the best time to start saying stuff like that...and he did think about it...after he said it, he didn't have an interest in the women his only interest lay with Hakkai.

"I'll go wherever you wanna go 'Kai." He added, not wanting to be landed with the choice of where to go. Hakkai just smiled at the familiar saying.

"I think somewhere where I could sit down would be best.

"Noted. Can you remember anything that ya liked to eat? Because if ya don't, we could always find somewhere that has stuff ya would eat?" He added looking up at him.

"I..." Hakkai used his hands to sit up. "I think I'm willing for anything that's not hospital food."

"I think anyone would be up for anything but hospital food, unless of course they were somehow addicted to it?...or like Goku and eat anything and everything he could...Buuuut yeah we could do that." He shifted in his seat a little.

"You remembered much else at all?" He asked, coughing into his hand again a moment later adding a small wince after it, damn that hurt his throat. Hakkai put a hand on his arm.

"Are you okay?"

Gojyo nodded straining a grin onto his face. "Yeah, I'm perfectly fine Hakkai. Just a tickle at the back of my throat."

"You're in pain..." said Hakkai. "Don't lie to me."

"I'm not. I just coughed a little too hard, that's all...really it's nothing to worry about."


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (possible Sanzo x Goku...maybe if I can talk my friend into it )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: Hakkai discovers what Gojyo what planning on keeping secret from them, the guys go out to eat to.

* * *

"Your lungs..." Hakkai looked at them feeling them through his contact with Gojyo's shoulder. "Dear Lord Gojyo, you have cancer..."

"N-" He looked at him then looked away, knowing he couldn't pretend he didn't in front of Hakkai of all people. "Yeah... I do."

Hakkai's lower lip trembled. "Oh no, how bad is it?" He asked though he knew the answer.

"As bad as any kind of cancer can be I guess." He replied looking back up just catching the healers lip tremble.

"I can't run after you then..." He reached over and drew Gojyo too him. "You can't die."

"C'mon 'Kai, I won't die..." He said with a small short laugh, placing his arms around the healer gently. "...well, easily."

"Are you treating it?"

Gojyo shook his head. "No, it doesn't look like it's not treatable. I'm really sorry, Hakkai,"

Hakkai's tears overcame him out of nowhere. "It's not fair..." he sobbed into Gojyo's hair.

"Hey... S'just the way it's happened I guess...they say life's never fair." He tightened his hold around the healer comforting him -best he could anyway-

"You're so kind...I just...I can't follow you if you die." Hakkai said, still sobbing.

"I know, but there's not much we can do about it..." He said calmly side glancing to him. "...or maybe there could be if you remembered how to use your chi?" He added in a mutter as an afterthought before shaking the thought from his head.

"Just...promise me one thing…don't say anything to the other two. Sanzo might figure it out for himself, but he won't care in the slightest, but Goku's too stupid to even notice anything." He added, knowing that it wasn't fair asking Hakkai to do such a thing but he didn't want the others worrying over him…not that they were likely to do such a thing right? Hakkai hugged him again. "I don't remember and I won't tell."

"Thank's 'Kai...I didn't really want you to find out either to be honest." Admitted the redhead, there was guilt hinted in his voice. Making Hakkai worry was the last thing he wanted to do. The healer hugged him and sobbed harder. "It's not fair..." he inhaled the clean smell of Gojyo's hair.

"I never wanted you to worry. Hakkai? don't cry, please."

"You...you'd just die without telling me?"

He shook his head, he didn't mean it like that. "I'd tell you, but I'd have had probably have said it later, not this early...if that makes sense."

"No it doesn't...I want to be here for you as you were fore me."

"I know, you will be." He strained a laugh. "Guess it's also true with the saying 'You pay a price when begging the gods' ne?"

"I'd never switch your life for mine..." Hakkai wouldn't let him go.

"Mou, I wanted you to live...and that night when the doc said you could live or die I didn't want you to die, I didn't care what happened to me when I had asked the gods to let you live through the night, I guess this is just the 'paying back' thing...or whatever you wanna call it. It'll be okay."

"Karma..." said Hakkai sobbing. "Please don't die..."

"I told you, I'm not gonna go that easily. Don't cry 'Kai."

And of course at that moment Sanzo decided to come into the room, eye raised at the scene in front of him. "Just what the hell is goin on here?" He asked, not really caring what was going on of course, he just felt like making his presence known. He eyed the pair and shook his head at Gojyo in particular.

"Hakkai he's not trying to do anything perverted is he?"

"No," said Hakkai sitting up with a sniff. "I just had a slight break down is all. He was comforting me."

Gojyo went to sit back down in the chair, glaring in Sanzo's direction.

"Goddamned monk! Like hell I'd be trying anything perverted!!" He said, raising his voice a bit, enough to trigger another of his harsh coughs.  
"Tch, this is you we're talking about...it really is a bit hard to decide if you are being perverted or not." Sanzo snorted in reply.

"Maa..." said Hakkai. "We were going to go out to eat Goku said."

"s'right we were." Gojyo added. "Doctor said he'll see how Hakkai's doin later before deciding for sure, but I think he'll be allowed."   
"And I suspect you morons are expecting me to pay for it as usual?" Sanzo muttered.  
"Damn right, you're the one with the freaking card!" Gojyo stated matter-of-factly.

Hakkai chuckled. "It'd be nice of you Sanzo."

"Damned saru...fine, I guess if I really have to...just don't go making a habit of putting yourselves in hospital to take advantage." said Sanzo with a sigh, shaking his head slightly. Gojyo laughed slightly. "Hah! As if we have to do that anyway, Goku takes advantage of you all the time."  
"Do you want to die quickly Kappa? If not I'd advise you shut the fuck up."

Goku bounded in. "I just ran into the doctor he says you can come Hakkai! But no walking!"

No walking? Damn, guess I can give ya a piggyback 'Kai." Gojyo said turning to look at the healer with a grin on his face.Sanzo shot him a disapproving look and rolled his eyes a minute later.  
"Tch, idiot. Of course, and if you topple over we'll have even more problems. He'll need to go in a wheel chair."  
"Thank you captain-fucking-obvious," The kappa muttered.

"I GOT IT!" Goku yelled happily and ran out the door.

"Bakazaru..." Sanzo muttered striding on over to the other two. He eyed the two suspiciously. "You two aren't hiding anything from us are you?" He asked quietly, he had that 'feeling' something was up, but what he couldn't pin point...yet.  
"The fuck are you on about monk?" Gojyo asked as though he had no idea what he was on about

"Tch, Hakkai?" Sanzo questioned shifting his gaze to the healer, he should have known better than to confront that idiot kappa first.

"No Sanzo..." said Hakkai shaking his head. "Everything is fine I assure you."

Goku came barrelling into the room with the chair. "GOT IT!"

"It better be...I swear to the gods if I find out differently I'll kill you both." Sanzo muttered quickly hearing the saru arrive back with the chair.

"Tch, anyway...If we're going then move your sorry asses, I'll be outside." He announced walking away pulling out a pack of his cigarettes.  
"Cheh...that was close..." Gojyo said in an almost whisper getting up and wandered to the saru ruffling his hair. "Good job chimp, your masters got you well trained hasn't he?"

"SHUT UP GOJYO and help Hakkai out of bed!"

"Yeah yeah, didn't I tell you earlier not to get those chimp diapers into a bundle?" the kappa grinned heading back to the bed. "C'mon you, let's get out ne?"

Hakkai smiled and reached out to the Kappa to help him. Gojyo smiled a little in return and went to lift the healer out the bed, placing the healer's arms around his neck. He sauntered over to the chair and placed him in it, the healer seemed a lot lighter than he recalled. "There we go."

"Thank you Gojyo." Hakkai felt tired all ready. He was sure he looked terrible. He hadn't regained much colour in his face and his weeks in the bed left him stiff so his shoulders were stooped. He was sure he looked like an old man.

"Yer welcome 'Kai. Just lemme know if yer needin' anything right? Ya wantin one of us to push?"

"I think that'd be best..." said Hakkai. His arms didn't want to move where they lay in his lap. "I could use a blanket over my lap before we go maybe...I am rather cold."

"Yup, sure thing." Gojyo moved to the bed again bending down to grab a spare blanket from under it. Moving back over, he placed it down on the healers lap with a small smile. "There, I think it's the thicker blanket so there should be more warmth." He looked to Goku. "Oi Saru, you fancy pushing first?"

"REALLY?! YEAH!" Goku was actually a better nurse than anyone would have given him credit for. He was very careful as they went out the door. And went slowly around every turn. Gojyo walked beside them impressed with Goku's careful actions, as they reached the main entrance he went on ahead to open the door for them. Sanzo stood outside near the wall noticing them finally appearing.

"Took you slow asses long enough. It better not take you a fucking era to decide where we're eating either." he added stubbing out the smoke he'd finished.

"Some where CHINESE!" said Goku excitedly.

"Tch wherever, as long as it shuts you up." Sanzo muttered turning to walk on ahead.  
"You okay with that, 'Kai?" Gojyo asked looking down at him. Hakkai smiled up at him. "Of course."

"YES!" Goku laughed.

"Okay, then let's go. Hey Goku, make sure blondie doesn't go for a real cheap place like he did last time." the kappa added with a mischievous grin.

"I heard that kappa, you're gonna be eating fucking lead if you're not careful." Sanzo called from up front.


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (possible Sanzo x Goku...maybe if I can talk my friend into it )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: So they find a restaurant after a while and an amusing conversation is about to start up.

* * *

"I'll pick someplace good!" said Goku happily. Hakkai felt like he might be sick. He could feel the cancer growing in Gojyo's lungs even as they argued.

"Good, I'll give you some credit chimp, you tend to pick out the good places...Sanzo couldn't do it if the world depended on it." Gojyo laughed briefly, stopping before another cough came on. Sanzo -irritated beyond all reason- took his gun out firing it at Gojyo -sure that it wouldn't go near Hakkai or Goku.- "I told you that you'd be eating lead if you weren't careful kappa...don't push me." The priest warned putting the gun away again. Hakkai nodded his apology to the people in the street and was sad that he could feel himself getting exhausted. He gave a huge sigh at the fighting. Gojyo ignored the priest's warning and looked to the healer studying him for a moment after his ears just caught onto that sigh.

"You okay Hakkai?"

"Nothing...just a headache..." said the young man quietly.

"You sure about that? It doesn't look it from where I'm standing." the kappa muttered back to him.

"It's nothing really, just the fighting...I can't take it." Hakkai said... I can't stand thinking you're going to be dead, he thought.

"Shit, sorry man." Gojyo said apologetically. "I didn't realise it,"

Hakkai waved his hand in a gesture that clearly said to let it go. Goku was on the look out for a good restaurant and didn't hear the exchange. "SAAAANZO what about THAT PLACE?!" He yelled to the monk.

"Fine, you don't need to fucking yell bakazaru!" Sanzo yelled back stopping in his tracks. Gojyo threw the monk a small glare, knowing it probably going unnoticed. Hakkai slumped a little further in his chair. Happy they had at least made a selection. Goku pushed him though the door slowly. Gojyo held back a little stopping the monk for a moment.

"I know this is asking a lot of you, your prissyness but...gonna keep your arguing to a minimum at least?"  
"Tch shut up and move your ass kappa." Sanzo muttered, shoving past him. Gojyo sighed a little and followed he could take that as a 'fine'

Sanzo was the one to get someone since it was a bit busy. After getting shown to a table he sat at it waiting for the others to come over to. Goku pushed young man over to the table and sat next to Sanzo clearly excited to be out with everyone again. Hakkai simply stared at his lap. Gojyo sat next to the healer a wide grin on his face -until he saw Hakkai staring of course, his grin faltering a little. "'Kai?"

A young woman came along setting some menu's down on the table and took out a small notepad.

"Can I get any drinks for you sirs?"  
"Sake." Sanzo said simply glancing over to the healer and kappa wondering what was wrong now.

"Oolong tea please ma'm..." said Hakkai not looking at her.

"ME TOO!" said Goku.

Gojyo turned to look at her a put on smile given to her to. "I'll take asahi."  
She nodded jotting the drinks down giving the kappa a flirty smile before turning and walking away. Sanzo couldn't help but smirk at that, stupid kappa would probably resume his usual routine soon. He picked up one of the menu's handing one to the monkey leaving the other two to get their own. Gojyo turned back to the healer, more worried about him than some female flirting with him.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked leaning an elbow on the table top. "Something's bothering you?"

"No Gojyo, I'm just a little tired..." said Hakkai, but he was thinking that this wonderful man beside him would all too soon be dead and gone from his life. It made the wound under the staples and stitches ache to think of this happy charismatic man attached to a respirator fighting for every breath.

"Already? damn..." Gojyo replied before reaching over for one of the menu's for himself and passed the other in front of Hakkai. He opened his own and scanned through it, guessing he wouldn't have to really get anything since Goku would no doubt order the whole thing anyway.

"...I'll be ok, don't worry ne?" He added keeping his voice to a certain level that Hakkai would hear him.

"You're not okay..." said Hakkai solemnly not bothering to open his menu.

"I know...but, try not to think about it ...at the moment at least." replied Gojyo adding a pleading tone to his voice. Hakkai nodded as the ache grew deeper. He turned his head and gave Gojyo one of the most painful fake smiles he had ever seen from the man. "Of course, Gojyo san."

Gojyo could have sworn he didn't like that obvious fake smile of his. He sighed a little. The woman came back after a while notepad in hand   
"What will it be then?"  
Gojyo got the attention when she spoke, and certain kappa clearly couldn't be bothered with the female attempting a stupid flirting session, besides he was way more interested in Hakkai. Goku rambled off a huge list of most everything on the menu doubling some things and Hakkai wondered how the petal of a woman didn't have carpal tunnel by the time it was all done. Sanzo smacked Goku over the head with the fan.

"You gluttonous little ape!" He didn't bother ordering much himself though. Gojyo said a couple of things from the huge list.  
"'Kai? You havin' anything?" Gojyo asked glancing to the healer.

"I'll share with Goku I'm not too hungry thank you miss." Hakkai said up to the waitress.

"Okay...hopefully it won't be too long." She said bowing politely before taking the enormous list through to the kitchen.

Gojyo snorted quietly after the female had gone . "Cheh, that was rather annoying."  
"You're saying you're getting sick of girls, kappa?" Sanzo mused pulling out yet another cigarette and lighting it. Hakkai looked up at the kappa his green eyes wanting an answer as well.


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (possible Sanzo x Goku...maybe if I can talk my friend into it )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: The conversations just aboutta get a lot more interesting...bwaha.

* * *

"NAW not Gojyo..." said Goku happily.

"Well?" Sanzo asked, violet eyes training themselves on the red-head.  
"What the hell's it to you if I am or not, monk?" Gojyo retorted raising a brow at him in question...smirking at him a second later. "Why? You taken an interest in me or something?"

"EEEEWWW" said Goku sticking his tongue out at the kappa. "You're disgusting."

"Tch, hardly...I'd have better taste for a start moron...and you..." Sanzo said and turned to Goku hitting him with the fan again. "Shut up."

Hakkai hid his smile be hind his hand at the exchange. Sanzo was blushing and the healer was amused by this.

"Bakazaru," Gojyo smirked as he got hit. "How the hell did you come to that conclusion anyway?"

"Tch it's not like he hasn't brought that little detail up before idiot." Sanzo snorted really hoping that the blush on his face wasn't drawing much attention.

"And since when did you blush like that pretty boy?" retorted the Kappa, he felt like this was a great opportunity to tease the monk to no end.

"I'm going to kill you." The priest muttered while Gojyo simply sniggered. Hakkai tried not to laugh too hard. He covered his mouth harder and ducked his head.

"Aww, hey wait...if you said you'd have better taste does that mean you actually put thought into that?" Gojyo asked menacingly

"No I...SHUT UP!" He hissed at the kappa nearly falling for that one -since when did that stupid kappa get him that easily?!-

"Haha, ah well you wouldn't be my cup of tea anyway, Sanzo-sama." Gojyo snorted with amusement, glancing up at the monk with one hell of a smirk.

"Oh? And fuck only knows why I'm going to ask...Why would that be?" Sanzo asked pretending it had his interest.

"Simple." the kappa grinned. "I'm not into girls." Silence fell between the Sanzo-Ikkou for a brief moment.

"Wh-You damned kappa! You saying I look feminine?!" Sanzo barked, keeping his tone and voice quiet even he didn't feel like drawing much attention to this little conversation. Gojyo just laughed. Hakkai's stomach hurt he was laughing so hard. Goku was looking confused.

"Men can't have sex!" he practically screamed.

"YAKAMASHI!!!" Sanzo yelled at the boy bringing the fan down on his head yet again. "Keep your voice fucking low stupid monkey!"

Gojyo coughed a couple of times brought on by his laughing. "Well, ya must do...Sanzo, it'd sum up why Goku's always calling you his sun, ne?"

"Shut up you perverted asswipe. Hakkai, how the hell do you put up with that idiot and his remarks?" Sanzo said adding a sigh. Hakkai gave Sanzo a smile.

"Must be his good looks." He began to laugh again quietly.

"Him? Gojyo and good looks don't add up. Are you sure your visions fine?" Sanzo said amused again. Hakkai grinned at him.

"I think even with out my monocle I know that Gojyo is good looking Sanzo-sama but you know best."

"Just what the hell is that suppose to mean?! And since when did you become more cocky than you already were?" asked the monk looking at Gojyo suspiciously.

"Hey don't look at me, I've not been teaching him anything before you start priest. He's just tellin the truth, right 'Kai?"

"I always tell the truth Gojyo." The healer's face went serious as he locked eyes with the kappa. "unless someone forces me to lie."

Gojyo laughed nervously at that, knowing that he had asked him not to say anything to the other two. He gulped down that lump of guilt at the back of his throat to, damn it all.

"I know, I know."

Sanzo threw him a strange look, knowing something had to be going on not that he'd pry or anything...at the moment. Hakkai went back to looking at his lap. Gojyo cursed at himself feeling guilty about making him keep quiet leaning over to him he kept his voice low again.

"I'm sorry 'Kai, I just don't want them fussing over it...not they probably would...well, Goku might...but the monk? hah, maybe in the next era or five.."

Hakkai nodded, "It's fine."

"How about this...I'll tell them later?" Gojyo asked looking to him.

Hakkai shook his head. "I don't want to worry them either."

"Like I said, I doubt the monk would care, hell he'd probably be jumping around with joy knowing he'd be getting rid of one of us for good." The redhead said with a sarcastic tone, though he could imagine him doing just that actually. Hakkai's eyes were pained at that,

"Then don't worry about him...I'll never do that."

"I rarely do Hakkai. I worry about you more than those two, and I know you'd never do that."

"Sanzo will mourn you...he just...doesn't know how."

"Hmmm, probably. Who knows, stupid priest is too unpredictable in that sense." He muttered looking up as a bottle and glass got placed in front of him. "Oh, drinks are here."

"Sorry to keep you waiting, it is a bit busy as you can tell...food should be on it's way soon though." The waitress said before moving away to attend another table.

"I bet you'll be outta here before the nights through kappa." Sanzo said with a smirk pouring himself some sake.

"Hah, shows how much you know." The kappa retorted not looking up at the monk. Hakkai sipped at his tea with a bemused smile on his face.

"You saying you have better things to do for once...and here I thought chasing tarts was your specialty." The priest snorted with great amusement raising a brow.

"I was always rather picky when it came to that, but yeah, if you must know I do have better things to do." He grinned while casting a side glance to Hakkai. Hakkai did look surprised at this. "Like what?"

"Come on Kappa, enlighten us all." Sanzo added, waiting patiently as the other two for Gojyo to tell them. Gojyo looked back to the monk, his face totally straight as he replied.

"Well, for a start there's Hakkai."

Hakkai choked on his tea. "Excuse me?" His heart leapt in his chest. Sanzo followed the choking reaction example as he choked on his sake. "What? You perv!"

The kappa kept that grin on his face, knowing that he'd probably get that reaction if he only said part of the sentence, not that he was complaining if he'd left it there...which could be interesting?

"You heard me." Gojyo stated simply as Hakkai stared at Gojyo his mouth open. Goku was laughing.

"Gojyo's in love with HAKKAI!"

"And what may I ask is so hilarious about it chimp?" the red-head asked casually raising a brow at the monkey.

"Because Hakkai's a GUY!"

Hakkai stared into his tea with a blush.

"And you're a brainless monkey...you're point being exactly?" grinned Gojyo menacingly. Sanzo simply snorted and shook his head, he chose to stay out of it...unless it got too much for his nerves.

"Well you can't love a guy..." Goku said. "That's weird."

"You keep telling yourself that pipsqueak." Gojyo snorted looking away from him with a shrug. Sanzo rolled his eyes, geez.

"Bakazaru...love doesn't just occur between male and female."

"What?" Goku's eyes got huge. "Really? You mean like I love you Sanzo?"

Hakkai ducked his head to keep his smile hidden. Gojyo burst out laughing after seeing the monks face turn red again.

"What?" Sanzo stared at Goku for a moment, hand itching for the gun instead of the fan.

Goku's golden eyes widened further..."I love you, you didn't know?"

There was silence as they looked at and watched Sanzo, the monk looked like he was ready for putting a bullet through their heads…not just Goku's.

"..." He reached for the gun and aimed it at the monkey. "I'm going to kill you..."

Gojyo laughed more now, though stopped abruptly when he noted the gun trained on him.

"And I'm going to kill you for passing on that pervert aura you have."

Hakkai waved his hands. "Don't be silly, I'm sure Goku didn't mean that the way it sounded."

Goku stared at all of them. "Sanzo's the only one of you I'd have sex with..."

"or maybe he does..." said Hakkai.

Goku's comment sent Gojyo back into a laughing fit. Sanzo though hit Goku harder than usual with the fan cursing at him before getting up and leaving to have some 'me' time in the bathroom.

"OWWW," said Goku rubbing his head. "I'm gonna go after him." He scrambled over the table before they could say anything. "Don't eat my food GOJYO!"

"Yeah yeah, I'll eat it after he's killed you for disturbing his mood." Gojyo called after him, turning to Hakkai afterwards. "I sure as hell didn't expect the monkey to come away with any of that."

"He's so innocent." Hakkai laughed. "We forget he is an adult."

"Yeah add the fact he's technically older than the three of us put together ne? And I swear I never mentioned anything in that department to him..."

Hakkai smiled, "He's very smart Gojyo. I'm sure he learned it on his own."

"Tell that to Sanzo, he tried to blame it on me." Gojyo smirked a little.

Hakkai's smile grew. "I don't know if Sanzo will be THAT upset about it."

"Hah, probably not, if you ask me...It might just be what that monk needs ne?"

Hakkai's smile reached his eyes. "Never know."

Gojyo sniggered a little bringing a hand to cover his mouth as he coughed at the same time. He brought his hand away after tasting an all to familiar metallic in his mouth, nothing resembling blood was on his hand though. He shrugged it off. "Damn it, I'm hungry..." He muttered looking to Hakkai. "You're having some fun at least right?"


	11. Chapter 11

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (possible Sanzo x Goku...maybe if I can talk my friend into it )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: Hakkai's feeling guilty, Gojyo's still feeling guilty and just when you thought things were on the road to getting better...demons attack.

* * *

Hakkai was staring at him pain in his eyes. "I wish I could help."

Gojyo shook his head lightly. "It's okay, who knows, even if you could...it still might not be treatable."

"You're in pain..." said Hakkai reaching out for his hand. "It hurts me to see you this way."

"I'm sorry 'kai...I know it must. I was the same." The kappa said in reply lifting his hand a little for Hakkai to reach over easier. The man took his hand and kissed it gently. "You're too kind to die this way...I would trade places with you if I could, in an instant."

Hakuryu made a small noise from his lap, annoyed at being ignored. Hakkai stroked his head lightly with his free hand. Gojyo blushed faintly at Hakkai kissing his hand, though shook his head again to the last part of his words. "I wouldn't want anyone to trade places with me with what I have, you more so."

"You shouldn't have smoked so much...I know...when we lived together, I hinted more than once for you to stop."

Gojyo let a dry laugh slip his mouth. "I know, and me being me was too stubborn to do that." he smiled apologetically to him. Hakkai let go of his hand and hung his head and shoulders as his back ached.

"Are you ok 'Kai?"

"Tired..." said the man quietly.

"You've been tired for a while ne? Why not take a nap? I don't think the foods coming just yet...and I don't think the other two will either."

"I don't know if I dare sleep, when I wake maybe you'll have run from me."

"Hmm? And why would I wanna do that?"

"I don't know..." said Hakkai as he felt sleep coming over him. Suddenly something stirred in the back of his mind. "Youkai..." He snapped his head up to look at Gojyo. "There are youkai coming!"

"Youkai? You sure? I'm not sensing any..." at least he was thinking he couldn't sense any? Goku came running from the bathroom. "Sanzo says YOUKAI are coming!" This threw the store into a panic. People ran everywhere in a desperate attempt to escape.

Okay so maybe there were Youkai coming. "Way to send everyone into a panic saru." Gojyo called over. "Just leave it to us three, right 'kai?"

"Tch, what a fucking time for the idiot squad to turn up when they're not wanted." muttered the priest emerging from the bathroom loading the gun. Hakkai felt dread rise in his stomach, he was useless as he was.

xxGenjyoSanzoxx: The window of the restaurant was smashed in a few moments later, and one fairly large demon forced his way through the wreckage.

"Give us the scripture or die Genjyo Sanzo!"

"Tch, Like hell I'm going to do as a demon says." Sanzo said aiming the gun at the youkai.

"You think they'd come up with better lines after all this time...wouldn't you say?" Gojyo asked rhetorically after summoning his shakujou. Goku smirked and summoned nyoi-bou. "Let's kick some ASS! They interrupted my DINNER!"

"Hah, just yours?" asked the kappa with a grin.

"Goku and I can handle these ones, maybe you should stay put and watch Hakkai's ass for a change." Sanzo said, not realising it could be taken more than one way, not that he was caring how they took it of course. Gojyo smirked at that.

"I guess I could do that."

Hakkai bent lower in his chair over the dragon, he hated being a burden. Goku attacked the horde with a cry of happiness. Sanzo shot at the demons like the little trigger-happy priest he was, While Gojyo was left to deal with the remainder that had been left for him, the blade of the shakujou cutting through a couple.

Hakkai gave a cry as one got through Gojyo's defence. He put up his arms but got the full brunt of a club to his head. The hit was so hard it sent him stumbling out of his chair. Hakuryu fluttered into the air in fear. Gojyo turned at the cry, cursing himself yet again. He swung the weapon towards the offending demon making sure the blade hit it dead on the head as well as hitting a few others in the process. He went over to the healer standing over him while he finished off the remaining few. "Shit...'Kai? " He muttered to him, Hakkai did not stir at the call of his name.

"Great, now I'll never hear the end of it from those two..." The kappa grumbled getting rid of the ones he'd been left with. He panted slightly kneeling down beside the healer trying to stir him awake. "Damnit, wake up...Hakkai," The young man didn't move.

"GOJYO! WHAT HAPPENED?!" Goku asked running to Hakkai's side.

"One of them managed to slip by me and got a hit in on him." Gojyo replied summarising it up for him.

"Typical kappa..." muttered the priest coming next to them." Can't you do anything right?"

The young man stirred with a groan on the floor. Luckily for the priest the groan had got Gojyo's attention before he layed into the monk with a fist for that comment.

"Hakkai? You ok?" He asked, hinting the concern in his voice.

"Help him up!" Goku bent down to take one arm.

"I'M GONNA'!" The kappa snapped. He took Hakkai's other arm helping him up. Hakkai moaned as he was lifted back into his chair. He held his head.

"'Kai?? You okay? I'm really, really sorry...I never saw him slip by me." Gojyo apologised to him, looking at him with concern. Hakkai looked at him blearily clearly trying to focus. He thought he might be sick. He groaned and felt himself fainting again.

"Geez, you had better hope he remembers something other than your name when he comes to fully..." Sanzo warned the kappa glaring up at him, clearly blaming it all on him. "Tch let's go. We need to get him back to the hospital now!"


	12. Chapter 12

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (possible Sanzo x Goku...maybe if I can talk my friend into it )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: And so they're on their way back to the hospital, and things go from bad to looking worse again for Hakkai.

* * *

"I'm not explaining this to Doctor Tam..." said Goku with a frown.

"Neither of us are Goku, that's Gojyo's job." Sanzo stated pointedly.

"Yeah, yeah shut the fuck up you morons, it's my fault again I get it so just shut up already." Gojyo muttered lowly his eyes shadowed over by those long crimson tresses. Goku backed up the wheelchair and pushed it out the door and toward the hospital. Sanzo and Gojyo followed him. Gojyo wasn't quite in the mood for saying much at all. It was an accident yet Sanzo seemed to be making it more than it was. When they approached the hospital, the doctor greeted them at the door, "Your dragon beat you here, What happened?"

Goku growled and looked back at Gojyo, "Idiot back there couldn't protect him, we got attacked by youkai. I didn't see what happened, why don't you explain it GOJYO?!"

The doctor looked to the kappa confused at the anger.

"Don't try and scold me you stupid chimp!" Gojyo answered Goku with a harsh growl before looking up at the doctor with a sigh explaining himself.

"We got attacked by some youkai while we were out...one got by me and managed to hit Hakkai somewhere, he ended up on the floor...It was an accident!" He said while throwing a glare in Goku's general direction as well as Sanzo's. The doctor looked to the nurse beside him.

"Sandra, take him to the ICU. You three can wait in the first floor waiting room."

"Aa," Replied the kappa sauntering past them knowing where to go by now. Sanzo rolled his eyes, stupid kappa. "Come on Goku..." He muttered to the boy walking on ahead of him.

Sanzo, Gojyo and Goku sat in the waiting room not saying a word to each other, Sanzo got up occasionally to take a cigarette…threatening the two every time he left the room. The doctor came back some hours later. "He had intracranial bleeding..." said the white coated man quietly. Sanzo opened a single violet eye towards the kappa, that wasn't going to go down well he guessed from the reaction he saw. Gojyo looked to say the least a little paler than usual. "Shit...is he okay?"

"We had to operate to get out the blood, and I'm afraid we had to shave off his hair. He'll have a rather nasty scar, but we managed to suture the haemorrhage. But again, you're playing with fire here. He'll be in minimal pain should he awaken, but you're looking at major pressure on the brain here...he may never recover...but he did it once. Do not loose all hope. You can see him now if you wish. But keep your voices down." He gestured to a nurse. "Show them to Cho Hakkai's room please?"

She nodded and went to lead them to the room. Gojyo wished he hadn't been so freaking careless and nearly objected about going to see the healer not thinking he could handle it at all, until Sanzo had somehow managed to read him like a book and sent him a glare warning him not to think about not going. He gave in with a nod avoiding all eye contact with the monk and monkey as he followed the nurse to the room.

Sanzo motioned for Goku to follow to. "As much as I hate to say it, we give him hell after we're outta here." He muttered.

"I think he's in enough pain..." said Goku. "What if it were me who just had surgery?"

"I never meant literally." He rolled his eyes again and never said much after it.

"Don't give him hell..." said Goku. "It's really sad."

"Bakazaru, I'm not going to. Now shut up already."

Hakkai looked even more pathetic than before...his pale cheek bones stood out starkly on his face with out his hair. A large scar ran over the back of his head. Goku hid his face in Sanzo's robes at the sight. Sanzo looked at Hakkai, letting Goku hide for a moment before nudging him to let go of his robes. He noticed Gojyo was also having a bit of trouble with keeping his eyes on the healer when he was like this. Goku backed up from Sanzo but held onto his robes with his head down.

"He looks dead..." said the monkey quietly.

"Hm," was all Sanzo replied to him. "Don't say that to him." He added later just as quietly. Gojyo looked like he was about to turn to go back out the room. Hakkai's eyes opened suddenly and gave a gasp that scared all of them out of their skins. Sanzo suddenly felt like a hiding post now that Gojyo had unexpectedly come closer to his side as though to hide behind him. The young man saw them apparently.

"Gojyo..." he moaned piteously. Gojyo seemed a little hesitant now, Sanzo of course helping him at least by shoving him forward. "H-Hakkai?" the kappa replied.

"Not your fault Gojyo..." said the healer softly his hand out as if he wanted desperately to be touched.

"Don't be so forgiving Hakkai...it is." Gojyo replied his own eyes looking a little pained that he was being forgiven too easily, he edged closer to the healers side, his own hand reaching out to touch the healers. Hakkai put a hand to his chest and summoned as much chi as he could to seek out the tumours in Gojyo's lungs. The effort did not go unnoticed by his heart monitor which began to beep madly.

Gojyo glanced down at the hand on his chest the beeping startled the kappa something stupid as he literally jumped back out of the touch. "damned noisy machine..." he noted how stupid that had sounded.

"Hakkai, save your chi for now ne..." and of course he forgot to note that Hakkai just tried to use chi. Sanzo looked at them.

"I can fix it..." said Hakkai dimly. "Let me..." His hand fell.

"Later on...not now,"

"Fix what, Gojyo?" the priest questioned quietly, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. He knew there'd been something going on that he didn't know about. Gojyo said nothing to the priest, his bangs falling over his eyes as he looked pleadingly at Hakkai.

"Cancer..." said Hakkai for him. "Please Gojyo, it won't hurt..."

"What?" Sanzo's eyes widened a little, more in shock than disbelief and looked at Goku to see if he'd heard what he heard. He turned his head back to the kappa, why the fuck had that idiot not said anything to them? Why did Hakkai know and not them? Gojyo winced inwardly getting the feeling they were gonna say something to him when they got the chance.

"Cheh…yeah…you heard him monk, just shut up" Gojyo muttered looking to Hakkai again after glancing to the monk. "I can wait until you recover a bit more..."

"NO..." said Hakkai forcefully. "Please..."

"Gojyo..." Sanzo said in a warning tone, looking at the kappa with a hardened stare, this was the last thing he needed to deal with. "Let him do it you goddamned idiot...or I'll kill you myself."

"Ch...all right, don't use all your chi on me..." Gojyo sighed inching closer to the healer's side again. Hakkai closed his eyes and went deep into the tissue he dissolved the tumours into nothing the heart monitor was beeping out of control. Gojyo stood still looking down at the healer, trying to ignore the beeping for the moment, waiting until Hakkai had finished healing his lungs.

The doctor came bursting into the room moments later. "What is going on here?!"

That made Gojyo jump away from the touch again. Sanzo turned to the doctor saving Gojyo from having to explain this time.

"Hakkai...insists on healing Gojyo...he must've remembered how to use his chi energy." He said simply.

"He needs all his energy to survive..." said the Doctor his eyes wide. "Hakkai-san, what were you thinking?" Hakkai's eyes were closed however.

"fucknotagain." Gojyo muttered lowly to himself turning back to see the healers eyes were closed. He must have really done it this time for being the idiot and giving into the two of them. The monitor beeped weakly then flickered and died.

"GET OUT!" roared the doctor. "NURSE CRASH CART!"

Sanzo had to drag the kappa out of the room, taking hold of Goku at the same time.

"HAKKAI!" Goku screamed as he was pulled from the room. The nurse pushed past them as they stood in the window to watch The doctor opened Hakkai's shirt where Patel burns already were evident on the pale chest from his first encounter with them. "Clear!" The body jerked and Goku flinched and hid again in Sanzo's robes. This time he let Goku hide, he doubted any of them wanted to see that, well Gojyo was staring…but obviously not at where they were trying to shock his heart back to life.

Hakkai's face remained slack and dead and the dreadful heart monitor sustained it's loud warning. "Up the volts..." said the doctor. "CLEAR!" He hit Hakkai's body again and again it lurched violently up.

Gojyo looked away. "He's not gonna pull through this time is he?"

"Moron, you're going to think like that after he pulled that little stunt off?! and why the fuck did you not tell us?"

Gojyo ignored the last question and went back to watching. Goku began to cry.

"Up the volts!" said the doctor. "CLEAR!" one more jump and the monitor started up again weakly. "Get him on life support and clear those men out of here please..." said the doctor.

Sanzo turned to Goku hearing the sobbing chimp at his side a small sigh and he did what he'd rarely do to the boy and placed an arm around his shoulders comfortingly. He glanced at the kappa, he seemed to be close to letting something loose yet trying his damndest to restrain it. "Come on, let's go..."

Goku looked up long enough to take Gojyo's hand in his. All they could do now was to hope and wait for word of their friend.

At the Inn, Sanzo left Goku in their room and strode to the water sprites room, opening the door and lit up a cigarette. Gojyo sat at the window looking out at the sky it was growing late.  
"What the hell do you want monk…come to lecture me?" Gojyo snorted leering at the monks reflection in the window. Sanzo made a scoffing noise and wandered over to sit on the bed, it was most unlike him to come and visit the kappa let alone wanting to find out why he hadn't told him or the monkey about his condition.

"You should know what the fuck this is about Gojyo."

"Should I? Enlighten me oh Illustrious one, I don't believe I do know why the hell you've came here. Your beloved monkey is in the other room."

"What was that? You goddamned perverted sprite! Tch… The cancer you moron, why did Hakkai mention it only then? Why not earlier? And WHY didn't you say anything?!" Sanzo asked with anger hinted in his voice.

"Why you ask? Since when did you fucking give a damn? I thought you'd be over the fucking moon!"

"You're a fucking idiot! I hate to break it to you kappa but even I, am not that fucking heartless."

"Hah, you coulda' fooled me ya stu- OW HEY!" Gojyo yelled rubbing his tendered head with his hand, damn that was gonna leave a mark. Sanzo tapped the fan in his palm threateningly.  
"Cut the bullshit Gojyo, Why didn't you have the balls to tell Goku and I?"

"If you must fucking know…I just…didn't want to say…to anyone…not even Hakkai."

"So, you would have just deteriorated away to nothing and not say anything then just die, yeah that's really fucking smart of you, asswipe."

"Shut up, It's not like you'd care, or the monkey! I'd have told Hakkai…I was going to tell him…after he got better, he wouldn't be putting his own life at risk then."

"You're an idiot…keep that in mind. Goku would most likely be devastated…as for me…Tch, you really don't know anything… I'm going to go see how Goku is. I don't think we should visit Hakkai until we get word from the doctor." Sanzo said turning to exit the room.

"Yeah, yeah…." Replied Gojyo returning his attention to back outside the window. Sanzo left the room and returned to his own.


	13. Chapter 13

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (possible Sanzo x Goku...maybe if I can talk my friend into it )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: Gojyo and Sanzo are at the hospital, Sanzo has to threaten sense into the kappa.

* * *

Days later the doctor still wouldn't let them in to see their friend. Gojyo's ache in his lungs was replaced with one in his heart. He needed to tell Hakkai he loved him. He hadn't smoked since Hakkai had healed him, feeling too guilty to do so. He sat in the waiting room with stubble on his face and dark circles under his eyes.

Sanzo opened the door to the waiting room coming in from a smoke. He took one look at the kappa inwardly thinking the he might just be the next to wind up in a hospital bed if he wasn't careful. "Tch you look like a mess kappa."

"Piss off," Gojyo's voice was gruff with disuse.

"I'm not going to take orders from you." He muttered in reply leaning against the wall. "Moping around isn't going to help him any."

"I'm not moping pin-dick. I'm waiting to talk to him."

"Tch...and Goku and I aren't? Just how much sleep have you been getting anyway baka?"

"None of your business jerk." Gojyo put his head in his hands. Sanzo rolled his eyes. "You haven't been getting any, have you? stupid watersprite."

"No...and what does it matter anyway. I have to tell him..." Gojyo put his head in his arms. "I can't leave here, if there's a change, I want to know."

"Idiot, it doesn't mean you can't fucking sleep!" The priest said raising his voice a little to him. "You're just going to end up making yourself sick again."

"It does mean I can't sleep. Because this is my fault and if anything happens to him and I'm not here..."

Tch...and what's Hakkai going to think if he wakes up and sees you like that? Use your brain for once if you can find it."

"I don't know what he'll think but I have to say I'm sorry."

Sanzo shook his head a little, why did that stupid water sprite have to be so stubborn? He got off the wall, arms crossing his chest as he walked over, stopping in front of him. "I'm only going to tell you once... if I have to tell you more than once I'll kill you... get some fucking sleep. I don't care where you sleep or how long for, but get some or else."

"I have to stay up for him, this is all I can do."

"Gojyo..." He muttered warningly, those violet eyes glaring at him. Gojyo fell into the monk unable to hold up his head any longer. Sanzo caught the kappa, sitting him up on the chair.

"Damned moron, you're really going to do more damage to yourself if you're not fucking careful." Gojyo's red eyes were slits as he stared at Sanzo,

"You'll, wake me if something happens."

"It's not like I'm going anywhere..." The priest muttered, sitting next to Gojyo. "Now shut up and get sleep already...or do I need to knock you out?" He added getting comfy on the seat. Gojyo leaned his head over on Sanzo's shoulder and was out instantly.

Sanzo shifted his eyes to the hanyou for a moment then away again. "Don't ever say I'm not generous kappa." He muttered, closing his own eyes to take a nap keeping alert at the same time.

Hakkai was dead. There was nothing to be done. He was like a skeleton and shrivelled and tired looking. He had died during the night and Gojyo felt like his heart might fall out of his chest as he stared at the emaciated young man.

He jerked awake with a cry.

Sanzo was brought abruptly out of his napping state his head turning to the kappa. "What the fuck is wrong with you now?!" He barked at him.

"He's dead!" Gojyo's blood red eyes were wide. "He died, I didn't get to tell him I loved him."

"What? What nonsense are you babbling about? Stop being an idiot,"

Gojyo looked panicked, not quite awake yet. He grabbed onto Sanzo's arm. "I've got to see him."

Sanzo backed up a little, what a time for him to go like this. He tried removing his arm from the kappa's grasp.

"You know you can't! Calm the fuck down now!" He warned in a hiss. Gojyo let him go and stood walking hurriedly out the room. He ran down the corridor toward Hakkai's room.

"GOJYO!" He yelled after him, getting up seconds later and ran after him, somehow managing to catch up to the kappa and grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Baka! What part of we CAN'T see him yet don't you fucking get?!"

Gojyo punched him hard in the nose. "No TIME."

Sanzo gritted his teeth forcing himself to deal with the pain, then again it was nothing compaired to some of the pain he'd dealt with before.

"You ...bastard!" He growled going to strike the kappa across the face with the back of his hand with force. "I told you to calm the fuck down so do it!"

"He's going to DIE, let me SEE HIM!" Gojyo screamed as he twisted in the smaller man's grip.

"GOJYO! STOP IT!" The monk yelled, grabbing at the kappa's other arm and forcing him up against the wall glaring up at him. "For love of god CALM THE FUCK DOWN! He's NOT going to fucking DIE!" He tightened his grip on the kappa, the idiot needed to calm down. Doctor Tam came out of his office looking at the pair, "What's the problem here?"

"This idiots went into a fucking panic, that's what." Sanzo answered without taking his gaze off the hanyou. Gojyo looked at the doctor desperately with his dark rimmed eyes. "I've got to see him, please."

Sanzo let his arms go turning to the doctor not saying anything. The doctor looked at them both, and nodded "Very well."

The doctor led them to the room and left them to it. Sanzo stood near the entrance arms folded across his chest again as he just watched the kappa. Gojyo was glad they had given Hakkai a dark blue hat to cover his head.

"Hakkai...I love you." He took the thin hand in his own. "And if you never wake up, I need you to know...I quit smoking..." Tears came to his eyes. Sanzo went over eventually standing beside him looking down at the healers face. "He'll wake up."

Gojyo wiped at his tears, "He won't. We got one miracle. You don't get two."

"You're going to give up on him, just like that? Sometimes you don't get any miracles Gojyo."

"I know that..." Gojyo said. "Look at him, he's living off machines."

"You can still hope...you're stronger than this you moron."

"I know how strong I am...he's...he looks so helpless. Not even when I found him did he look this bad."

"If you know then act it. He's pulled through many things...life threatening and non-life threatening in the past, this is no different..." The monk looked to him. "It's you that's got to believe that though."

"And what if I believe that an' he dies?" Gojyo was angry now. "How DARE you lecture me on this mister 'hold-nothing'."

"Tch, think too negatively moron and he might just die on you," Sanzo muttered.

He snorted turning his eyes back onto the healer. "Then again this was your entire fault to begin with..." He added, of course he knew the kappa would get angry...but at the same time maybe it would help a bit if he did. Gojyo didn't get any angrier he just stared at Hakkai.

"I know why he did it now. Why he tried to kill himself."

"Oh? And why did he do it?" Sanzo asked wanting to hear Gojyo say it.

"I broke his heart," said Gojyo. "I took something beautiful and twisted it and broke it right over his head. He thought he lost me..."

"Took you long enough to figure that out." Sanzo said glancing to him. "And with you actually obeying him walking away when he'd asked would have worsened it."

Gojyo hung his head. "I know."

"What's happened, has happened... and there's nothing you can do but accept it. When Hakkai wakes up I really doubt he'd want to see you like that..." He muttered.

"He shouldn't want to see me at all."

"Don't start that shit, Gojyo. Would he have been so persistent to heal you even though he knew it could kill him if he didn't want to see you at all?!"

The doctor came in. "You need to leave now..." he checked the monitors. "That can't be right..."

"What can't be right?" Sanzo questioned before he would leave.

"He's not in a coma anymore. He's sleeping..." he looked at Gojyo. "You said you love him?" The Kappa nodded. "Stay with him then."

The priest turned and left the room silently, maybe he should go find that saru now.


	14. Chapter 14

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (possible Sanzo x Goku...maybe if I can talk my friend into it )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: Hakkai's woke up and Gojyo talks to him, talkin about a day out.

* * *

Hakkai's green eyes opened to slits to look at the kappa. The kappa looked down at him locking his gaze with the healers. "Hakkai..?"

The doctor came between them checking Hakkai's eyes with his pen light. The tubes in Hakkai's throat made it impossible for him to speak anyway.

"He seems all right..." The doctor shook his head. "Talk to him and see if you can't get some kind of response."

Gojyo nodded to the doctor. "Sure..." He looked over the healers figure briefly before re-locking his gaze with those green gems. "Are you...feeling okay 'Kai?" He asked...probably a stupid question. The green eyes sparkled at him brightly.

He reached a hand out to gently touch his face. "I...I'm...not gonna, nearly lose you again am I?" He had to ask it, he didn't want to. Hakkai pulled at the tube in his throat.

"Hakkai, don't pull at it..." Gojyo placed a hand over the healers making it stop pulling at the tube. The man still weakly pulled at it. He wanted to say something but he couldn't with the tube in. The doctor pulled a hypodermic out of a drawer. "Pull on that and I'll have to put you under."

Hakkai stopped pulling. Gojyo felt himself flinch at the doctors words slightly, he couldn't bear another long wait for Hakkai to wake up.

"You can say whatever you want later...just give me a yes or no through sign or something...right?" He said quietly. The doctor rolled his eyes. "One blink for yes two for no..."

"That works I guess." Gojyo muttered looking to the side then back. "Did you...hear anything Sanzo and I were saying?"

Hakkai blinked twice, no he hadn't. His eyes looked for Sanzo.

"Sanzo left. Ne, 'Kai...can you forgive me for being an idiot?"

Hakkai's eyebrows drew up in the middle, clearly saying he wasn't an idiot. He didn't blink. He studied that look for a moment. "Are you sayin' I ain't one?"

Hakkai blinked once, yes. That was what he meant.

"Yeah? Well I sure as hell feel like one, but I guess if you say I'm not then I'll go with that." He let a small smile onto his face. Hakkai smiled around the tube.

"You needa get better, hanging around those two is no fun at all you know." The kappa said with a smirk he was trying to hold back some tears of happiness. Hakkai blinked once in affirmative his eyes tearing as well.

"Love...you..." he croaked out around the tube.

"I love... you too." That smirk he had grew wider into another smile, feeling a single tear slip. Hakkai blinked once. as his tears slipped down his face. Gojyo wiped at the tears with the back of his hand.

"I'm not gonna let you go ever again you know that."

Hakkai nodded at him. Gojyo smiled wider at him before turning his head to look at the doctor. "Hey, doc...how long will it probably be till he can get outta here?"

"Depends...he's still quite weak, but barring any youkai attacks, it shouldn't be too long."

"Wakatta," He turned back to the healer. "What's the betting that monk will want to be back on the road as soon as your outta here?"

Hakkai smiled around the tube taped to his face.

"Not that I'll let him talk you into it," smirked the kappa.

Hakkai's brown turned into a frown, clearly upset at this.

"Don't gimme that look 'Kai. If you're not up to it, I'm not gonna let you push yourself." Gojyo said to him, looking at him with a stubborn look.

Hakkai made an effort to stick out his tongue that was largely unsuccessful.

Gojyo laughed a little. "Betcha'll be glad to have that tube out your throat so you can do that properly ne?"

Hakkai blinked yes and glared fake daggers at the kappa. "Heheh," Gojyo smirked and leaned down to the healer so he could talk quieter. "I wouldn't pull that face, 'Kai...I might just get turned on by it." He stood up straight again with a large grin pasted across his lips, he looked back down at him to see his reaction. Hakkai's eyes went wide for a moment then he tried to stick his tongue out again.

"Hmm you think I'm joking about that?" asked Gojyo keeping that widening grin in place on his face. Hakkai gaped. Even with the tube in it was a rather obvious look of startled.

"Hehe, nah. I control myself more than you think." The kappa gave him a playful wink. "You still feeling a bit tired at all?" Hakkai just stared, had Gojyo admitted he was turned on by HIM?

"Haaakkaaai?" Gojyo canted his head to the side. "You okay?" asked the healer, waving a hand in front of him. Hakkai blinked once. He was okay, just stunned.

"Good," He said stretching a little. "You tired?" He asked again remembering he never got a reply the first time he asked. Hakkai blinked twice. No he didn't want to close his eyes and miss looking at Gojyo for a second.

"Okay, If you get tired then sleep ne? You still need rest." He said putting on that serious face of his for a moment. Hakkai glared. Clearly angry he was being misinterpreted, he blinked twice again. Gojyo smiled sheepishly maybe a little nervous there for a reason he couldn't pinpoint, it could have been the glare. "Okay, okay...Hakkai?"

The man looked at him asking 'what?' with his eyes.

"Please don't glare like that ne?" He said referring to what he'd just said about 'pulling that face' earlier. Hakkai tried to laugh and gagged on the tube so he fought to keep the laugh down. The kappa laughed a little. "Gomen, should keep those jokes for when you don't have that in your mouth, hmm?" He said...looking thoughtful a moment later. Hakkai's eyes went back to questioning the thoughtfulness.

Gojyo caught the questioning look in his eye that sheepish smile coming back to his face. "I'll tell you later on." Hakkai nodded looking thoughtful himself.

"Ne, I think when you get outta here Goku might just pester Sanzo to take us to one of those restaurants again...or I might do that." Gojyo sniggered. "Or I could persuade the monk to lend me that card and the two of us could go out?"

Hakkai smiled gently at the idea.


	15. Chapter 15

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (possible Sanzo x Goku...maybe if I can talk my friend into it )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: Gojyo's happy, Sanzo's gonna kill a certain kappa and Goku's cookin' dinner. Hakkai's out of hospital and out for a walk with Gojyo when things start to get hectic again.

* * *

A week and few days later and the doctor had given the group word that Hakkai was doing well and was free to leave the hospital to rejoin his friends. Gojyo, Sanzo and Goku had been out all day deciding what to get for supplies since they'd be staying a couple of extra days.

Gojyo had one hell of a smile on his face, feeling quite good with himself after persuading the monk to loan his card to him for the day, today since the healer was getting out finally. He stopped just outside the hospital entrance looking to the other two. "Oi, are you two coming in?"  
Sanzo shook his head and took out a cigarette to emphasise his answer. "The monkey can go in with you."

"Naw," said Goku. "You guys go ahead, I'm gonna cook tonight me and Sanzo just got groceries..." He grinned up at the blushing monk.

"Sou ne," Gojyo grinned a little looking at Goku. "Better you cooking than him I guess." He sniggered from the look Sanzo gave him.  
"Me?! You're the WORST cook ever kappa! Don't you even think of grouping myself with you." Sanzo snapped back.   
"Yeahhhhh yeah, you two run along and...have 'fun'" The kappa grinned slyly.  
"...I'll kill you."

Goku looked up at Sanzo. "What did he mean?"

"He'll tell you when you're older Goku. He always says that." said Gojyo as he turned to go into the building, waving to them as he did so. He went straight to the room Hakkai was in-naturally-.  
"...One of these fucking days I will put a hole through that perverted mind of his..." The priest muttered turning to face the monkey after exhaling some smoke.

"...He meant go have fun cooking. Tch, it's not that hard to figure out monkey..." He added and walked on ahead.

"Oh okay," Goku accepted the answer.

"Just do me a favour and never ask that pervert what he meant." Sanzo added as an afterthought.

Gojyo opened the room door after knocking on it a couple of times. "Oi, Hakkai?"

"Hello Gojyo," said Hakkai with a smile. His hat was still in place and he was reading a book.

"You all set for gettin' outta here?" Gojyo asked, sauntering on over to him looking to the book he was reading. "Whatcha' readin?"

"Oh this?" Hakkai looked at the cover. "A book about quantum physics, you interested?"

Gojyo laughed. "Sounds interestin' 'Kai but I'll leave the reading to you, ne?" He grinned again. "Did you sleep well?"

"Oh yes, thank you Gojyo."

"Good, s'what I like to hear. Hey, do you remember me saying I could persuade that monk to gimme that gold card of his a while ago? Well…I managed to get it, even though I hadda make sure I missed flying bullets and fan whacks in the process."

Hakkai laughed politely at this. "Sounds like a harrowing adventure."

"Oh it was, guess you could even say I got my hair cut while I was at it." Gojyo joked, well partly… The monk had managed to make his hair look uneven at some parts by blasting bits off with the bullets. Hakkai smiled.

"You really shouldn't joke about that, you have lovely hair."

"You think so?" Gojyo asked rhetorically. "Well if you think I do then that's what matters." the kappa smiled. "Where is it you want to go today anyway? Anywhere in particular ooorrr just wherever the path leads sorta walk? Goku and Sanzo won't be with us."

"I'd just like a walk, if that's okay with you?"

"Sure, s'fine with me 'Kai. We can get goin whenever you're ready."

Hakkai reached out for his arm for help to stand. Gojyo took hold of his arm helping him to stand up. "Oh yeah, the priests not said anything about heading west as soon as or anything...maybe he's being thoughtful about things for once." Hakkai laughed again.

"I wonder if he's sick

"Maybe, either that or he knows I'll attempt to kick his ass if he did go on about it...hehe…hmm, shall we then good lookin'?"

Hakkai ducked his head to hide his blush. "yes of course."

"Okay, you needa tell the doctor we're off or anythin' I never saw him when I got here? " Gojyo asked stopping just outside the door. "Oi Hakkai, you're spacin' out." He gave him a small peck on the cheek and grinned slightly.

"No I"m free to walk..." He shook out of his thoughts. "Sorry."

"S'ok, anything in particular on your mind?" Gojyo asked continuing to walk on again, quickly thinking of anywhere they could randomly go in the town.

"No not really, happy to be out."

"I'm glad you're out, means we get more...aloonnee time ne?" He said looking to him with that mischievous look on his face.

Once they got outside the kappa looked at the few paths they could take. Which way, one to the main part of the town or to the quieter area? Not that there was much to take in going the quieter area.

"Hmm? Which way? And don't say whichever way I want."

Hakkai leaned his head on Gojyo's shoulder. "I want what you want."

"Ooohh?" Gojyo grinned looking to him briefly glancing at one of the paths. "Okay, let's go this way ne? I know of a place we could go get something to eat. You hungry?"

"Not overly, how are your lungs?"

"They feel fine to me...I hope they're fine at least." He said with a small smile. He walked on, taking Hakkai's hand while he was at it. The healer put a hand to his chest and closed his eyes, trusting that Gojyo wouldn't let him run into anything as he searched the organs.

"You're good." He looked up at Gojyo with a smile. "I'm glad you stopped smoking."

Gojyo made sure he didn't run into anything and returned the smile. "Yeah, guess you could say I saw sense at last hm? And the last thing I needed was you lot worrying over me." He looked up at the sky quickly predicting the weather for later, it should be fine. "And I'm not gonna go back to it." He added after turning back and looking to him again. "Hakkai? You're not uh...cold or anythin' are ya?"

"No not today..." said Hakkai with his warm smile. "I seem to be healing well." He pulled his hat down tighter on his head. "Though my hair is slow to grow back."

"Good," He replied watching him pull on the hat. "Aww, least it's gonna grow back. And I think you look cute no matter how ya look." He smiled gently at him. Hakkai gave a little snort but blushed. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, 'Kai." the smile widened a little seeing him blush. "Ne, if you're wantin' anything later just say, okay? I'm thinking of getting something to eat once we reach the square."

"Sure." said Hakkai with a smile. "You think Sanzo and Goku are okay?"

"Sanzo and Goku?" Gojyo laughed. "Yeah I'm sure they're okay Hakkai. Messing with the monks head can be amusing, especially when the monkey doesn't catch on." Hakkai laughed, "I suppose."

"Yeah. Goku's cooking for Sanzo and him tonight...told him it was better than Sanzo doing it, and he said that I was worse. I don't think I'm all that bad at cooking."

Hakkai giggled. "You are all that bad and you know it."

"I know," Gojyo grinned widely. "You're the best, we all know that." He slowed down his pace for a moment.

"Well...it's not about being the best... I COULD teach you."

Gojyo gave that a thought for a minute, and nodded. "Yeah, I don't see why not. I could give it a try." He stopped now.

"What?" Hakkai asked as they stopped. "What's wrong?"

Gojyo looked up at him while pulling him closer a small grin on his lips. "Noooothing," Hakkai blushed deeply, "Gojyo...we're in public..."

"And? Don't worry I'm only after a hug." Said the kappa wrapping his arms around him. Hakkai rested his burning face on Gojyo's chest. "This'll take some getting used to."

"I know, I'm patient." said Gojyo with a small smile letting him go. "Maa! Let's go ne? My stomachs about to make me sound like that monkey."

"Someone needs to fill in for him if he's busy with Sanzo..." said Hakkai, realising that sounded a lot dirtier than he had meant. Gojyo laughed catching onto it of course. "Yeaaah, guess you're right about that." He said.

As they walked a woman and her young child were looking at something in a shop window. The small girl looked up at the pair and yelled briefly causing her mother to turn to her as she outstretched an arm towards them, Hakkai in particular.

"He's the one!" She called out loudly.

Gojyo turned his head to look to the side a brow raised. "Huh?" Hakkai nearly jumped into Gojyo's arms at the scream.


	16. Chapter 16

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (possible Sanzo x Goku...maybe if I can talk my friend into it )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: Hakkai's been accused of a crime he didn't comit by a young girl who's mistaken him for someone else. Gojyo gets a little protective of the situation...which leads to more trouble

* * *

The girls' mother tried calming her down trying to tell her that pointing was rude.

"He's the one that tried to take me away!" The girl said loud enough for them to hear as she struggled free of her mothers grasp to point up at the man once more. Gojyo blinked, he was sure as hell that he hadn't done anything of the sort, ever and never would… he didn't stoop that fucking low. The mother looked up at them both eyeing them suspiciously she asked her daughter which of them she meant. The girl pointed at Hakkai. Gojyo raised a brow, okay this kid was talking a load of shit…and she was younger than Goku for crying out loud!

"I...I never..." Hakkai said only loud enough for Gojyo to hear.

"Don't worry, Hakkai…I believe you," Gojyo muttered back to him. The girls' mother came closer to the pair, shifting her daughter behind her.

"So you're the creep that tried to abduct my daughter a while ago." She asked scowling at the brunette more than the red-head. Gojyo felt his own eyes narrow at the woman calling HIS Hakkai a creep.

"I didn't ma'm you have to understand..."

"Don't give me that! You have to be, she wouldn't have pointed you out if you weren't that bastard! Don't think you can get away with this either." She retorted. Gojyo placed an arm around the healer rather protectively.

"He's telling you the goddamned truth..."

"I just...I smiled at her is all..." Gojyo looked to him. "You mean this is the one who ran away from you?"

The woman shook her head. "You can't sweet-talk your way out of this one so easily! And you..." She looked at Gojyo with a little more disgust now realising what he was, Gojyo's head turned back.

"...I thought being one of those half breed bastards was bad enough but I bet you probably helped your friend there...and I also bet you're the ones who took away those other children!" the woman said harshly accusing both of them, this town wasn't one for demons but they hated taboo children even more…or most people in the village did anyway. Gojyo gritted his teeth and glowered at the woman, he could take that shit, yeah…he's been through it enough with the monk that it shouldn't bother him anymore.

Hakkai struck the woman harshly across the face and as soon as he did he gasped at himself aghast at how quickly his temper had overcome him. The kappa turned to look at him a little surprised, never before had he seen Hakkai actually strike a human female before…men yes but never a woman. Then again, he supposed if he hadn't then Gojyo might have just done it himself.

The woman held the side of the face the youth slapped her on looking shocked for a minute or so before glowering at the green-eyed man again.

"Why you...you beat women as well?! You're a lowlife." She went to strike Hakkai across the face only to have her wrist caught and grasped tightly in Gojyo's hand.

"Don't even try it..." the kappa warned lowly, his eyes hardened just a little, the protective side of him had kicked in, he wasn't about to let this…woman… touch Hakkai. The child ran off to get help.

"Gojyo, let her go!" Hakkai pulled on his arm. "Please?"

"I won't let her hit you." Gojyo muttered, his eyes softened a little again as he looked to the healer. He didn't let the squirming female out of his grasp and he wasn't going to if she was going to try and hit Hakkai again.

"She won't..." said the healer. "Let her go."

Gojyo released his hold on the females wrist after a short argument with his inner-self. The woman looked at him while rubbing at her wrist, there had been a red mark from where Gojyo had tightened his grip.

"You can't protect your friend forever you know. I'll see that you both get dealt with!" She said warningly turning to walk away hurriedly. Gojyo snorted and watched her leave. Yeah, he'd really stop trying to protect him. The kappa would indeed exchange his life if it were to save Hakkai from anything drastic. His train of thought was interrupted by Hakkai's voice calling to him. Gojyo turned to face him with a questioning look.

"Let's go back..." Hakkai took his hand.

"Okay, if you're wanting to?" Gojyo replied with a small sigh, looks like he'd have to put in the extra effort to get Sanzo to loan him the card again. He let the healer take his hand, holding it in a fair grip. "Sorry about nearly going off my head there."

"We'll get in trouble, they'll know I'm youkai..."

"She didn't seem to take any notice...least it didn't seem it. There's not much they could do us anyway if we do get in trouble." Gojyo said with a small shrug, he really didn't see this town as bright, in any sense.

"It's a small town, they could do alot."

"Like what?"

They hadn't gone twenty minutes into their journey back to the inn when Hakkai gave a small cry as a sting hit his neck and he fell to his knees pulling a small dart from his neck. Gojyo looked at him when he cried out crouching down next to him glancing at the dart.

"Fuck, Hakkai you okay?!" The kappa winced feeling a sting himself, cursing as he took the object from his own neck. "You gotta...be shittin' me…"

Hakkai was very unconscious when he hit the dirt road. Gojyo was soon enough unconscious as well. A couple of the towns local police moved in picking the men up, dragging them back to the quarters to throw them in the cells, well where they kept the likes of demons and half-breeds. That woman must have been hell of a fast or they'd missed the fact entirely that the police quarters weren't that far from where they'd rowed with the woman.

Up above a small dragon had been flying overhead, he'd been sent by the angry one to go look for his master and his masters friend. Beady red eyes took in the scene below and a bit of panic settled into the dragon. Hakuryu squealed in terror and went back toward the inn.

Back at the inn Sanzo sighed turning the page of the newspaper; this town was boring him to death slowly, as soon as the healer was well enough they could get out of here.

A loud THUNK hit the window. Goku jumped from his spot on the bed.

"What was that?"

"Hell if I know monkey, why don't you go see what it was." Sanzo said boredly, he was that bored he couldn't be bothered to snap at the saru let alone smack him over the head with the fan or fire a round at him. The boy opened the window and gave a little cry as he scooped up Hakuryu from the ledge.

"Hakuryu are you okay?"

The dragon squeaked weakly shocked from his encounter with the glass.

"Stupid dragon...should know better to fly into the fucking window..."

"He should!" Goku's eyes got wide. "What's wrong?" The little animal gestured his head toward the window and blood came from his little nose as he did. Sanzo put the newspaper down and looked over. "Tch, it better not be anything goddamned troublesome."

"He's hurt..." said Goku in a pained tone. "Where's Hakkai?" The dragon gave a long mournful croon.

"Don't tell me that stupid Kappa's done something stupid...again." The priest muttered rolling his eyes. No doubt they'd have to go find the stupid sprite, he swore if that idiot had done something to put the healer back into the fucking hospital then they'd be feasting on sun-dried-kappa for a long while. Goku was out the door all ready the dragon in his hands.

"...Tch..." Sanzo stood picking up the gun from the table and left the room to go after Goku.


	17. Chapter 17

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (Sanzo x Goku: hmmm possibly you'll just needa wait and see won't you )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: Gojyo and Hakkai have to escape from the prison they've been locked in. How will they escape? And will Hakkai have to take drastic measures to save them?

* * *

Gojyo was the first to wake up out of the two captured party members. Gojyo felt drowsy and to say the least…sick. He pushed himself up so that he was sitting upright trying not to let his body win and keep the sick feeling down. He settled up against the wall, his crimson gaze scanned the surrounding. Where was he anyway? Eyes fixed themselves on the iron bars in front of him…bars…he closed his eyes with a groan, placing a hand over his eyes. Oh yeah, that was right… he and Hakkai had got pretty much surprised attacked by people. Hakkai…where was Hakkai? He took his hand away and his eyes shot open looking about wildly for the healer, what if the people who'd taken them captive had done something to him?

The thought was laid to rest when his eyes blurrily locked onto the brunette's figure scanning him over checking that he was breathing at least. Once he confirmed that little detail he decided to get comfy against the wall, since there wasn't much he could do anyway.

Hakkai woke with a huge headache and felt like puking frankly. He groaned loudly.

"'Bout time you came round 'Kai." Gojyo said to him from the side. He was still leaning against the wall and didn't feel like he could move much still feeling drowsy from the lousy dart.

"You're...okay?" Hakkai asked quietly.

"Just, what about you?" Gojyo replied trying to move but his body failed to comply with his wishes.

"I feel like I'm going to puke..." said the man quietly.

"Better out than in ne?" said Gojyo, straining a small laugh. He forced his limbs to work and went over to him.

"If you say so...you're the cook..."

"Aa, you might feel a bit better afterwards... those bastards... I swear if I felt like I could break those bars and smack them one...I would." Gojyo muttered under his breath glaring up at the bars as though trying to melt them by vision alone.

"I didn't touch that girl..." Hakkai said not moving from his side. He covered his bare head with his arms, embarrassed that Gojyo could see the short black hair coming back in.

"I know, I believe you Hakkai." Gojyo said moving himself to move the healers arms, didn't the healer know that he didn't care how his hair looked?

"And you needn't worry about that either, remember what I told you earlier?"

"I know it's ugly..." said Hakkai, "I'm not stupid Gojyo."

Gojyo frowned a little. "It is not, and I know you're not. Don't think like that. I meant what I said."

Hakkai wouldn't move his arms. "I'm not talking about this...I know what I am and what I'm not..."

"Do you mean your demon side?"

"No I mean what I didn't do to this girl and how I look."

"We'll get outta this, Hakkai… you'll see."

Hakkai let out a shaky breath as his stomach churned. "What did you say about them not doing anything...

"My bad, I didn't think they'd be capable of thinking that smartly." He smirked. "It coulda been worse."

Hakkai heaved and he propped himself up on his arms as he emptied his stomach on the dirty floor. Gojyo averted his gaze placing a hand on the healers back gently.

"Worse how?"

Well, they coulda had guns like our loving priest has? Ya know, coulda shot us and hit."

"You don't know they didn't keep us alive for torture."

"And there's that...T-they wouldn't really resort to torture would they?" Gojyo asked with a hint of worry in his voice. What if they did resort to that? "They really don't look that bright." He added as an after thought. Hakkai heaved again in answer.

"You think Sanzo will come looking for us? If Goku bugs him enough?"

Hakkai struggled to catch his breath and spat the taste out of his mouth. "I..." A man appeared at their cell. Gojyo looked up sending a glare to the man.

"I was wondering when you two idiots would come to, thought we'd put too much sleeping drug into those darts..." He looked to the floor. "...And I hope you intend to clear that up pretty boy. Everyone cleans up after themselves here."  
"Leave him the hell alone moron." Gojyo bit back. The man laughed at him. "Oh? Or what? What can a mere half breed like yourself do? Or a weak Youkai like him?"

Hakkai coughed hard but didn't say anything, content to listen for the moment.

"Bastard, I'll kick your ass!" said the hanyou shifting himself to stand up -or try- his legs not wanting to work properly and gave way making him fall over. Gojyo cursed pushing himself up, head turning to the laughing man.

"Maybe we should just keep you for entertainment half breed."

"You won't touch him..." said Hakkai in his most deadly tone.

"Is that so? How can you be so sure I won't? Something like that coming from one like you is rather funny." The man snorted. "Your little friend there would make a good entertainment thing..."

"I would kill you..."

"I'd very much like to see you try that. Is the half breed a pet or something? Heh, maybe we should just kill you before you get to cocky." He said. Gojyo looked up again narrowing his eyes.

Hakkai spat, "I'd like to see you try..." his green eyes went hard.

"You couldn't do anything." The guard said looking at the healer challengingly. "You look like a push over." he added. Gojyo snorted.

"You're the fucking pushover asshole. Why don't you come in here and say that to us."  
"I'm not that stupid to fall for a trick like that you filthy pathetic little half breed." The man said harshly. Hakkai's hands crept toward his ear cuffs. Gojyo turned to the healer noticing the hand snaking up to the limiters. "Hakkai…" He called to him quietly, the healer shouldn't have to resort to turning Youkai to take care of the man. The guard watched not hearing the kappa call over to the healer.

"So you're just going to fix your jewellery then? Oh that's such a joke."

Hakkai tore off the cuffs and went for the man in a flash through the bars. He almost caught him too and his mixed eyes glared at the man dangerously.

"You are very foolish, come closer, I'll trim your hair for you...right at the NECK." He swiped again.

The man jumped back with a startled yelp, not loud enough to alert the others in the area though. He seemed shaken up all of a sudden to.

"D-Damn Youkai..." He turned his gaze to the half breed. "C-can't you...keep this i-idiot under control!?"  
"Me? Oh…I probably could, but why would I want to do that exactly? You're the one that angered him, not me." Gojyo muttered standing up again using the wall as support. He might as well stop him wile he was ahead, it could turn into a serious situation if he let the demon go too far

"...Hakkai." He called over to the demon calmly watching him.

"Let me tear him apart..." the demon snarled staring at the man with his eyes. "I can do it quietly..." The vine tattoo patterns ran from his hands down the cell bars and grabbed the man's legs. The man looked down terrified at the vines grabbing his legs.

"As much as it pains me to say it, don't do it... " The kappa said finally managing to get his legs working a bit better, enough to go to the healers side. "I don't want you getting hurt."

"Oh it won't hurt me much..." The demon's vines went up to the man's neck. "Just a little squeeze?"

"Hakkai!" Gojyo raised his voice a little placing his hand on his arm. "Don't." He could see the man trying to squirm his way out of the hold, failing miserably. Hakkai's eyes looked from the man to Gojyo and back.

"Fine..." He let the man go and picked up his limiters from the floor. "But you'll be sorry I didn't"

"If the idiot does try something... then you'd have a valid excuse to kill him ne? But I think, you might have scared him enough to think twice."

The youkai growled and slipped back on the limiters...Hakkai buckled and fell to the ground almost instantly.

"Shit, Hakkai..." said the kappa worriedly and went to kneel down at his side. "You okay?"

"I...I've made things worse..." said the healer weakly.

"I'll handle anyone else that dares to be stupid enough to challenge us, right? Don't worry about it." He muttered helping him to stand up. The guard still shaken made his way across to the other side of the room to pick up a large piece of wood and made his way back to the cell fumbling at the keys on his belt.

"I-I'll make sure...you pay...for that, bastard!"

Gojyo turned his head to the man with a glare, okay maybe he'd have to take care of this one sooner than he thought. Hakkai pushed himself in front of Gojyo as the man swung the door open. Neither of them were very strong, but he wasn't letting Gojyo get beat to death in front of him.

"Hakkai." Gojyo pulled the healer to him, not letting him take any hits either. "I told you..." He glanced up at the guard as he walked over raising the bat to them, the kappa shifting in front of Hakkai at the last minute gritted his teeth as the impact was made he had taken the hit between the shoulders, it wasn't all that hard thankfully, poor idiot must have been really shaken up for not much strength to be present in the swing, but it still stung a little.

"I'll handle the idiot." Gojyo said, finishing off his sentence and back-kicked the guard best he could, to get him away from them at least. "He really ain't all that bright...is he?"

"Not overly no...I would have brought back up..."

The kappa stood up holding a hand out the shakujou materialising into view. He'd force his own body to work feeling weak or not.

"Heh, maybe I'll give the idiot a third thought ne?" Gojyo grinned maliciously looking at the guard. Hakkai touched his shoulder and sent warm healing chi into it without a word. The man had a look of fear on his face staring at the crescent blade. He dropped the bat and ran out of the cell not bothering to bring the door over and lock it again. Instead he'd run right out to get help from other guards. Gojyo let the weapon return to wherever it was it came from and turned to face the healer, just realising the healer had channelled the chi into him.

"You know you're going to pass out again if you don't watch."

"And you'd carry me out then so it doesn't really matter..."

"True, but I'd rather have you awake ne? Should we try to get outta here?"

"Yeah," said Hakkai, finishing up. "Let's go."

"All right," Gojyo took hold of the healers hand, he felt somewhat better thanks to the chi. "You can walk at least?" he asked with a small smile.

"Oh of course I can walk..." Hakkai said with a grin.

"Good," He replied walking on getting to the door of the entrance to the main corridor peeking his head out to look for any dangers.

"Looks clear..." The kappa went out into the corridor taking Hakkai with him and winced feeling a familiar nip at the back of his neck hand shooting up to take the small dart out. "Not again...Hakkai, get outta here…" He muttered dropping to his knees feeling too drowsy to stand again.

There were a few guards who'd appeared behind them at one end of the corridor aiming the darts at the pair. Hakkai put up a chi barrier around him and Gojyo.

"I warn you, stop this..." he shouted to them.

"And let you freaks on the loose? Like hell we'll let that happen!" One guard snapped back.

"We've brought your little pet down, what do you think you can do now?" he added firing a dart in the healers direction cursing as it got deflected from the barrier.

"He's not my pet...and you leave him out of this..." Hakkai could feel his hands inching toward his limiters again as the demon desperately wanted to get out.

"If he's not your pet what is he? Apart from a pathetic half-breed?" Te guard snorted, the previous guard who'd came running for help failed to tell then about Hakkai's demon side. Gojyo was fighting with the drug desperately trying to not go to sleep. The demon ripped the limiters off and the barrier dropped, but the darts that DID hit the fast demon did nothing. He went at the men with his sharp claws.

"...Ha-k-kai..." said the hanyou weakly still trying his damndest to stay awake his vision blurring only slightly as the sleeping drug started to overcome him.  
He could hear echoes of the men yelled in terror, one of the guards attempted to flee.

Gojyo lay down on the ground now feeling himself beginning to drift off to sleep. Eventually his eyes closed and he slept. He cursed himself as he slept too, he was meant to be doing all the fighting and protecting Hakkai, but it was the other way about, again.


	18. Chapter 18

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (Sanzo x Goku: hmmm possibly you'll just needa wait and see won't you )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: They escaped! Of course with Gojyo being out for the count...Hakkai was left to take everything, and Gojyo's feeling like hell

* * *

It was several hours later when Gojyo woke up, feeling groggy as he had when he'd first woken up from the drug the first time. His eyes shifted to Hakkai's figure, or was it him? His vision had yet to properly to clear. The demon's breath was easy to hear...his chest was heaving with effort to stay alive through all the drugs that had been pushed into him through the darts that littered his body. His bi-coloured eyes stared at Gojyo blankly. The cloudiness in Gojyo's eyes cleared finally and the horrible feeling he had lifted a little. He eyed the demon for a moment looking to the darts that were sticking in him.

"Sh-it, Hakkai..." He looked back up at the demon looking up at those mismatched eyes of his. "Are you...okay?"

The demon growled faintly and reached out a claw to him shakily. That face he loved...those blood red eyes...they were safe. He tried to speak but all that came out was a growl. The kappa gathered what strength he could into his arms and legs and lifted his body to crawl a little closer to him.

Hakkai's clawed hand touched his hair gently and he made a sort of purring noise deep in his throat. Gojyo shifted closer to the demon reaching a hand out to him to touch his face.

"You know... ya should take those darts out of you." He said straining his voice to have that laugh to it. The youkai tried to reach the bunch of them spread over his back but his arms wouldn't reach. He gave up his chest heaving harder with the effort to follow Gojyo's instructions."

"Turn over a little, I'll get them for you ne?" Offered the hanyou, pulling his body upright to sit up. He watched the demons chest, worry beginning to come over him. "You'll be okay..." He muttered. The demon did as he was instructed his fingernails digging into the ground as he moved and the darts shifted in his back. He let out a growl of pain.

Gojyo removed the small darts that had littered his back discarding them to the side. Once he got them all he went to help the demon back up again. "I swear if I see any one of those morons I'll kill 'em." The hanyou muttered bitterly.

"I...did..." said the demon in his low rumble of a voice.

"You did? You mean you...killed them, all of them?" Gojyo asked, knowing it was a bad thing but at this particular point he was thinking differently about the situation. Sanzo would most likely go off his head...and who knows what Goku would do.

"I...did..." said the demon again. "They would have..." a deep raspy breath. "Killed you."

Yeah, and it's kill or be killed... if you ask me, those bastards deserved that..." Gojyo replied to him his hand reaching out to run along the demons ear gently. "How are you feeling anyway?"

A deep growl was all he got, it was like the purr of a great cat, a creaking sort of noise that put a chill in the bones. Gojyo brought his hand back to his side and leaned against the demon a little.

"We're probably gonna be in big trouble... " He mused looking up at the sky it seemed darker than it was earlier now. "Looks like Sanzo and Goku will have to save us ne?"

This got a little chuckle from the demon that turned into a cough.

"Are you okay?" The kappa asked turning his gaze back to him. He pulled the demon to him.

"Yes..." said the youkai in that purring bass voice of his.

"You sure?" The demon nodded, "Don't...put...the limiters...back on..." growled the beast.

"Don't? Why not?" He asked, the drug still effecting him.

"I'll die..." growled the youkai simply. The come back had stunned the kappa a little, did the drugs really do that much damage to him?!

"Shit, s'a damn good reason not to then. I'll be damned if I'm going to lose you completely."

The youkai snarled at the comment.

"Oi, you're not angry are ya?" Gojyo asked quietly.

"I'm not lost...Gojyo...this is me..." said the demon shaking a little in his rage.

"I didn't mean like that Hakkai. I mean are you angry with me?" Gojyo said, wrapping his arms around the demon. "I'm the one that got caught with the dart again."

"You said you didn't want to lose me completely..." said Hakkai growling and shifting a bit. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I know you're not. What I meant was I don't want you to die. Sorry if it sounded like I was doubting you 'Kai." Gojyo said apologetically. "What do you think we should do now? Find the priest and monkey?"

"Can't move..." growled the demon in an irritated voice.

"Aa, so we'll stay here until you feel a bit better...maybe Hakuryu will find us by chance or something." The kappa muttered shifting a little so he was facing the demon, a finger idly tracing one of the many vine patterns on the youkai's skin.

"Or a guard...or family of once of those men..."

"That's a bad thing... as long as no more fragging darts are involved I can take care of things...I hope." Gojyo answered looking up at him. The demon's bi-coloured eyes drifted closed slowly. The kappa lowered his head a little placing a kiss on the demons forehead.

"You just rest ne..." Gojyo said quietly his own eyes wanting to close again, he rested his head against the demons as he fell into a light sleep, he was awake enough to sense any danger nearby.


	19. Chapter 19

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (Sanzo x Goku: hmmm possibly you'll just needa wait and see won't you )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: Sanzo and Goku are looking for their companions, but is it them who find them? or is there more trouble ahead?

* * *

"Where have those idiots gone to, this town isn't that fucking big." Sanzo mumbled to himself scanning the streets he went down. Goku stood behind him some ways looking into an alley his nose working in the air.

"Goku?" He called behind him, silently asking him if he'd found anything yet within that one word.

"I can smell them..." said Goku. "This way..."

The wrong image ran through Sanzo's mind at that point ...damn that stupid kappa for messing with his mind over the last few days. He turned and followed Goku. "They better not have done anything stupid...I'll kill them both if they have."

Gojyo lifted his head up, eyes opening. He could have sworn he heard something he was just debating with himself if he should get his weapon back out or not just incase.

"Gojyo! HEY!" Goku saw him raise his head. "How did you get in here!"

The kappa cringed at his voice a little. "Geez...monkey not so loud." He winced in reply. "We...or rather...Hakkai got us out."  
"You look a fucking mess stupid kappa..." Sanzo muttered coming to stand behind Goku.

"Hey Goku...you have fun at all?" Gojyo asked with a strained grin.

"No you dumb ass...HOLY SHIT! What happened to Hakkai?!"

"He took off the limiters stupid monkey..." Gojyo snorted it should have been that obvious…though he knew what he was getting at.  
"And? What else happened? I doubt his demon side would be sleeping fucking soundly in your arms like that." Sanzo scoffed.  
"...All I know is he dealt with some of the guards who took us prisoner...and I really doubt they were thinking about being friendly to either of us...they managed to get a number of darts in him though." Gojyo explained glancing to the healer.

"You're telling me you let him take off the limiters and go on a killing spree?! I knew you were stupid, Gojyo but I didn't think you could be THAT stupid." hissed the priest.

"He..." Goku spied the blood on Hakkai's hands and shivered. "He didn't really?"

"He did, and believe me...if he hadn't I probably would have." Gojyo bit back, bitterness clear in his voice. "I couldn't exactly stop him either, Sanzo...I'd been darted before he took them off."   
"Tch, idiots..."

"Hakkai's gonna be upset when he wakes up..." said Goku looking down at Hakuryu in his arms. "Jeep we need you..." The dragon chirped, flew to the end of the ally and turned into their Jeep.

"Don't you think I know that chimp?! It was kill or be fucking killed, I don't think they were going to keep us alive for long if they had their ways you know."

"Be thankful I'm not going to kill you both here and now...We'll be lucky if we can get out of this town without people noticing." Sanzo muttered turning to head towards the Jeep. "Goku...help that moron, we're getting out of here now."

Goku took Hakkai from Gojyo but didn't say a word as he easily shouldered the dead weight and put him in the back of the jeep.

"HEY! I think the shitty monk meant me as well you stupid monkey!" Gojyo protested standing and making his way to them, wobbling about a bit as he did. He clambered into the back of the Jeep to be beside the healer.  
"He better not wake up and take a hissy fit Gojyo..." The priest warned getting into the drivers seat.  
"He won't...we just better end up still alive by the time you're finished with poor Hakuryu. Your driving...sucks." Gojyo bit back, trying to put his humour over at the same time.

"Shut up kappa...Goku, hurry up."

Goku held up a finger and went back to look on the ground, he found the limiters he was looking for and dropped them in his pocket before sitting next to Sanzo without a word.


	20. Chapter 20

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (Sanzo x Goku: hmmm possibly you'll just needa wait and see won't you )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: So the Sanzo Ikkou decide to scram on outta there... and Gojyo and Goku make something between themselves that Sanzo doesn't think the Kappa can commit to.

* * *

Sanzo started the Jeep and drove not caring about how fast he done it, as long as there was no people in his way. Gojyo placed a hand on Goku's head ruffling his hair a little coming to lean up to his ear.

"Hey, you okay..." Stupid question to ask him. Goku batted at his hand but didn't say anything, slouched in his seat.

"Lemme guess...you're mad at me right? For not stopping Hakkai." He muttered to him going back to sitting down.

"No I'm MAD at you because it's YOUR fault he gets hurt!" Goku yelled spinning in his chair. "EVERY TIME!"

Gojyo went to open his mouth then closed it, how could he argue with that exactly? "Yeah yeah, I know you stupid chimp..." He snapped back turning to face him. "You don't have to fucking remind me!"

"Why the hell can't you protect yourself?! It's all your fault..." he sat eyes front again clearly very angry.

"There's little I could fucking do when sleeping you stupid moron! If I hadn't been hit with a fucking dart I would have dealt with those guards and hit with those darts instead of Hakkai! Hell, who knows, if I had I'd probably be dead right about now." He added turning back. "And I bet at that you'd still be saying stupid stuff."

"Hakkai's the only one that can put up a barrier. And yeah they'd probably have killed you because I don't have any strength at all and I'd have just let them kill you...You're so stupid Gojyo."

"Cheh, yeah well, you probably would chimp. You know I don't give a damn how much you hate me." The kappa snorted turning his attention to the Youkai. Sanzo shook his head a little.

"Will you two shut the fuck up already, If Gojyo knows it's his fault then drop it saru."

Goku had tears in his eyes at Gojyo's words but he turned his head so the Kappa couldn't see. That wasn't true at all.

"If it makes you feel any better monkey, I'll let you kick my ass for the hell of it later." The kappa muttered. Goku sniffed and rubbed at his eyes with his sleeve. "It won't."

"Oh? And what would?" Gojyo asked. Goku shook his head, he didn't really know.

"Well...you can still do it if you like...I probably deserve it right?" the red head reached a hand behind him to rest on the boys head. "I didn't mean to get Hakkai hurt at any point. You believe that at least right?"

"I don't know anymore..." said Goku. "But if it's not you he's doing it to himself."

"If you're referring to that thing he tried when he was in the hospital, that was my fault to,"

"No I'm NOT..." said Goku angrily. He really didn't know what he was saying anymore.

"All right, all right geez monkey. You're starting to sound like blondie there...One Sanzo's bad enough without a hippie demon-baby saru turning into one." Goku didn't say anything to that.

"Asshole, do you want to die..." Sanzo asked. "Goku...maybe you could handle shutting him up if he says anything stupid. It might make you feel a little better and you'd be doing me a favour..."

"I don't wanna hit him...I just don't want Hakkai to hurt anymore..."

Gojyo made a noise that sounded like a moan. "How about I make a promise with you chimp? I won't let anyone or anything hurt Hakkai anymore."  
"Tch like you could hold out that kappa."

"I'll make it with you..." said the boy quietly.

"Good, and if I break it, you can do whatever you want to me, right?"

Goku snorted. "Fine."

"And now that, that's sorted, how about you go back to being your chimpy self?"

"When Hakkai's okay..."

"Hakkai'll be fine...he's just needing a lot of rest after all of those darts."

Goku looked at him over his shoulder, "That's not what I mean. Gojyo tilted his head back towards him. "Whatcha mean then monkey, you hardly make yourself specific enough at times."

"He killed those people..."

"I know..." He looked back down at the youkai in the back. "He warned the first guy that tried to have a go at me...and he chose twice to take off his limiters."

"Once we're far enough...we'll camp out." Sanzo announced.

"That's not what I MEAN Gojyo..." said Goku. "How long is it going to be before he'll stop staring at his hands again?"

"Goku, Gojyo's obviously still not with it, that drug could still be playing with his head."

"No he knows what I mean. Hakkai's gonna blame himself for the deaths and going to go all dark and brooding for-EVER."

"Yeah…we know it could take a while...Geez you're really making me wish I done it monkey."

"Well whatever...but just...don't let him get too down..." said Goku solemnly.

"I won't let him Goku." He left it that, he wouldn't add the part about trust, the monkey had probably lost it all in him anyway.

"Thanks..." said the monkey quietly. That was what he needed to hear.


	21. Chapter 21

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (Sanzo x Goku: hmmm possibly you'll just needa wait and see won't you )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: Hakkai wakes up...and there's a fight...it could get serious...and there's an argument between Sanzo and his monkey.

* * *

Sanzo stopped the Jeep, glancing around. "Tch might as well set up camp here." He stated getting out, lighting a cigarette at the same time.  
"Here? sure we're far enough from the town?" Gojyo asked looking about they didn't seem to be on the road for too long, then again the villagers probably wouldn't be able to tell where they were. Hakkai stirred, coughing a bit as his eyes opened. The coughing caught Gojyo's attention turning to the healer.

"Hakkai?"

The youkai let out a sigh as he came back to reality. His hands searching for something.

"You feeling better...hmmm you lookin' for your limiters?" asked the kappa scanning him over. Goku handed the limiters to Gojyo over the seat.

"Gojyo..." the demon growled.

"Hm? What is it 'Kai?" Gojyo turned to take the limiters back from Goku and turned back round. "'Wan me to put 'em on?" he asked leaning over him a little.  
Hakkai shook his head at the cuffs, "Not yet."

"Okay, I'll keep a hold of them for ya'."  
"If he's awake then hurry the hell up and set up camp already." Sanzo barked from the side. "Goku that means you as well, move your ass."

"All riiiight," said Goku. "Don't be such a hard ass."

"Yeah monk, if your that desperate for camp to be set up, why don't you help? Think you can stand up or anything Hakkai?" Gojyo called back to the monk then returned to looking at the demon in front of him. The youkai sat with a growl and a hand to his head. "I can stand."

"Okay. You've been outta it for a while." The kappa muttered shifting a little, wincing a moment later from a sudden fan to the head. "Ow, damned monk whatcha playin' at?!" the kappa asked harshly turning to glare at the monk.  
"I told you to move it kappa." Sanzo replied turning to walk away. The youkai growled and slashed at the monk warningly at his hit on Gojyo.

"Stay away from him."

Gojyo placed a hand onto the youkai's shoulder. "Easy Hakkai..."   
Sanzo drew one of his cold glares as he stopped and turned to look at the youkai.

"Don't think you can order me about just because you're in youkai form, Hakkai."

The demon was out of the jeep and on top of the man in a second his claws and inch from Sanzo's face.

"Do not think that your human threats bother me in the least monk."

Goku's eyes were huge as he watched his mentor and the one he loved fight.

"Hakkai!" Gojyo's eyes widened slightly, stupid monk. He got out the Jeep placing his hands on healers arms, a firm grip on each arm as he pleaded with the angered youkai. "C'mon 'Kai, don't."   
Sanzo just stayed still, not expecting to get floored by the healer. His hand was reaching towards his gun however.

"Tch, get off of me."

The youkai snarled and pinned the hand above the monk's head, "You're not going to shoot me. Do NOT touch him."

The monk growled warningly. "I don't need to shoot you, Hakkai. Get.Off.Of.Me.Now."  
"Baka! Don't fucking push him..." Gojyo muttered to the monk while trying to pull the youkai off of him. "Hakkai, let him go. Please?"

Goku just stood mortified where he was watching the whole thing. Hakkai growled and spun on Gojyo his claws scraping across Gojyo's chest, leaving small red lines in their wake. A small wince left the kappa obviously not expecting that. "Hakkai..." He cared less about the claws scratching at him.  
"Get him under fucking control." The monk half shouted at Gojyo more than Goku. The youkai turned back to Sanzo and put a hand around his neck.

"Shut up scum." It was then Goku finally tackled the man off Sanzo. "STOP IT!"

Hakkai growled at the boy and soon had him pinned instead.

"You're mighty scrappy for a little boy."

"You can't hurt Sanzo!"

The youkai's long hands wrapped around Goku's neck this time and were none to gentle as they gave a hard squeeze. Goku's eyes bulged.

"HAKKAI!" Gojyo yelled. Sanzo got up taking the gun out, training it on the youkai. "Let him go, Hakkai or else...I won't fucking miss you from this far."  
"Don't even think about it monk!" The kappa hissed going to the youkai's side forcing Hakkai off of the smaller boy pinning the youkai's arms down by his side. "Snap out of it already Hakkai!"

The monk closed in still keeping the gun trained on the out-of-control youkai, an arm reaching out to the saru.

"Goku?"

Goku coughed and clung to the arm. He stared at the youkai with frank terror. The demon struggled in Gojyo's grip, "I'll kill him..."

"No, you won't. Snap outta it now!" Gojyo put more pressure into his hold.  
"Goku, are you all right?" asked the priest looking to him -with his eyes showing that faintest little hint of worry- for a moment before turning to look at the kappa and healer.

"His limiters Gojyo..." said Goku breathlessly, coughing again.

"Bu-"  
"Damn it Gojyo! Put the goddamn limiters on him now, before he ends up killing you as well!"  
The kappa cursed under his breath releasing one of the youkai's arms to feel at his pockets...and cursed again.

"Guys...one small problem..."  
"What..."

"The limiters...I left them in the Jeep when I went to get him off of Sanzo..."

Hakkai snarled and pulled against Gojyo as the little monkey dashed passed the two to get to the jeep. "GOT EM!"

"Great, give 'em here..." He outstretched a hand to take them from him eyes glancing to the healer. "You can struggle all you want Hakkai, I'm not letting you go and I ain't gonna' let you kill Sanzo or Goku."  
The monk stood silently watching them continuing to keep the gun aimed at Hakkai, he really would shoot him if he were to hurt the monkey. Hakkai, now only restrained by one hand and having only one person in his line of sight broke free and was on Goku again in an instant. The boy reached up and put the limiters on and Hakkai collapsed on top of him.


	22. Chapter 22

Sanzo lowered the gun away back into the robes with a sigh.

"Tch, try keeping him under control next time." Sanzo commented walking by him. Gojyo snorted and got up walking over to Goku and pulled Hakkai off of him.

"You okay there monkey?"

Goku's eyes were huge and he was out of breath but he nodded, "Scared a little, but okay."

"Aa, sorry... I should've kept him down ne?"  
"Damn right you fucking should have you stupid kappa! Just what were you going to do exactly? Sweet-talk him outta it?!" Sanzo snapped from behind him. The man in question gave a soft groan in Gojyo's arms. Gojyo ignored the monk looking down to Hakkai. "'Kai?"

"Sorry Goku," Hakkai moaned quietly. The boy was at his side, "I'm fine."

Sanzo huffed and turned away. "I need a little me time...anyone disturbs me I'll kill them."  
"Yeah," Gojyo said idly in reply to the monk. "You okay Hakkai?" Stupid question of the moment again. The man touched his chest, "I hurt you, both of you." He took Goku's hand in his. "I...I killed didn't I?"

"Y-yeah...I couldn't stop you either." Gojyo muttered to him.

"Sorry..." the healer said looking between them. "I'm very sorry."

"It's okay,"

"Not remotely."

"Ya know how I meant it..." He looked at Goku. "Oi, Goku think ya can scram a moment? Go see how mr Sour.Ass is over there ne?" Goku squeezed Hakkai's hand and ran after Sanzo.

"I'm sorry Hakkai." said Gojyo placing his arms around the healer to hug him. Hakkai's eyes widened, "Why?"

"Because..." The kappa looked guiltily to the side a little. "I couldn't stop your youkai from doing what he did, and I barely kept hold on you there."

"I knew what I was doing..." said Hakkai seriously.

"I know...but still,"

"Do not blame yourself."

"Can't help it. It was my own fault for getting hit with that dart. I coulda taken care of things if I hadn't."

"Gojyo...it was not you who killed those men. part of me really REALLY wanted to."

"Did it have anything to do with what they were saying about us?"

"I...I don't remember."

"Oh, okay...I know I woulda. heh...I made a promise to Goku as well, after he got really mad at me."

"A promise?"

"Yeah."

"About what?"

"That I wouldn't let anything or anyone hurt you..."

Hakkai hugged him tightly, "I can take care of myself, it's not your fault."

"I'm still gonna stick with the promise 'Kai... apparently I can't do anything right." he said addind a small strained laugh at the end. Hakkai held him tighter, "You do fine."

"You sure?" he asked quietly now holding him just as tight.

"I'm very sure."

"'kay, sooo...next time those two say differently you can tell 'em off right?" said Gojyo with a small laugh this time loosening his hold to look at him. Hakkai smiled coyly, "I suppose."

"Hehe. You're the best 'Kai...ne do you feel better? Considering the amount of darts you got hit with?"

"I'm okay...tired, but okay."

"All right, ya' don't have to help set up the camp if you feel tired. Ya' can let us handle that."

The monk glanced up at Goku as he spotted him coming over out the corner of his eye, he scoffed a little in some way glad that the monkey had came over to him…not that he'd let it show of course. "Didn't I warn you that I'd kill you if anyone bothered me?"

"Hakkai's okay, just thought I'd let you know..." said Goku sitting next to him.

"Tch, as long as he's not in that youkai form, who cares?" said the priest lighting another cigarette.

"Why the hells the camp not set up yet. Thought I asked you idiots to set it up."

"He's so upset..." said Goku sitting down. "I don't know how to help."

"And you think I do? Stupid chimp." Snorted the priest glancing to the healer and back to the youth in front of him. "He'll get over it." he added as an after thought.

"You hope..." Goku muttered under his breath.

"He's an idiot if he doesn't simple as that Goku..." Sanzo muttered back to him with a sigh.

"HAKKAI IS NOT AN IDIOT!" Goku yelled his golden eyes angry.

"DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ME MONKEY!" The priest yelled back glaring coldy at him before smacking him over the head with the fan.

"Tch, do it again and I'll kill you, got that? besides...this is all that stupid kappa's fault, it's his job to clear up the mess he's done, not ours..."

Goku covered his bruised head as he screamed. "YOU ARE SO STUPID SOMETIMES! HAKKAI AND GOJYO ARE IMPORTANT!"

The monks glare turned even colder as he smacked him just a tad harder with the fan. "You moron I don't care, can't you get that through that monkey skull of yours?!"

"Well you'd better START or we're WALKING to FUCKING CHINA!"

"You goddamned brat! Just WHO the hell do you think your talkin' to?! Don't you DARE speak to me like that!" Sanzo got up from his spot and stormed a bit away.

"I'm talking to you you arrogent BASTARD!" Goku was enraged now. "We almost lost Hakkai and I KNOW you care, and so do they, who the FUCK do you think you're fooling?!"

Sanzo turned his head sharply that cold glare still visible on his face.

"Like hell I care," He really wasn't wanting to draw that gun out but his hand was itching towards it again.

"What are you going to do Sanzo? Shoot me? Go ahead, I hate you when you get like this." Goku's young face was flush with rage.

"Tch, and? Like I care when and when you don't hate me chimp. What exactly do you want me to do? There's not fucking much I can do."

"You're right, you're helpless..." Goku turned and ran off into the woods.

"GOKU!" Sanzo yelled after him watching him run off. "That stupid goddamn monkey..." he muttered lowly glancing over to the other two to see if they'd been watching...maybe he should go after the monkey...no, why should he? He scoffed as he argued inwardly with his mind.

Goku stalked through the woods mad at everyone. He had never BEEN this angry. He punched a tree and it splintered with a crack. He was so angry he did not hear the figure come up behind him before he was felled with a dart to his neck. "SAN...!" Was all he got out, before he fell to the forest floor.

Sanzo's head turned to the direction the monkey ran in a bad feeling coming over him...a really bad feeling. "Tch, what the hell?" he muttered quietly not even noticing he was nearing the other two. He blinked looking up at the two.

"Something doesn't feel right... I'm going to look for Goku...You two, just stay here." He added moving away running off in the direction Goku went. Something deep within him told him that Goku was in trouble.


	23. Chapter 23

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (Sanzo x Goku: hmmm possibly you'll just needa wait and see won't you )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: Gojyo is a pervert enough said.

* * *

Gojyo blinked after the monk and looked to Hakkai. "Ne, do you think we should follow the monk?"

"You go..." Hakkai said quietly. "I can't really stand."

"I'm not leaving you behind 'Kai...not on your own." he replied glancing to the path Sanzo took.

"I'm sure the monk can let us know if there's anything up...what about sending Hakuryu?" He added thoughtfully.

"Good idea...Hakuryu?" The dragon cheeped and looked up from his place at Hakkai's side. "Go find them?" The dragon chirped and was off.

"You don't think that...those villagers will be coming after us...do you?"

"Could be." said Hakkai quietly.

"Cheh, great... I thought Sanzo had came out far enough...Are you okay Hakkai?"

"I'm fine Gojyo. Worried about Goku."

"Aa, yeah Sanzo seemed to have pissed him off more than I did...with him yellin' like that and all..."

"He's worried about me."

"I know, we all are Hakkai...even that stinkin' monk whether he says it out loud or not. Sanzo's just stubborn ya know that."

"I don't like it that you worry, any of you."

"We can't help it." He said simply looking at him.

"I'll be fine." said Hakkai quietly.

"I know ya will..." He muttered to him hugging him without a second thought. "Sorry if it sounds like I don't believe ya or whatever."

"Gojyo, really. I'll be fine." Hakkai let himself be hugged.

"I believe ya' really." said Gojyo resting his head against the healers. "Just wanna hug ya is all."

Hakkai blushed into his chest. "If you say so."

"Yeah I do say so." Gojyo replied with a small laugh

"You hug me like you're afraid I'm going to run away."

Gomen, I don't mean it to look that way...besides even if you were to do that I'd sure as hell be runnin' after ya you know."

"Seems to me I said the same to you not to long ago." Hakkai said with a smile. Gojyo smiled at that as well. "Yeah, I believe so. And of course you do know you wouldn't be able to run from me that easily anyway right?"

Hakkai's smile turned into a fake tight one. "I think I could beat you easily."

"Oh you do, do you? What makes you think that?" He asked menacingly. Hakkai shrugged, "We both know I have more endurance than you. You smoke."

"Yeah, used to I might add...though I'm guessing it'll still affect me to some extent ne?"

"I'd win, that's all there is to it." Hakkai grinned.

"Hmmm? You wish to test this theory of yours out? Hakkai-chan?" smirked Gojyo. He could act such a pervert right now...hell he'd forgotten already that the monk was finding his monkey. Hakkai's face turned bright red,

"I don't know what you mean."

"Really?" Gojyo asked shifting so their eyes met. "What'd be the reason for your face turning red then?"

Hakkai looked away suddenly very aware that Gojyo's crotch was very close to his backside. The kappa grinned and leaned his head towards the healers ear. "Right now, I'd say I win. hehe."

"We're not running..."

"I know, but you coulda been thinking of it and I coulda thought ahead ne?" He stuck his tongue out at him playfully. Hakkai looked at him with a critical expression..."I suppose."

"I'm playin, I'd give ya head start at least." The kappa muttered flicking his tongue out at his ear. Hakkai made a strange noise and arched a bit in Gojyo's arms. Gojyo couldn't resist but tease him a little more. He moved from the healer's ear to the side of his neck nipping gently at his skin.

"AH!" Hakkai gave a small cry and gripped Gojyo's shirt tightly at the contact.

Gojyo drew his head back a little, looking up at him. "Y'ok?" He asked quietly. Hakkai glared at him, panting.

"Besides you trying to eat my neck?"

"I wasn't tryin' to do that at all 'Kai, honest." Said Gojyo in an apologetic tone. "And need I remind you what that glare of yours does to me?" He added, a small smirk tugging at the side of his mouth.

"Gojyo, everything makes you horny, glare or no."

"Hmm I wouldn't say everything...just you." Gojyo said looking at him in the eye for a moment. "Gomen."

"Why are you apologising?"

"I dunno, for making you glare." He said, he thought he'd irritated him a little.

"Gojyo, are you loosing your sense of humor in your old age?" Hakkai said with a smile.

"Either that, or your glares getting better or your getting sneakier?" He smirked a little pulling healer to him more.

"Oh yes, I think you're just a coward."

Gojyo gave him a small playful pout. "I am not."

"Oh sure you're not, afraid of a thin little man..." Hakkai's green eyes sparkled.

"Ohhh? Why would I be afraid of you silly?" Gojyo asked with a grin. Hakkai's grin widened, "You tell me."

"I can't think of a reason why I'd want to be afraid of you."

"You've not got me into bed yet either..." Hakkai's grin was huge now but had a scary edge to it.

"Well, I couldn't exactly do anything to you in the hospital now could I?" Gojyo said as he eyed the grin as though trying to figure out if he was up to anything...a wide grin soon took over on his own mouth it was more menacing than ever to.

"Buuut, I guess if your out of there now...and those two aren't about...I might be convinced to."

"NOW?!" Hakkai said louder than he really wanted to.

"Yeah...Wellll I guess right here's a bit in the open but there's plenty of cover over there..." Damn he was good at getting that sorta reaction outta him. Hakkai's mouth dropped open.

"I'm not quite as vouristic as you I'm afraid."

"Prefer the indoors?"

"I..." Hakkai looked toward the woods. "what if Goku's hurt?"

The taller hanyou blinked, his mind went blank for a moment before he remembered that the monkey had ran off, Sanzo followed ...then they sent Hakuryu to go after them... yeah that sounded right.

"Shit, I forgot the monkey had actually ran off and not went to look for food or something...I should think he's fine...Sanzo's lookin for him and I haven't heard any shots from the gun...yet."

"Maybe they got him too..."

"Crap...do we just sit here and hope that they're okay? Surely they can't have caught Hakuryu as well?"

"I don't know..."

"Do you think you can walk?"

"Yes...we need to find them..." Hakkai stood on his own and offered a hand to Gojyo.

Gojyo nodded and took his hand pulling himself to stand upright. "They couldn't have gone far...at least I freakin hope not."


	24. Chapter 24

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (Sanzo x Goku: hmmm possibly you'll just needa wait and see won't you )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: TEASER CHAPTER!!!!

* * *

Sanzo stopped backing up against a tree after spotting some people, most likely villagers from the town surrounding Goku muttering between themselves. Tch, great...just fucking peachy timing. He went to move accidentally stepping on a thin branch, making it snap. He cursed himself for giving his location away after the men turned.  
"Who's there...Show yourself!" One man called over. Before they could come over to pull him out of his hiding spot Sanzo stepped out with a sigh, his hand placed near his gun...just incase...he could always disarm people.  
"I believe the one your crowding there...belongs to me." Sanzo said in his calm and cold voice.

"Belongs to you?...you mean this friend of the ones that killed some of our own townsmen?! You're involved as well?"  
"Tch, you're an idiot, we had nothing to do with what happened."  
"You lie! You obviously helped them escape!"  
"Oh? Have I now?" Sanzo questioned glancing about him...he couldn't let them all be captured now could he. "I don't see them here...now let him go..."  
"I'm afraid I can't do that, priest. He'll need to come back with us for questioning...and on that note you will to."  
'Fuck,' "I'm not going anywhere and either is he...If those two had escaped they'll be long gone, we left without them." The monk muttered warningly he had a feeling this wasn't going to go his way this time.  
"The great Sanzo party split up? I don't believe you for a minute..." The man said ordering a couple beside him to aim the darts at the priest. Sanzo glared at them just daring them to go ahead...of course cursing when they had. One dart hit his raised arm and the other caught on the sleeve of the robe. He tore the dart from his arm and threw it to the ground. He tried keeping steady but collapsed to the ground a few moments later. "Stupid ...monkey..." He muttered quietly before blacking out.

Hakuryu flew as quickly as he could back to the men frightened that the villagers had got his friends. He fell into Hakkai's arms with a squeak of fright. Gojyo looked down at the little dragon. "He looks outta breath..." He muttered to the healer.

"They're in trouble..." Hakkai said sprinting back toward where Hakuryu had come from.

"Hakkai, wait up for me..." The kappa called after him breaking into a sprint of his own to catch up. What if there were a lot of them again? Not that he planned on letting them win or anything. Hakkai followed the slight movement of Hakuryu's head as he ran through the woods.

Gojyo followed closely dodging an uplifted tree root, last thing he needed was to trip up. He slowed slightly seeing something up ahead it looked like figures.


	25. Chapter 25

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (Sanzo x Goku: hmmm possibly you'll just needa wait and see won't you )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: Hakkai and Gojyo stumble into a trap. Yes there is even more events occuring since the village took action.

* * *

The figures the kappa saw up ahead were those of Sanzo and Goku, lying unconscious on the forest floor. Little did they know at this point that there was an actual trap waiting for them. When they finally neared their companions Gojyo strode to Sanzo while Hakkai fell at Goku's side, checking for a pulse, "He's alive..." he breathed.

"He is? Good... Wonder if his royal pain in the ass is to." Gojyo muttered in reply kneeling beside the monk feeling at his wrist for a pulse. "Cheh, as suspected...stubborn bastard won't go that easily..."

Hakki looked at Gojyo and held up a familiar dart. "Bastards..." his eyes went hard.

"You've gotta...be...shittin me...these two got darted?!" Gojyo looked at the monk again picking a dart from him too. "Those...goddamn..." He muttered showing it to the healer. A thought ran through his head, if they were darted then…

"Wait...why did they leave them here?"

"Shit!" Hakkai sprung to his feet with chi ready in his hand. Gojyo didn't need to ask what was on his mind as it was bound to be the exact same as his…a goddamn trap, and they'd walked right into it without thinking. Gojyo summoned his shakujou and stood ready to take on whatever their surprise attackers could throw. "Cheh..."

A dart whizzed past Hakkai missing him by mere centimetres...someone had a bad aim, another one whizzed out from another direction hitting him on his sleeve not able to penetrate the skin through the thick material. One that came from behind though managed to hit his neck, luckily it was one of the low dosage ones…it meant he had time to act still before blacking out.

Another dart came in from yet another direction, aimed at Gojyo hitting his leg. Hakkai put up a shield at once and took Gojyo under the arm. "Let's go."

"Shit, yeah what about those two...and they didn't get you did they..." The kappa asked, looking up at him. He looked back round glaring at a couple of the villagers that decided to now show themselves...oh how he felt like letting that blade fly.

"They're not who they're after..." He looked long and hard at Gojyo and let him drop. "It's me."

"AH!" Gojyo looked up at the healer from the ground with a look of 'oi'

"I'm not gonna let them get you Hakkai..." he used the crescent bladed staff to support himself upright, damn that dosage must've been really weak...he only had a numbing leg.  
"Get them already!" One villager shouted firing another dart in their direction.

"I'm here!" Hakkai screamed and tore off into the woods with out as much as a glance at the kappa.

"Ha-" Gojyo lifted his head up to look after Hakkai, oh he just did not..."HAKKAI!!" He yelled after him. A couple of the villagers gave chase after him not bothering with Gojyo. The kappa watched a few of them before he growled in annoyance under his breath and without thinking twice he kept a steady balance best he could on his good leg and swung the staff letting the blade fly into the air, smirking slightly...not that he noticed he was doing that...as it laid into a few of the villagers.

"Don't think you're gonna give him all the attention and not give me any now do ya'" He muttered darkly to no one in particular.

Hakkai ran and jumped over a rope set on the ground only to be greeted with a cliff wall, he turned to face the villagers, his eyesight starting to fade. Villagers closed in on him armed with darts. One looked around though noticing there certainly were less number than before.

"Where the hell are the others?" Another ran up behind the man panting but answered. "Some are dead...that bastard of a half-breed attacked them...Only a few managed to escape alive."

"Shit...we can deal with him after we deal with this one." He said turning to face the healer in front of him.

"That pathetic half-breed friend of yours is going to wish he'd never killed our men." he said lowly.

"You will not touch Gojyo..." Hakkai said with a sigh. "I go quietly, just leave him and my friends be."

"The monk...and the boy...we could let go...But that half-breed...won't be so lucky," The man snorted. None of the villagers lowered their weapons waiting for a command to let the darts fly at him.

"Please..." Hakkai fell to his knees. "Please I beg you, leave him be, I will take his punishment."

"You'd do such a thing for one who's nothing but bad luck and an abomination?" the man asked harshly not caring for the half-breed, hell he still thought of imprisoning the half-breed anyway just for what he was.

"I would. Let him go, I beg you. He only did what he's done to protect me. And it is I who killed your men."

"Hah...and just why would he want to protect someone like you?" the man asked stepping forward a little. "From what we heard you're a demon, why would anyone –half-breed or not- want to protect a youkai?"

"Please, just...please. I'll take it, I'll take the punishment. Please leave them be."

"No, I don't think we will. There's just no fun in not watching a half-breed suffer as well as a demon." smirked the man. "We'll take you all back to the village; it's what we've been ordered to do after all."

"I take them off..." Hakkai put his hand to his cuffs. "Then you won't have a choice, you'll all be dead."

"Ohhhh, now we choose to get all defensive...what's the matter? Can't handle us mere humans on your own? And what will you do if those who survived your friends attack...killed him and the other two. "

"Then you'll be dead, and I trust them more than that. I'll take them off, before you can hit me with one of those darts. I'm offering to go quietly."

"And I'm telling you that we were to bring all four of you back. It's not actually us deciding your fate." the man snapped back at him. Hakkai stared at him and tipped his head curiously, then fell unconscious to the ground.

A couple of men moved in picking the healer up roughly after tying his hands behind his back. "What do we do now?" "We go back and hope that the half-breed has been put under as well."

They arrived back at the trap area a few of their men still remained luckily the half breed was unconscious as well. They took them back to the village and they'd have to wait until they'd all woken up before deciding on what to do with them.


	26. Chapter 26

A good few hours later, The Sanzo ikkou have been captured and placed two separate cells.

Goku woke up and his mouth felt fuzzy. He licked at his lips with his dry tongue. "Ohhhh. I feel siiiick" he groaned.

"Tch...urusee...bakazaru..." Sanzo muttered next to him just being stirred awake from the monkeys whining. He felt to say the least...queasy as well.

"If you're going to puke do it elsewhere..." He added placing a finger and thumb onto his temples rubbing them gently from a headache that started up.

"Where?" Goku groaned. "Oh my stomach is too empty to throw up."

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (Sanzo x Goku: hmmm possibly you'll just needa wait and see won't you )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: The Sanzou Ikkou have been captured...what will happen when they are taken back to the cells?

* * *

"Where? What the hell do y- where the fuck...are we?!" the priest hissed lowly as his eyes finally focused on their surroundings. He looked over at the other two. "Those morons..."

"Hey!" Goku scrambled over to the bars dividing the four friends. "WAKE UP!" He shook the bars.

"Goku...shut up, you're making my headache worse damnit..." Sanzo muttered not bothering to strike at the chimp. He hardly had the energy.

Gojyo stirred at the shouting feeling that familiar sick feeling coming over him, he hated that feeling. He groaned and mumbled something at the voice.

"Gojyo!" Goku ignored Sanzo, he was still mad at his keeper, he remembered. "Hey are you okay?!"

Gojyo blinked and sat up slowly, his body ached and a hand covered his mouth for a moment as he looked around, he knew this place.

"Cheh...fucking peachy..." He muttered after a moment, realising where they were soon enough. Sanzo huffed and looked away from the saru, his mind remembered what had happened earlier. "Tch..."

Goku shook the nauseous feeling in his head. "Urg, is it always this bad?" he asked Gojyo.

"You say that like I've been darted more than once...twice...but I'm guessing it is always this bad saru...how's that stupid monk?" Gojyo asked lifting his eyes to glance at Goku.

"I don't know; ask him yourself, I'm sure he can talk..." Goku didn't look back.

"You're still mad?" asked the kappa, he'd remembered why the hell they were back here alright, the monkey had ran off then Sanzo had gone to find him then he and Hakkai had gone to look for them...and hey presto they were back at square one. "Ch...oi, houshi-sama how you holding up over there?"  
"Tch, shut up you stupid Kappa." Sanzo muttered to him in a harsh tone. He was feeling...well he didn't know, he was just annoyed at the fact Goku wasn't talking to him.  
"I'll take that as you're fuckin' peachy too sir.SourAss." Gojyo looked back at Goku. "What about you monkey?"

"I'm okay...how's Hakkai?" Goku motioned with his head to the still passed out healer on the floor.

"Hakkai?" The red-head turned to look over his shoulder at the healer, he cursed under his breath and crawled himself over to his side. "Hey...'Kai?" Gojyo said quietly trying to gently stir the healer awake.

"Gojyo?" Hakkai opened a bleary eye. "Shit."

"Are you okay?" Gojyo asked scanning his body over with his eyes.

"Those bastards never done anything to you did they?" he added once he'd laid his eyes back on Hakkai's.

"No, no I'm fine. You've got to get out of here."

"Of course...we all have, and that means you to...I'm not leaving you behind." The kappa muttered remembering what he'd told Goku.

"They won't let you go otherwise."

"Hakkai...don't make me say it again ne?"

"Tch you idiots...we're all getting out of here together or not at all..." Sanzo said to them still not facing them.

"Yeah!" Goku said loudly. "It'll be okay Hakkai you'll see."

"That's that settled!" Gojyo smirked at the healer. "We're getting outta here together. No arguments."  
"And I thought the Saru was ignoring me." The monk mused casually but only loud enough for Goku to make out the words. Hakkai sighed quietly. "What's your plan then?"

"I haven't thought of that yet... bu-"  
"Just blow a fucking hole in the wall already and Goku can use his head." Sanzo snorted fixing his eyes on the back of the monkey. He was determined to get the saru to answer him.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Goku turned hurt golden eyes on the priest.

"It means you help with an escape plan, what the hell else?" Sanzo replied locking the monkeys gaze with his own. Goku rolled his eyes, "That's Hakkai's job."  
Hakkai looked at Gojyo, clearly not going to get involved in this and telling his friend to stay out too. Gojyo shook his head, he didn't plan on getting involved with their little tiff.

"Tch, baka we're in different cells... use that brain of yours will you." The priest muttered.

"Dont' call me an idoit then ask me to THINK!"

Sanzo stood up resting his body against the bars behind him. "Why you little...I told you not to talk back to me like that!"  
Gojyo glanced over; he so wanted to say something but was going to restrain himself for now.

"What are you going to do? Hit me with your stupid fan...oh I'm so scared!" Goku mocked.

"I'll do more than hit you with the fucking fan..." Sanzo warned reaching a hand into his robes for the gun.

"Don't think they disarmed you?" Goku said sticking out his tongue. "And okay, go ahead and shoot me. I'm not afraid to die."

"Tch..." The monk withdrew his hand; damnit they did take the damned thing he stormed on over to Goku smacking him over the head with a fist.

"Moron, I have other things than a fan and gun, just you remember that!"   
"Oh for the love of..." Gojyo muttered, not able to hold his words any longer. "Will you two just fucking kiss and make up already! GEEZ!" Sanzo glared up at the kappa not uttering a word to him. Goku sat on the floor of the cell holding his head and biting his lip to hold his childish tears in check.

"Sanzo ya goddamn prick!" Gojyo matched the monks glare if not better. "Why can't you just drop your stupid pride for once and tell the monkey you're sorry for once!"  
Sanzo looked away and looked at Hakkai before looking to Goku. He wasn't about to listen to the kappa. No chance in hell.

"Tch bastard, I swear I'm gonna put a hole in the pretty head of yours as soon as we're outta here."

"I don't care if he's sorry or not, he's an ass hole." Goku said quietly.

"C'mon Goku we've known that for a while." Gojyo said to him lowering his tone at the monkey.  
"Tch...deal with it saru." Sanzo muttered. He knew himself he was too stubborn to say anything like 'I'm sorry' to him or any of them...this was all Gojyo's fault...yup.

"SHUT UP!" Goku screamed.  
"Both of you hush..." Hakkai said firmly. "There's no reason to fight over this until we're free."

"..." Sanzo just stared and huffed away back to his side of the cell glaring at the wall as though it had said something to him too.

Gojyo sighed a little looking to the monk and then to Goku. "Oi, Goku..." the tone of Gojyo's voice had the words of 'don't let him get to you' to it.

"What?" Goku grumped.

"Why not leave the old monk to sulk in his corner quietly while you help me think of a plan to get our asses outta here?" Gojyo suggested to him.

"I don't give a fuck how you get out of here." Goku said crabbily.

"Goku... "Gojyo said narrowing his eyes a little. He wasn't about to be used as a freaking vent toy. "You can vent all you want, but not on me." the kappa added. Goku just held his head. Hakkai sighed. "This is wonderful..." he jumped to his feet as a clatter came from outside the door.

"Cheh... great morons at twelve...besides the one in the corner" Gojyo said lowly turning his head to the door. Sanzo mumbled something at that comment but looked up at the door as well.  
"No doubt they'll want to talk to me."


	27. Chapter 27

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (Sanzo x Goku: hmmm possibly you'll just needa wait and see won't you )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: And so enter the man who hates half-breeds and youkai to pieces...and a character death could be happening...

* * *

A man opened the door followed by two others into the room. The taller of the three looked at them all showing more disgust for the red-head than the others.

"So these are the ones responsible." He said turning to the man next to him.

"Well, those two-" The other indicated to the priest and monkey. "-are supposedly just companions."

"So then...that man and...half-breed...those are the ones that attacked the men?"

"I did not." Said Hakkai with a glare.

"Did you not? Then I suppose it was this...that attacked the men here before you fled?" He referred Gojyo to this...he hated half-breeds more than youkai themselves strangely enough. Gojyo glared.

"Just who the fuck do you think you're referring to as 'this' ya fucking moron!" he spat, getting riled up easily."

"I'd shut your friend up if you want him to live longer." The man said looking to Hakkai giving him a cold smile. Hakkai leapt to his feet, "I warned you..."

"You warned me of what?" asked the man showing no emotion towards the healer. Gojyo stood up still glowering at the man.

"I'll take off these limiters and have your head!" Hakkai snarled. Sanzo looked over to Hakkai, was he really serious about taking drastic measures or really trying to get them into bother. He said nothing though, as much as he hated to admit it, Hakkai could be scary when pissed off.  
"Threatening us are we, my aren't you the brave one." The man chuckled at Hakkai. Gojyo glared harder, it was nearly turning into a race to see who could kill this guy first, shaking his head clear of the thought he turned to Hakkai watching to see what his next move was.

"It's more than a threat..." Hakkai said gathering chi in his hand not on his limiters, "It's a promise."

"Oh?" The man mused, the smirk on his face growing cockier.  
"Hakkai, don't you do anything stupid." Sanzo called over to the healer. He wanted to be out of here, not kept in here for longer. Gojyo looked at the chi and smirked a little mischieviously.

"Aww, I liked the idea of having his head better."

Hakkai tore the limiters off and was to the bars before they could blink. His clawed hand reached through the bars at the man and he growled harshly.

"You had to go and encourage him you stupid kappa!" Sanzo yelled at him.  
"So, he shows his true self. More hideous than your usual demon yet not as much as the half-breed." said the man lowly staring at the demons clawed hand. He shook his head a little and turned walking away to the wall.  
"What the fuck did you say?!" snapped Gojyo, if he could he'd try squeeze himself through those bars right about now. "Come over here and say that to our faces you goddamned wuss!"  
Goku stared at the whole thing with his mouth hanging open in shock. "Want me to kill him?" Goku asked quietly.

"Stay out of it Goku, those two can handle this on their own." Sanzo said to him. "I mean it Goku don't get involved in it."

"Now, why would I want to do that? Do you take me for such a fool? I wouldn't go near you if I had to I'm afraid." The man turned after taking something down from the wall. He trained a gun -not much bigger than Sanzo's- at the redhead and didn't think twice about pulling the trigger.


	28. Chapter 28

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (Sanzo x Goku: hmmm possibly you'll just needa wait and see won't you )

Warnings: Disturbing Imagery,Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: Demon Hakkai One pissed off Youkai nuff said.

* * *

Gojyo swore loudly and repeatedly "B-bastard!" he fell back onto the ground glaring up at the attacker after the shot landed on his leg. Sanzo snorted, that idiot was gonna die now, he doubted Hakkai would allow the man off so lightly now. The bars were gone in seconds and the Youkai had the man around the neck with one hand and the gun broken in half in the other. "Bad move." He snarled.

"Wh-Impossible! Those bars were said to hold demons!" The man said, his nervousness starting to get the better of him.  
"Tch moron, the only one that gets to shoot at the kappa is me." Sanzo shouted at the man. "Hakkai deal with Gojyo, his friggin whinging is giving me a headache!"

"Let me break his neck first..." said the demon. Squeezing the man's throat a little and lifting him off the ground.

"DAMNIT Hakkai! I mean NOW!" Sanzo shouted louder at the youkai.  
Gojyo hissed in pain as he stood up, or tried anyway. "Ch, baka...houshi, i'm..fine damnit!" He looked up when the door swung open, some men pouring in and aimed darts at the youkai.  
"I'd advise you let me go demon...those darts contain a lot more lethal dosages that have a great effect on the likes of you!" The man said to the youkai through choking cries.  
"Tch...This is just fantastic..." the priest muttered watching Gojyo try to fend off a few of them.  
"I'll break your neck in half before I die..." Hakkai grinned. "It'll be lovely."

"Goku..." The monk turned to the monkey his eyes silently telling him to help get rid of the men.  
"You're willing to die and leave your friend behind?" The man snorted the best he could adding an amused laugh. In all there were five men there three turning on Gojyo now.  
"Hakkai! one word...VINE!" Gojyo shouted to him backing up against the cell wall his leg was too painful to move. The vines were there in moments, wrapped around the guards and men flooding the cell room. Goku was helping too as best he could, even gathering the strength to break through the bars but Hakkai still held the man by his neck. Gojyo gave a short sigh of relief before forcing himself to go over to the youkai, winding past the trapped men in the vines and cursing under his breath with every pained step.

"Will you two like to hurry things up! There's probably a ton of those morons coming!" Sanzo said in a raised voice.

"Get out." Growled the youkai Hakkai to them. "Get out NOW!"

"Tch, you really plan on taking these guys out by yourself?" Sanzo questioned while stopping at the doorway looking at him. Gojyo winced; he'd forgotten briefly that he'd been shot. "Hakkai, you sure you'll be okay on your own?"  
"GET OUT!" the youkai roared.

"Damnit kappa move your ass already!" Sanzo hissed irritably moving to the watersprite and grabbed his arm. He looked up at the demon with those cold violets. "You better make out alive Hakkai...or else" the monk turned to head out dragging the kappa with him. "Goku!"

"RIGHT!" Goku grabbed Gojyo to help him with his leg. "Let's go Gojyo..." he pushed through the mass of men tied up with vines.

"You sure he'll be okay in there?" muttered Gojyo glancing behind his shoulder. "I should probably stay..." He added, he didn't want the youkai to fight alone he wanted to stay and protect him.   
"Shut up idiot, let me guess you're thinking if he gets hurt it'll be your fault again and you won't have kept your promise to Goku." Sanzo muttered his eyes flickered to Goku for a moment.

"Hakkai's fine in there, it's not your fault if he gets hurt. You're leg is more something to worry about! You're bleeding your cockroach blood EVERYWHERE!"

"He's right and if you struggle and your blood stains my robes...I'll fuckin' kill you, got it?" the monk muttered sending a small glare to the hanyou, of course not meaning it literally but hoped it'd make the kappa not struggle. Gojyo stayed quiet trying so hard not to curse and swear at his stupid leg.

When they reached to outside of the building Sanzo motioned to some bushes they could use for cover for now.

"We should go there, just incase there are fucking more idiots around here besides those inside with Hakkai and you two."

"How will we meet up with Hakkai again?" asked Goku even as Hakuryu found his way to the boy's arms. "Where'd you come from?" He asked the dragon simply. The animan squeeked.

"Simple, you keep an eye out for him, is it that hard to use that brain of yours?" The monk asked dropping Gojyo's arm and let him lean against Goku more while he sparked up a cigarette after miraculously finding one loose in the robes.  
"The dragon's probably the only one out of us lot that had the brains not let themselves be caught." said Gojyo taking some of his own body weight off the monkey.  
"What makes you think I didn't? If the monkey hadn't run off..." The priest left it there; he knew damn well that it was he that made the monkey storm off in the first place.

"What about NOW Sanzo? Still not care about Hakkai?"

The monk never answered him, instead he glared over at Goku with hardened eyes.  
"Hey! Don't you two fucking start…what about me? I'm fuckin' dying over here you bastards!" Gojyo complained in a groan lying back on the ground.

"OH!" Goku ripped a piece off his cape and wrapped it around Gojyo's leg. "We'll have to get the bullet out."

"Tch if you expect me to do it you have another thing coming." Sanzo huffed taking a draw from his cigarette.  
"Cheh I wasn't counting on you monk, the monkey's way more reliable..." The kappa said straining a smirk to play over his lips, he looked up at Goku. "Right monkey?"

gold eyes got huge. "No way! My hands are dirty, let's get a doctor, or wait for Hakkai." Gojyo snorted a laugh.

"Come on Goku...a doctor...from where exactly? I doubt that any...not even that Doctor Tam guy would help me now ya' know." He shook his head a little sitting himself up a little. "I'll wait for Hakkai...and thanks monkey."

"You sure?" Goku said worriedly. "You gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, yeah..." Gojyo waved a hand at him. "I'll be just fine. Don't worry about me."

"Who would, apart from him and Hakkai?" snorted the monk crushing his cigarette out while watching the entrance of the building for the healer. Goddamnit what was taking him so long to take care of a few idiots?

"I DO!" Goku said anxiously to Gojyo. "I care!"

Gojyo sighed with a smirk and reached over to playfully ruffle the boys hair. "I know that chimp, but I'm saying that I'm fine. Leg injury is nothin...Just worry about Hakkai."

"Should I go back in?" Goku was practically jumping. "I can kick some ass!"

"Do whatever the hell you want Goku. But if Hakkai turns on you by accident don't come running to me about it." Sanzo muttered to him, though he didn't want the monkey to go back alone. He didn't exactly want to baby-sit the kappa either. Gojyo could read that stupid monk like a friggin book at times.

"You can both go if you like."

"No I'll go..." Goku was gone in a flash. But he ran into Hakkai on his way in. The healer was in his human form again but he was torn up. He gave Goku a small smile and used him for support as he held his side to make his way to the others in the bushes. Sanzo rolled his eyes and turned them to the kappa on the ground...so he ended up kappasitting after all...damn. His head turned to the other side again hearing them come back. He looked at the healer briefly. "About time you got your sorry ass outta there."  
Gojyo shoved himself upright almost toppling over again as he did. "Hakkai, you okay?"

Hakuryu squealed and wrapped himself around Hakkai's neck. The healer smiled and scratched his neck with a gentle finger. He knelt at Gojyo's front and gently healed the bullet wound, pulling out the bullet with his chi. He didn't say anything but smiled up at the kappa before collapsing from exhaustion.


	29. Chapter 29

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (Sanzo x Goku: hmmm possibly you'll just needa wait and see won't you )

Warnings: Suicide attempt, Disturbing Imagery(they're in a hospital later on...shudders ), Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: And once again they make haste and escape out the town before anything else can happen...question is...how long can the peace last?

* * *

Gojyo caught the healer barely just managing to stop him from hitting the ground completely and kneeled on the ground holding the healer in his arms. He panicked at first but relaxed again quickly.  
"Hakkai you baka...the hell have I told you about usin all your chi energy on me?" He muttered quietly before looking up to Goku a little.

"Damned moron, he better wake up soon or else." Sanzo muttered staring at the building. Shit, he didn't find his gun did he? ...great now he'd have to go look for it.

"What's wrong?" Goku asked looking at the monk.

"It's nothing." The blond replied moving forward towards the building scanning the place before he walked out into the open just incase there were anyone still heading towards it. Gojyo looked after the monk and turned his gaze back to the monkey. "Oi, Goku maybe you should go with him."

"Yeah, okay well..." Goku quickened his pace and caught up with the monk falling in line with him. He looked up at the monk. "Where are we going?"

"Back in there...where the hell else?" Sanzo asked sarcastically making sure everything was clear enough and walked hastily to the building stopping at the entrance.

"Why in...here..." Goku's question died on his lips at the carnage before him. "Holy fuck."

"Tch...damned moron coulda cleaned up after himself..." Sanzo muttered to no one and stepped round the carnage best he could turning to look back at Goku.

"Don't just stand there stupid, help me look for my goddamn gun already!" Sanzo muttered and went back to searching himself.

"He did all this..." Goku stared at the ruined humans before him, their blood staining the floor red.

"Well they certainly didn't do it themselves now did they..." The priest said. He wasn't exactly wanting to be in this place for long, this just wasn't a pleasant sight at all, the idiot didn't have to go this far.

"He's...gotten worse."

"Goku! We can discuss that sort of thing when we get back...just help me find the damned gun so we can get outta here fuckin quicker!"

"Sanzo no, this isn't like him. Somethin's wrong here."

"Tch, what. It better not be anything stupid otherwise I'll kill you." Sanzo looked at him stopping his search for the gun momentarily.

"He's not ruthless like this...he has more control, something went wrong..."

"Maybe it's got something to do with the kappa..."

"I don't know, but this...this just wasn't fair."

"Nothing's fair Goku..." said Sanzo looking down to a small box on the floor where the gun lay, perfect. Now they could get the hell out of here. He walked over to the monkey stopping next to him. "Come on."

"Yeah..." said Goku not able to take his eyes off the blood and guts as he followed Sanzo. Reaching the outside Sanzo turned his gaze to the monkey while stashing his gun away once he made sure it was loaded. "Are you mad?"

"What?"

"At Hakkai. I'm asking you if you're feeling mad at him."

"No, no I can't be, not after all I've done as a demon. It wouldn't be fair."

"Good... Tch, and I'll assume you're still angry with me." The monk said looking forward again.

"Yeah, I am..." said Goku plainly.

"Bakazaru."

Gojyo greeted them tiredly when they got back. "So you get what you wanted?"  
"Of course, idiot." Replied the monk with a sigh. Goku knew he must be pale, "It's a mess in there."

"Huh? You look a little white there Goku...what do you mean a mess...wait, did Hakkai..." Gojyo didn't think that he was going to kill everyone of them.  
"Of course he did you moron who the hell else did it?" Sanzo barked at him.

Goku swallowed, "He was brutal..."

Gojyo looked down at the healers form. "Shit yer kiddin'...damnit I knew I shoulda stayed."  
"What could you have done exactly?" Sanzo asked.  
"I coulda…probably made him stop that's what!"  
"He would have killed you too," said Goku quietly looking at the healer's calm face with fear.

"He would not..." The kappa muttered to Goku glancing up at him a little.  
"Sure he wouldn't have killed you, stupid kappa...he'd just leave you in tiny bits." Sanzo snorted...sounding a little amused at the same time. Goku put a hand on Sanzo's arm. "That's not funny."

"You're right." said the monk plainly. "It's hilarious." he added his voice hinting a heavy amount of sarcasm as he shrugged his arm out of the youths grasp.  
"Gee monk, love you to." Gojyo said while rolling his eyes at the priest.

"We should go..." said Goku. "Someone's coming."

"Shit... yeah let's get outta here." Gojyo said as he stood and picked the healer up at the same time.  
"Hakuryu transform into the jeep." Sanzo said in a commanding tone to the dragon.  
"Cheh, if the dragon obeys your wish Sanzo, even I'll be surprised... Oi Goku who d'ya thinks coming to try annoy us now?" Gojyo asked with a small smirk on his face.

"More villiagers..." the dragon looked at his fallen master then flew from about his neck and transformed into the jeep.

"Thought as much...the further we go the less likely there gonna catch up to us...and please for the love of god go FURTHER than you did last time ya stupid monk!" Gojyo complained while placing Hakkai in the back and hopped into the back as well. Sanzo muttered something under his breath and got in the driver side again.

"As long as they don't carry darts then we'll be escaping easily." He added. Gojyo groaned at the word.  
"Shut up about those things already!"

Goku hit Jeeps bumper as he jumped onto the tail hatch and took a flying leap into the passenger seat.

"GO!"


	30. Chapter 30

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (Sanzo x Goku: hmmm possibly you'll just needa wait and see won't you )

Warnings: Disturbing Imagery, Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: The Sanzo-Ikkou have managed to escape and everything seems to be going fine.

* * *

"Tch...don't blame me if any of you fall out of the damned car." Sanzo said to them while stepping on it…as usual the speed being a little over the top.  
"Damnit Sanzo! Are you tryin' to kill us?! Hey, Goku... when you came back with Hakkai...was he, bleedin this badly?" Gojyo asked just noticing the fresher looking blood seeping through Hakkai's clothing. Sanzo uttered something in annoyance. "Don't tell me he got badly injured and decided to heal you instead of himself...idiot." 

"He can't heal himself Sanzo, Gojyo said so, right Gojyo?" Goku asked. "I didn't look..." he answered the kappa, looking over the seat at Hakkai curiously.

"Monkey's right monk, he can't heal himself." Gojyo said moving himself a little so he could undo the healers top and slide it off to take a better look at him. "Damn, he really took a few hits..." said the kappa quietly. "Cheh, monkey gimme a hand here will ya?"

"What do ya want from me? All the med supplies are in Hakkai's pack." He pointed toward the back of the Jeep.

"Cheh I knew that smartass..." Gojyo muttered up at him and leaned over Hakkai to raid through the pack for the med supplies, pulling them out and placing them on the floor of Jeep.

"Okay...guess all I can do is patch him up ...with what we have left." He cleaned up the wounds littered on the healer's body and placed band aids on the not so serious looking ones while bandaging up the worse looking ones.  
"I swear if you turn him into a freaking mummy I'll kill you." Sanzo said glancing at the kappa in the mirror.

"Better safe than sorry." Said Goku grimly over the seat.

"Is there ever going to be a day when you two AREN'T giving the impression that I'm bad at everything?" Gojyo said finishing off the last bandage. "There...he doesn't look so bad..." He looked up to Goku. "Does he?" He asked...obviously referring to the bandages.

"Looks good enough to me." said Goku with a shrug, his brown hair whipping about his face as the wind sped past.

"Thank you. See Sanzo!"  
"Tch, whatever. It's nothing to brag about idiot." Sanzo snorted still keeping the speed up and making sure that they did indeed travel further than before.  
"We'll stop and make up camp when we're far enough." he added.

"Hakkai can have my sleeping bag tonight..." said Goku to Gojyo. "He's too beat up to sleep on just one sleeping bag."

"And where do you plan to sleep?" Gojyo asked, he looked up at him with a playful smirk. "Are you planning on sleeping with the monk in his sleeping bag?"  
"Gojyo...You're going to die." Sanzo muttered lowly to the kappa knowing exactly where the stupid kappa was planning on taking the conversation.

"No, I'll sleep with you." said Goku simply.

"...WHAT?!" Gojyo half yelled looking at the monkey like he was a ghost.

"Well why the hell not?!" Goku yelled back.

"He'll refuse to because you're no woman and you're not Hakkai. That's why." Sanzo said to the monkey. "And keep the yelling down, you might give us away."

"Yeah but, Gojyo can sleep in Hakkai's tent and I can sleep in his sleeping back...what's the big deal?"

"So say that next time instead of saying you'll sleep WITH him. Bakazaru." Sanzo barked at the youth next to him.  
"Ohhoh? Do I detect a hint of jealousy in the illustious one's voice?" Gojyo sniggered while glancing to him out the corner of his eye.  
"Do you want to die? I have no idea what you're talking about you stupid kappa." Sanzo replied sending him a glare via the mirror.

"Jealous? Why would Sanzo be jealous?" Goku looked between the two men.

"Now see what you've done you damned cockroach?!" Sanzo snapped at the kappa going a little red in the face.  
"And now he blushes...haha." Gojyo grinned evilly for a split moment and turned his attention to the monkey. "Why is he jealous? Because you said you'd sleep with me and not him, that's why."  
"...Did I mention you were going to die? A very slow and fucking painful death?" the priest growled in annoyance. The kappa was lucky he was concentrating on getting as far away from the town other than turning to shoot his brains out.

"So what?" Goku stared at Sanzo. "Why would you care who I sleep with?"

Gojyo was in a fit of laughter when the monks face just seemed to go a brighter shade of red and he stayed quiet.

"Ohhh? I think someone's likin' the monkey."  
"That's it he's a dead kappa..." The monk growled again, gritting his teeth together.

"Liking...I don't understand...what does that have to do with sleeping together...?" Goku had the question written all over his face. He hadn't made the connection between sleeping and sex yet.

"Be glad you don't get it...I fucking wish I didn't." Sanzo muttered to him. That kappa had better not make this worse...or he seriously would earn a bullet hole in that perverted head of his.  
"I'll say it simpler for you monkey...he loves ya'" Gojyo said grinning. Oh how much fun this was indeed...he could keep tormenting the priest all day long. He snickered quietly when the monks eyes just shadowed over a little. Goku looked flabbergasted...

"You do?...what does that have to do with sleeping?"

"Well, do you remember when we were at that restaurant Goku? The one we took Hakkai to when he was allowed for the first time in a while?" Gojyo asked.

"Yeah sure..."

"Don't.You.Fucking.Dare.Kappa." Sanzo hissed through his still gritting teeth. Gojyo continued however, his grin was growing wider.  
"And do you remember the conversation we had? Where you said Sanzo would be the only one outta' us you'd have sex with?"

"And what does that have to do with sleeping?" said Goku, clearly very confused.

"Forget it Goku." Sanzo hissed, anger clear in his tone. "Not another fucking word about it Kappa."

The monkey's golden eyes were blinking rapidly as he tried to think. Maybe sex wasn't what he thought it was.

"You better not be thinking about that either monkey." Sanzo muttered glancing to him, his face rid of the red colour now.  
"If he is he is, how much farther do you plan on going monk?" Gojyo asked casually taking a moment to glance at the healer again.  
"Far enough to find a large enough river that I can easily drown you in." Sanzo replied while thinking about that…yes that actually did seem a good idea.

"I don't get it..." Goku pouted, slouching in his seat as his brain hurt at him.

"Tch, good. If you were to get it and then get perverted ideas like the stupid water sprite I'd have to kill you." Sanzo huffed a little.  
"Of course you wouldn't kill him because you love him to much." Gojyo smirked.  
"I'm.Going.To.Kill.You." The monk answered quietly.

"Sleeping isn't perverted though is it?"

"No, but if you think the way he does then yes it is." Sanzo muttered to Goku, his thoughts still on how he could slowly kill that kappa.

"But how can sleeping BE perverted. I don't fucking GET it!

"You moron, think about it...what did Gojyo usually do WITH women if he was sleeping with them!"

"Uh...sleep is sleep..." said Goku. "Doesn't sound very fun..." He turned to look at Gojyo. "What does that mean anyway, do you really just sleep?"

Sanzo shook his head a little, it couldn't be that hard. "Think pervert and women in a bed." He muttered. Gojyo simply laughed at the whole thing and looked up at the monkey with a wink. "Only sometimes, it depended."

"They're gonna have sex, but that's not sleeping..." Goku said clearly getting very annoyed with them both.

"Basically Goku...it can be used to say you had sex with someone." said Gojyo, he should get it now hopefully.

"OOOOOH!" said Goku, now running back over to where this conversation had originally started. "EW! NO WAY NOT WITH GOJYO!"

Gojyo laughed hard-a little too hard since his ribs started to ache a little- Sanzo sighed a little muttering that he was a stupid monkey and that he'd kill that kappa as soon as they stopped.  
"Now figure why Sanzo would be jealous monkey-boy." Gojyo added through his laugh.

Goku's mouth opened to say something back to the kappa but he froze and his face turned very very red. He turned back again in his seat, not wanting to say anymore. The reaction just sent Gojyo into more fits of laughter. Sanzo looked about the area they were driving through and slowed Jeep down until he came to a halt. "Tch, we may as well set up here." he announced getting out of the car lighting up a smoke.


	31. Chapter 31

Title: Not Gonna Lose You.

Disclaimer: I obviously DO NOT own Saiyuki (If I did, do you think I'd be here simply WRITING FANFICTION?!) that is all.

Pairings: Gojyo x Hakkai (Sanzo x Goku: ...guess what.)

Warnings: Disturbing Imagery, Shounen-Ai, Yaoi(later), RP ficlet.

Author Notes: This is another RP changed into a story using original text from both players, I didn't change or add much to the fic. I mainly played Gojyo, my friend mainly played Hakkai/Demon Hakkai. We took turns at Sanzo, Goku, demons, extra characters. Please enjoy.

SUMMARY: Things take a rather interesting turn.

* * *

Gojyo managed to control the laughing and placed a hand onto the boys head. "I was only messing around Goku, don't take it seriously yeah? unless you wanna of course." He grinned mischievously before turning away, letting him go and scooped up the healer into his arms and clambered carefully out the car.

"Love is ALWAYS serious piss-lick..." Goku said.

"Cheh, I know that dumb-ape." Gojyo retorted flipping him the bird as he said it.

"Maybe you should go talk to the shy monk." He added idly as he tugged his jacket off and laid it on the ground and rested Hakkai on it.

"He doesn't want to talk to me about that..." said Goku, his ears reddening slightly.

"Have you tried to?" Gojyo asked turning his head to look at him. Goku rolled his eyes at him. "I don't want him to HATE me dumb ass."

Gojyo smirked a little. "You should learn to read body language more Goku, it might help you one day." Gojyo lay back on the grass looking up at the sky for a moment before letting his eyes wander around.

"What are you looking for?" Goku asked, looking around too.

"Nothing really, why do you ask?"

Goku pointed at Hakkai's stomach. "Any animal or youkai within 10 miles will have smelled him by now."

"Good point monkey."

"Tch, he's using his brain more than you are kappa." Sanzo said coming up behind them.  
"Yeah yeah, whatever goldilocks." Gojyo replied freezing hearing the click of the gun.  
"You're seriously asking for me to pull this fucking trigger." hissed the monk.

"Sanzo, knock it off..." Goku whined. "I'm fricken starving..."

"Knock it off? gladly..." The priest aimed the gun at Gojyo's head. Gojyo stared down the barrel of the gun and laughed nervously. "I don't think he quite meant it that way Sanzo..."  
"Tch, I wouldn't waste a fucking bullet on you anyway." The monk muttered putting the gun away in his robes. "And if you're that hungry Goku go chew on the grass or find something."  
"Is splitting up again a wise idea?" Gojyo asked rhetorically glancing between the monk and monkey. "Why don't you both go look for something and I'll stay here with Hakkai?"

Goku looked up at Sanzo and blushed. "Yeah all right..."

"You better do a better job at protecting him this time kappa." The priest muttered to him, looking to Goku as he walked by him walking towards the wooded area. "Are you coming or not saru?"   
"Cheh, yeah yeah...I can handle an animal or Youkai ya know." Gojyo muttered under his breath watching the monk wander off smirking inwardly.

"I'm coming...be careful." he whispered to Gojyo solemnly.

"Aa," Gojyo replied idly and kept a close eye on the surrounding now that he chose to sit up. Hakuryu could help him with that to.

Sanzo looked down at the monkey briefly before looking about, there didn't look to be anything here, then again finding food was more the chimps department.

"All right saru go find food."

"I'm not a dog..." Goku muttered.

"Tch, I know that...you're a monkey. Anyway you're the one that's hungry and you have a better idea what the hell to look for." the priest muttered back to him.

"Not a monkey either. I'm a man actually, not that you'd fucking notice." Goku said under his breath, cranky from worrying over Hakkai and his empty stomach growling at him.

"Who the fuck said I hadn't noticed?" Sanzo said, without realising he had.

"Because you don't treat me like one, you treat me like a kid...the same as you've always treated me."

"So? You act like a kid half the times!"

"Only because you won't treat me like I'm NOT." Goku yelled back. Sanzo huffed again and folded his arms across his chest not replying to him, his mind had actually wandered back to that stupid conversation in the Jeep...he was going to kill the moronic kappa. Goku stopped suddenly and turned to face the priest.

"Kiss me."

His words brought the monk abruptly out of his thoughts and he froze in stride...did he just hear what he think he just heard? He glared down at the saru feeling that redness spring back to life on his cheeks again.

"What the fuck did you just say?"

"If you know I'm an adult...kiss me." Goku said challengingly.

"You...did Gojyo put you up to this?" Sanzo asked, raising a brow slightly studying him to see if he was lying about his answer or not.

"This has nothing to do with that shit head."

"Hn," Sanzo averted his gaze elsewhere for a moment, he doubted in his mind the kappa would actually put him up to something like this and expect to live after it. He let a sigh slip and unfolded his arms hesitantly. He stepped closer to the monkey his hand grabbing at the muffler and pulled him up a little so that their lips crushed together. Oh how red Sanzo's face must be now. Goku's eyes were huge, he didn't think Sanzo would actually..._Fuck it._ he thought and threw his arms around the taller man's neck to deepen the harsh kiss. The priest's mouth opened just a little flicking his tongue out to press roughly against Goku's lips. His arm that wasn't gripping tightly on the muffler snaked its way around the boys waist. Before they could go any further Goku broke the kiss and fell on his butt, hard.

"Holy CRAP!"

Sanzo allowed a sly smirk to fall into place on his lips before looking away to the side. "What? Did you think because I was raised in a temple I wouldn't know how to do that?"

"No, I didn't think you'd do it at all..." Goku was clearly shocked. "Do...you don't..."

"Well...That pervert wasn't around neither was Hakkai." Sanzo muttered, looking back at him.

"You don't love me do you?" It was more than he had ever dared to hope.

"Tch..." Sanzo sounded as he turned his back to him, damn that goddamned blush of his! He stayed silent for a moment before replying.

"Bakazaru..."


End file.
